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Business Communication W5

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Note to students: Kindy note the KCQs, and longer questions are a form of reference and practice for

assignments and exams. The


answers are incomplete and is not a memorandum. The questions and answers aim to provide structure on how to answer longer
and shorter questions, your own content and examples should be provided. Copying and pasting the answers and examples
verbatim from the document constitutes a form of plagiarism.

Bad Writing Costs Businesses Billions

Think about it. You start your day wading through first-draft emails from colleagues who fail to come to the point. You
consume reports that do not make clear what is happening or what your management should do about it. The websites,
marketing materials, and press releases from your suppliers are filled with jargon and meaningless superlatives. Poor
writing creates a drag on everything you do. It functions like a tax, sapping your profits. It is imperative that in everything
you write, treat the reader’s time as more valuable than your own. To embrace it means that every time you send an
email or write a document, you must take a moment to structure it for maximum readability and meaning. It is also
necessary to recognise that everybody reads on a screen now—either a smartphone or a computer screen. That
reduces attention spans and concentration, which in turn demands a radical rethink of the way you communicate in
writing. In this environment, brevity must become a core value. Regardless of what you write, the title or subject line and
the first two sentences must carry the payload.

People use jargon to impress other people—but for each person you impress, many others are just confused. Clear,
plain language communicates better, is easier to consume, and is more likely to get its point across to more people.
Along with clarity, brevity, and plain language, a disciplined and coherent review process goes a long way toward
improving the quality of the documents we are struggling to get meaning from. Embracing clear, pointed, and direct
writing is important and we should all commit to that.

Source: Adopted from https://www.thedailybeast.com/bad-writing-costs-businesses-billions )

QUESTION 1 (25 Marks)

According to the extract, for very time an email or document is being written, a moment should be taken to structure it
for maximum readability and meaning. As the marketing manager of Healthy Lifestyle Fitness centre, craft a persuasive
message using the AIDA model to encourage people to patronise the centre. The centre provides services such as
spinning classes, yoga, martial arts, dance routines, cardiovascular exercises weight training and swimming.
When framing a persuasive argument, effective businesspeople use the AIDA model. Students should craft their
message using the AIDA elements of Attention (A), Interest (I), Desire (D) and Action (A). Below is a breakdown of what
is expected for each criteria. The students should show application of the AIDA principle in their work. Use the
information below to guide your marking and mark for relevance and appropriateness.

 Attention (6 marks)
Attention – The first objective is to encourage people to want to hear about the services provided by the fitness centre. A
common ground should be established on which to build a case.

• ATTENTION can be grabbed by opening with the following:


o The product’s strongest feature or benefit
o o A strong, evocative image
o o A piece of genuine news
o A point of common ground with the audience
o o A personal appeal to the reader’s emotions and values o The
promise of insider information
o o The promise of savings
o o A solution to a problem

 Interest (6 marks)

Interest - Provide additional details that prompt audience members to imagine how the services provided might benefit
them. INTEREST can be built by highlighting the services central selling point, the single point around which the
message is built. It should comprise support for claims or promises made in the attention section

 Desire (6 marks)

Desire - Help audience members embrace the idea by explaining how the service provided by the fitness centre will
benefit them and answer potential objections. The audience’s DESIRE can be intensified by focusing on the audience,
by highlighting important benefits and by using action terms and colourful verbs and adjectives.

 Action (6 marks)

Action – Suggestion of specific action for the audience to take. Include a deadline, if applicable. Encouraging specific
ACTION can be done through citing statistics from feedback/research of the product’s performance and including
guarantees of exchange or return privileges A clear explanation of how to take the next step should be included, so
that the audience is persuaded to take action right away. Audience’s response can be boosted by adding a postscript
that reiterates the primary benefit and makes an additional offer.

 1 mark for logical flow of work.


The following provides a sample of a persuasive message using the AIDA model:

Question 2 (25 marks)

As a senior staff in your company, you noticed that many employees write badly and you believe that it is essential to
organise a business writing workshop for them. Write an internal proposal to the management requesting the
organisation and facilitation of a business writing workshop for employees.

The proposal should have an introduction, body and conclusion and should contain the following elements documented
below:

Introduction - The following topics should be covered in the introduction of the proposal (6 marks)
• Background or statement of the problem
• Solution
• Scope

Body - The body of a proposal typically includes these sections: (12 marks)
• Proposed solution
• Work plan
• Statement of qualifications
• Costs

Conclusion - The final section of the proposal: (7 marks)


• Summarises the key points
• Emphasises the benefits that readers will realise from your solution
• Summarises the merits of your approach
• Re-emphasises why you and your firm are a good choice
• Asks for a decision from the client

Question 3 (25 Marks)

Clear, plain language communicates better, is easier to consume and is more likely to get its point across to more
people.

You have been tasked with organising a team building day out for the staff in your institution. Write a report that details
the progress made up to date with the planning of the team building day out.

The report should have an introduction, body and conclusion and should contain the following elements documented
below:

Introduction (7 marks)

An effective introduction puts the report or proposal in context by tying it to an assignment or problem. It introduces the
subject or purpose of the report and indicates why the subject is important. It previews the main ideas and the order in
which they will be covered. It also establishes the tone of the document and the writer’s relationship with the audience.
Some of the following elements can be included in the introduction:
 Authorisation - When, how, and by whom the report was authorised, when it was submitted and who is
receiving it
 Problem/opportunity/purpose - The reason for writing the report and what can be achieved by it
 Scope -An overview of what is (or is not) covered in the report
 Background - The background, historical factors or a prelude to what will appear in the body or what led to the
report

Body (10 marks)

In the body of the report, enough details should be provided to support the conclusions and recommendations;
Topics in the body of a report can include:

• Explanations of a problem, assignment or opportunity

• Facts, statistical evidence, and trends

• Results of studies or investigations


• Discussion and analyses of potential courses of action

• Advantages, disadvantages, costs, and benefits of a particular course of action

• Procedures or steps in a process

• Methods and approaches

• Criteria for evaluating alternatives and options

• Conclusions and recommendations

• Supporting reasons for conclusions or recommendations

Conclusion (8 marks)
The end of the report is the most important part because, if finished well, it lets the audience leave with a positive
disposition towards the conclusion and recommendations you have drawn. A good conclusion can persuade the
audience, and pave the way for getting the response you desire. An effective close has four important functions:
 Emphasis of the main points
 Summary of the benefits to the reader
 Refers to all the pieces and reminds readers how those pieces fit together
 Brings all the action items together in one place.

Sample Progress Report


PROGRESS REPORT
Please note, your answers need not be in point form, paragraphs are preferred and use your discretion as to what goes
into arranging a school leaver’s ceremony, more content is required than what is provide below. Be specific, pay
attention to detail and be original!
BACKGROUND
School leaver’s ceremony being organised for grade 12.
SCOPE AND PURPOSE
In this section you should state:
 name of the person who instructed the writer to do the report should be stated,
 date on which the information was received,
 instruction given, the reason for the instruction and
 date by which the report should be completed
WORK COMPLETED SO FAR /PROGRESS
To date, I have completed the following:
 Booking the venue (name of venue)
 Arranged an MC for the night and a special guest, the special guest will be the previous principal of the school.
 Prizes and special awards have been purchased.
WORK CURRENTLY BEING ATTENDED TO /ADDITIONAL WORK
Two key tasks are to be completed in the coming weeks:
 Sourcing a catering company and a selection of the foods for the ceremony
 Invitations need to be printed
WORK SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT PERIOD AND FUTURE PLAN
 In this section you should write certain problems experienced and how you can overcome these.
 You can also speak about work that has not been attended to but will be completed in the weeks to come.
CONCLUSION
I expect to find that all additional work will be completed in adequate time and the ceremony will be successful given all
role players fulfil duties
 Note that your conclusion should sum up to the principal if you are on track with the ceremony or not and if any
other help is needed, a reassurance that the event will be a success can also be stated.

QUESTION 4 (25 Marks)

An employee in your company died in a tragic drowning incident. As the HR manager, write a letter of condolence on
behalf of the company to his/her family.

Condolence messages are sent in times of serious trouble and deep sadness. Although these messages are particularly
difficult to write, they often mean a great deal to the reader. Student’s condolence letter should comprise the following:
 Salutation/date (2 marks)
 Condolences messages should start with a brief statement of sympathy ( 3 marks)
 State what the person meant to the company (4 marks)
 Write about special qualities of the deceased (4 marks)
 Include the special qualities of the bereaved (2 marks)
 The message should be tactful (2 marks)
 It should be as sensitive as possible (1 mark)
 Reminiscences should be included but should be brief (3 marks)
 Close by offering condolences and best wishes (3 marks)
 Sign off (1 mark)

END OF PAPER
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