Oral

Communication
Semester 2 Module 4
Groups: 1, 2 & 3

Prepared by:

Pr. K. Sekkal & Pr. A. Jebbar

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 I. Defining Communication

The word ‗communication‘ is derived from the Latin verb communicare, which means
"to share" or "to make common".
Communication is generally defined as:
• the sharing of information
• the giving and receiving of messages
• the transfer of information from one or more people to one or more other people

Berelson and Steiner (1964: 527)define communication as “the transmission of

information, ideas, emotions, skills, etc. by the use of symbols – words, pictures, figures,
graphs, etc.”
According to Brown (1970 : 56), “communication is the transmission and
interchange of facts, ideas, feelings or course of action.”
According to Wood (2004: 9), communication is ―a systemic process in which
individuals interact with and through symbols to create and interpret meanings.‖

Differentdictionariesgivedifferentmeanings to communication. In Oxford Dictionary,

for example, we have about 12differentmeanings. Somedefinitionssaythat communication is
the transmission of a message or information by speaking or writing.
Anotherdefinitiondeclaresthat communication isgiving or exchanging information, signals,
messages by talk or gestures or writing. Yetanotherdefinitionsaysthat communication is social
intercourse. Communication is all this and much more. A good definitionshould not onlygive
the precisemeaning but alsothrow light on the scope of the word / expression.

Dance and Larson (1973) found that there were more than 126 definitions of
communication provided by eminent scholars, and since then, even more definitions have
been produced and formulated.
The proliferation of definitions is an indication that there is no single approach to the
study of communication. They define communication from different views.

In the scientific study of communication, there are three general and basic views about
communication: technical, meaning-centered, and transactional.

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 ●Technical view is concerned with how accurately and efficiently messages can be
transferred from one person to another along a channel such as telephone wires or the air
waves that carry sound and pictures to radios and television sets. They attempt to identify
ways of increasing the clarity and accuracy of the message and concentrate on improving the
tools and techniques that promote efficient communication such as clear telephone lines,
faster computers. In this view, communication is seen as a linear (one-way) sequence of
events from Person A to Person B.
From a technical point of view, communication can be defined very simply as:
▪ Sending and receiving messages
▪ Transmission of messages
▪Exchanging of messages
The technical point of view does not tell us about the complexity of communication or
the human aspect of communication.
● Meaning-centered theorists, however, try to find answers to the following
questions:
▪What motivates people to communicate?
▪ What does happen between them during communication?
▪ How do they give meaning to each other‘s messages?
▪ How do they use language to create and exchange meaningful messages?
The emphasis is on the interaction between the participants in communication, from
meaning-centered point of view, communication can be defined as a dynamic process of
exchanging meaningful messages.
In contrast to the technical point of view, considering communication as a process
means that it is not fixed or static, but it is dynamic, never-ending and never-changing. In
other words, it does not have a beginning or an end, nor does it follow a fixed sequence of
events. We change others and we are changed by them when we communicate; our ideas,
behavior, attitudes are gradually changing.
According to this view, communication is a process that is irreversible, each
communication encounter you have influences the one that follows. How you communicated
with someone in the past can help or hinder your communication with them in the future.
For example, you have an argument with your brother before going to school,your
feeling may cause you to lash out at a classmate who asks an innocent question. The problem
is that the next day, you and your classmate are unable to communicate as comfortably as

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before. Your reaction to the argument of the previous day has had an effect on your future
communication with your classmate.
● Communication as a process is transactional. Communication theorist regard
communication not only as an interactive process of changing information (meaningful
messages) but also as a transaction between the participants during which a relationship
develops between them (establishing messages and negotiating meaning to establish and
maintain relationships).
The concept of transaction suggests that the participants must arrive at some mutual
agreement about the meaning of their messages for communication to be effective and for the
relationship to be satisfying.

II. Elements of Communication

1- Sender /Receiver

The sender is the person who sends a message. A message is directed to a receiver, being the
eventual recipient of the message. Communication is a matter of comprehending the sent
message in its true essence and thus requires a certain level of Knowledge, Skills and
Abilities –KSA on the part of the receiver to correctly interpret the message. The KSA of the
receiver is therefore paramount in the successful comprehension of the message.

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 2- Message
The urge to satisfy a need necessitates expression. Without getting into the age old debate of
whether first is the word or the thought, the expression has to take a comprehensible form so
as to enable the receiver to decode or interpret it. This is done by using the different
conventions. The expression can be through signs and symbols. Symbols here denote the
verbal mode; or the use of words whereas the signs are non-verbal. Both symbols and signs
together make the language we use to communicate. Language, both verbal and non-verbal, is
thus employed to encode the message that is intended to be communicated. It is imperative
that the encoding be done in a language that conveys or for that matter communicates.
3- Channel
Channel is the means through which the encoded message travels or gets transmitted. The
channel is the medium such as e-mail, face to face or phone conversation, letter, presentation.
The sending and feedback channels may not be necessarily the same. The type of
communication viz. formal and informal communication is an important aspect in choosing
the most appropriate channel for communicating effectively.
4- Feedback
It is the reaction of the receiver to the sender‘s message. It tells the sender how to send the
next message.
5- Encoding
How the sender decides to send the messages based on PREDICTIONS or prior knowledge
about the receiver.
6- Decoding
Applying meaning and understanding the message that has been sent. Decoding of a message
is as integral to communication as encoding it. Decoding is the process of giving meaning to
the encoded message. It can also be referred to as extracting the embedded meaning or
interpreting what was encoded by the sender. The ability of the receiver in decoding the
message correctly is decisive in understanding the message in its holistic sense.

Interference/Noise

Noise is any force that interferes with effective communication. There are four types:
1- Psychological noise
2- Physiological noise

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 3- Physical noise
4- Semantic noise
1- Physiological Noise involves biological factors in the receiver or sender that interfere
with accurate reception.
2- Psychological Noiseinvolves mental forces within a receiver or sender that might
inhibit his or her ability to either encode or decode a message correctly. Ex. If a
receiver suffers from low self-esteem, they might interpret a sincere compliment as
sarcastic or condescending even though it wasn‘t. It is mental interference in the
speaker or listener.
3- Physical noise refers to any physical phenomenon that might impair a receiver‘s
ability to decode a message.
4- Semantic noise is interference created when the speaker and listener have different
meaning systems. Maybe when I use a word, you have a slightly different meaning in
mind. This can cause confusion.

Activity: Classify the following interferences according to the types of noise

• articulation problems
• loud kids who don‘t want to take their nap
• forgetting to breathe
• when your words and sentences are nebulous or ambiguous
• wandering thoughts
• mumbling
• talking too fast
• preconceived ideas
• irritating hum of your computer, air conditioner, or heater
• talking too slow
• forgetting to pause
• sarcasm
• loud party at the neighbors while you‘re trying to record
• if listeners have different definitions of the terminology

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 III. Models of Communication
A model iswidelyused to depictanyidea, thought or a concept in a more
simplerwaythroughdiagrams, pictorialrepresentations etc. Models go a long way in making
the understanding of any concept easy and clear. Through a model one caneasilyunderstand a
process and draw conclusions fromit. In simplerwords, a model makes the learning simple. In
communication, models are categorisedintolinear, circular, and transactional.

In 300 BC, Aristole spoke about 5 elements of communication: Speaker, Speech,

Audience, Effect. In his rhetoric, Aristotle advised the speaker to construct a speech for
different audiences on different occasions for different effects.
This model is most applicable for public speaking. The speakeris an orator to a large
audience.
According to Aristotle, to be a good orator, six elements have to be remembered: 1-
content, 2- manner of delivery, 3- pathos (emotion), 4- logos (reason), 5- ethos (credibility),
6- arguments.
This model is linear, one-way.

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 Harold Lasswell (1902-1978) is known for his studies in the field of politics. He is
concerned with mass communication and propaganda. One of its major contributions of this
model devised in 1948 was the concept of effect. Through the effect analysis, we try to know
how a certain message has affected the receiver. Although Lasswell‘s model was aimed to
study mass communication, it is positively known for being suitable to different situations
including interpersonal communication. The use of medium is very crucial in this model.
Examples are radio, TV, and other gadgets. However, in this model, feedback and noise are
not mentioned, and it remains a linear model.

The Shannon and Weaver model (1949)isspeciallydesigned to develop the effective

communication betweensender and receiver. AlsoShannon and Weaver foundfactorswhich
affect the communication processcalled ―Noise‖,

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whichisanotheradditionalelementthatfeaturesthis model. At first the model wasdeveloped to
improve the technical communication as Shannon and Weaver wereengineerswhoattempted to
reduce the communication process to a set of mathematical formulas. Laterit‘swidelyapplied
in the field of Communication.

This model is more effective in person-to-person communication than group or mass

audience. It isbased on ―Sender and Receiver‖ and conveysthatsenderplays the primaryrole
and receiverplays the secondaryrole. Againthis model depictscmmunicationas a one-
wayprocess.

Osgood and Schramm Model (1954)

The Osgood-Schramm model isbuilt on the theorythat communication is a two-

waystreet, with a sender and a receiver. It emphasizesthat communication
iscircularratherthanlinear, meaningthatitrequirestwo participants takingturnssending and
receiving a message.

The image above shows how the Osgood-Schramm model works. It involvescircular
communication betweentwo people.Eachpersonisbothasender and a receiver. They are
therefore able to communicate to one another, ratherthanonly in one direction. This model
isalsocalled the interaction model.

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 This circularfeature of the model isverydifferentfromotherlinearmodels of the time like
the Aristotle, Lasswell, and Shannon-Weaver modelsof communication.
Whencritiquinglinear, alsocalled one-way or transmission,models, Schramm(1955) argued:―In
factitismisleading to think of the communication process as startingsomewhere and
endingsomewhere. It isreallyendless. We are reallyswitchboardcentershandling and re-routing
the greatendlesscurrent of information.‖

Wood’s Model of communication

Wood (2004) offers the followingdiagram to illustrate communications taking place

betweentwo people.In this model, messages are being sent backwards and forwards all the
time, not just in one direction but simultaneously. The transactionalmodel focuses on how
weinterpretmeaning and how meanings are sharedwithinour communication withother people.
The transactionalmodel is a more accurate model of whatreallyhappens in face-to- face
communication than the Shannon and Weaver model. The Transactional Model
takesintoconsideration all the aspects of communication thatwelookedatearlierin. It isalso a
better basis for any new communication system youmightconsidercreating to help the people

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youworkwith. Whatisit in the transactionalmodel thatmakesitsomuchbetteratexplainingwhat
real-life communication islike. The answer lies in the channels of communication.

To review, each model incorporates a differentunderstanding of what communication

is and what communication does. The transmission model views communication as a thing,
like an information packet, thatis sent from one place to another. Fromthisview,
communication isdefined as sending and receiving messages. The interaction model views
communication as an interaction in which a message is sent and thenfollowed by a reaction
(feedback), whichisthenfollowed by anotherreaction, and so on. Fromthisview,
communication isdefined as producing conversations and interactions withinphysical and
psychologicalcontexts. The transaction model views communication as integratedintoour
social realities in such a waythatithelps us not onlyunderstandthem but alsocreate and change
them.

IV. Levels of Communication

I.INTRAPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

It is language use or thought internal to the communicator. Intrapersonal

communication is the active internal involvement of the individual in symbolic processing of
messages. The individual becomes his or her own sender and receiver, providing feedback to
him or herself in an ongoing internal process. It can be useful to envision intrapersonal
communication occurring in the mind of the individual in a model which contains a sender,
receiver, and feedback loop.

■Three aspects of intrapersonal communication:

1- Self-conceptis the basis for intrapersonal communication, because it determines

how a person sees him/herself and is oriented toward others. Self-concept (also called
self-awareness) involves three factors: beliefs, values and attitudes.
1-1 Beliefs are basic personal orientation toward what is true or false, good or bad; beliefs can
be descriptive or prescriptive.
1-2 Values are deep-seated orientations and ideals, generally based on and consistent with
beliefs, about right and wrong ideas and actions.

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1-3 Attitudes are learned predisposition toward or against a topic, ideals that stem from and
generally are consistent with values. Attitudes often are global, typically emotional.
Beliefs, values and attitudes all influence behavior, which can be either spoken opinion or
physical action. Some psychologists include body image as an aspect of intrapersonal
communication, in that body image is a way of perceiving ourselves, positively or negatively,
according to the social standards of our culture. Other things that can affect self-concept are
personal attributes, talents, social role, even birth order.
2- Perception.Whereas self-concept focuses internally, perception looks outward.
Perception of the outside world also is rooted in beliefs, values and attitudes. It is so
closely intertwined with self-concept that one feeds off the other, creating a
harmonious understanding of both oneself and one‘s world.
3- Expectations. Meanwhile, expectations are future-oriented messages dealing with
long-term roles, sometimes called life scripts. These sometimes are projections of
learned relationships within the family or society.
Intrapersonal communication may involve different levels of communication
activity: internal discourse, solo vocal communication, and solo written communication.
1- Internal discourse involves thinking, concentration and analysis. Psychologists
include both daydreaming and nocturnal dreaming in this category. Prayer, contemplation and
meditation also are part of this category, though from a theological point of view the
argument may be made that this is not solely internal to one person. In Sufi tradition, this is
similar to the concept of nafs, negotiating with the inner self. Example: Consciously
appreciating the beauty of a sunset.
2- Solo vocal communication includes speaking aloud to oneself. This may be done to
clarify thinking, to rehearse a message intended for others, or simply to let off steam.
Example: Talking to yourself as you complain about your boss.
3- Solo written communication deals with writing not intended for others. Example: An
entry in a diary or personal journal.

Intrapersonal communication can encompass:

• Day-dreaming
• Nocturnal dreaming, including and especially lucid dreaming

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 • Speaking aloud (talking to oneself), reading aloud, repeating what one hears; the
additional activities of speaking and hearing, what one thinks, reads or hears may
increase concentration and retention.
• Sense-making e.g. interpreting maps, texts, signs, and symbols
• Interpreting non-verbal communication e.g. gestures, eye contact
• Communication between body parts; e.g. "My stomach is telling me it's time for
lunch."
• Writing (by hand, or with a word processor, etc.) one's thoughts or observations: the
additional activities, on top of thinking, of writing and reading back may again
increase self-understanding ("How do I know what I mean until I see what I say?")
and concentration. It aids ordering one's thoughts; in addition it produces a record that
can be used later again. Copying text to aid memorizing also falls in this category.
• Making gestures while thinking: the additional activity, on top of thinking, of body
motions, may again increase concentration, assist in problem solving, and assist
memory.

Intrapersonal Communication
Ideas about the Development of the Self and Personality

We will certainly want to define the notion of personality if we are to understand

communication.
For Freud the personality consists of three parts: the id, the ego, and the superego.
The id responds directly to the instinct, it contains everything that is present at birth.
The ego represents the conscious self responding to the physical needs of the id. The ego
operates according to the reality principles, bringing the outside world to bear on the desires
of the id. The ego is reason, whereas the id is passion.
The super-ego is the moral aspect of the personality and thus the last fully to develop the
super-ego is in constant conflict with the id, for one is moral and the other is amoral.
The Id: Ahmed saw 1000 DH in the cash register; he took the money and slipped it into his
pocket, glancing around to make sure no one was looking.
The Ego: Even though Ahmed needed money, he decided not to steal the money from the
cash register because he didn‘t want to get in trouble.

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The Super-ego: Ahmed knew that he could steal the money, and no one would know about it.
However, he knew that stealing was wrong, so he decided not to take anything even though he
would probably never get caught.
The id, ego, and super-ego work together in creating a behavior. The id creates the
demands, the ego adds the needs of reality with the super-ego adds morality to the action
which is taken.

Activity :
1- If you were walking home and found a wallet containing money lying on the ground.
2- You find yourself attracted to your best friend‘s husband/wife.
What does your id say?
What does your ego say?
What does your superego say?
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Interpersonal communication is defined by communication scholars in numerous ways,

though most definitions involve participants who are interdependent on one another, have a
shared history. Communication channels are the medium chosen to convey the message from
sender to receiver. Communication channels can be categorized into two main categories:
Direct and Indirect channels of communication.

1- Direct Interpersonal Communication

Direct interpersonal communicationinvolves a direct face-to-face relationship
between the sender and receiver of a message, who are in an interdependent relationship.
Because of interpersonal communication‘s immediacy (it is taking place now) and primacy (it
is taking place here), it is characterized by a strong feedback component. Communication is
enhanced when the relationship exists over a long period of time. Interpersonal
communication involves not only the words used but also the various elements of nonverbal
communication. The purposes of interpersonal communication are to influence, help and
discover, as well as to share and play together.
Interpersonal communication involves not only the words used, but also various
elements of non-verbal communication. The purposes of interpersonal communication are to
influence, help and discover — as well as to share and perhaps even play together.

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 The main benefits of interpersonal communication include the transfer of knowledge
and assisting changes in attitudes and behaviour. It may also be used to teach new skills such
as problem solving. The communication takes place in both directions from the source to the
receiver and vice versa. There is a chance to raise questions and start a discussion so that the
idea is understood by both parties. Since the communication is interactive there is a high
chance of utilising more than two senses such as seeing, hearing and touching.
Interpersonal communication can be categorized by the number of participants.
1-1 Dyadic communication
1-2 Group communication
1-3 Public communication
1-1Dyadic communication involves two people. Example: Two friends talking.
1-2 Group communication refers to the nature of communication that occurs in groups
that are between 3 and 12 individuals. Small group communication generally takes place in a
context that mixes interpersonal communication interactions with social clustering.
1-3 Public communication is at the heart of our economy, society, and politics. Studios
use it to promote their films. Politicians use it to get elected. Businesses use it to burnish their
image. Advocates use it to promote social causes. It's a field built on ideas and images,
persuasion and information, strategy and tactics. No policy or product can succeed without a
smart message targeted to the right audience in creative and innovative ways.

Another way of categorizing interpersonal communication is on the function or

setting of the communication.

A. Organizational communication deals with communication within large

organizations such as businesses. This is sometimes considered part of group
communication, but communication scholars have built up a body of knowledge
focused primarily on organizations. Example: Work-focused discussion between
employer and employee. In this part, communication usually takes place on
vertical lines. For instance, a company director is passing on instructions
to managers.
B. Family communication focuses on communication patterns within nuclear,
extended and blended families. Like organizational communication, this too is
sometimes seen as part of the general category of group communication, but much
research has been focused specifically on communication within a family

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 relationship. Family communication can be enhanced by the long-standing and
close relationships among participants as well as the likelihood that families have
shared heritage, similar values, and social rituals. Patterns differ in communication
between spouses, between parent and child, among siblings, and within the wider
family context. Example: Conversation during a holiday meal.

2- Mediated Interpersonal Communication

Mediated interpersonal communication involves technology that assists or links the
sender and receiver of messages. This may involve immediacy (live, or so-called real time). It
does not involve a primary context but instead uses technology to link the various parties in
communication.
2-1 Dyadic communication includes two people, with some of the elements of
interpersonal, but the context is not face-to-face. Example: Two business colleagues using the
telephone or e-mail.
2-2 Group communication includes a small group of people. Example:
Teleconference in a distance learning class.
2-3 Mass communication is a means of transmitting messages to a large
segment of a population. Electronic and print media are commonly used for this. The word
‗media‘ is currently used to refer not only to broadcast media such as radio, the internet and
television — but also to print media such as papers, magazines, leaflets and wall posters. The
powerful advantage of mass media over face-to-face contact is the rapid spread of simple
facts to a large population at a low cost. The main effects of mass communication are the
increased knowledge or awareness of an issue, the potential influence on behaviours at the
early stages and the possibility to communicate new ideas to early adopters (opinion leaders).
Mediated communication offers the advantage that it allows people to communicate
over a distance or throughout a time span that would not be possible in direct communication.
E-mail offers instantaneous global communication, and cell phones are highly mobile.
Computer technology makes it possible for people to do their job without being physically
present, allowing them to work from their home or from across the world.
Like direct communication, mediatedcommunication may be formal or informal,
personal or public. Feedback may be immediate or delayed. Machines even can assist in
communication.Mediated communication has several inherent limitations, including the

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ability of telephone or Internet users to mask or disguise the source of the message, or the
susceptibility of machines to various mechanical or technological noise sources.

Impersonal Communication
Additionally, some scholars identify a category of impersonal communication. This is a
distinction between impersonal and interpersonal communication on the basis of the quality of
the interaction. Impersonal communication is that which involves functional short-term
exchanges such as might occur between a shopper and a salesman; the label of interpersonal is
reserved for communication that functions in deeper and more meaningful relationships.

V. Communicative Competence
Although competence has been examined from different disciplines and perspectives, it can
be simply conceptualized as an individual‘s ability to interact appropriately and effectively
with another person in a specific context. As a basic need of human beings, competence can
be understood as the extent to which a person produces the intended effect in the process of
interaction. The concept is usually discussed by social scientists and communication scholars
under several generic categories, including fundamental competence, linguistic competence,
social competence, interpersonal competence, and relational competence. Fundamental
competence concerns the cognitive
ability that helps individuals communicate effectively in different situations; social
competence emphasizes a person‘s specific skills that lead to an effective interaction;
linguistic competence focuses more on the knowledge of and the ability to execute language
and messages in the process of interaction; interpersonal competence is more goal oriented
and concerned with the individual‘s ability to accomplish tasks by demonstrating certain
successful communication skills; and relational competence highlights the importance of the
reciprocal process of interaction, in which the interactants are able to establish relationships
with each other to achieve goals. However, all these generic categories can be put under the
concept of communication competence.

Debates About Communication Competence

Although the definition of competence is commonly accepted, debates continue to exist
among scholars regarding whether competence is a trait, state, or perception. The trait
approach argues that competence is an inherent predisposition or ability; thus some people are

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born to be more competent than others. The state approach argues that competence is based
on performance or behavioral skills, which are influenced by the particular context, time, or
place of interaction. The perception approach argues that competence is neither an intrinsic
trait nor extrinsic skills but is the perception or impression resulting from the characteristics
and behaviors of the interactants within the relational or interactional context of a
communication interaction. In addition to these debates about the essential nature of
competence, another conceptual ambiguity related to defining competence is the use of
competence and effectiveness in similar and overlapping ways. Because effectiveness mainly
refers to behavioral performance, and competence requires appropriateness, which is based
more on individual knowledge about or motivation toward the situation to complete its
meaning, competence and effectiveness should not be used interchangeably. Instead,
effectiveness should be considered one of the criteria in conceptualizing competence.
Theoretical Approaches
An array of theories have been developed to conceptualize the diversity of approaches to
competence, including psychological, social, and critical. Theories of communication
competence from the psychological perspective basically focus on message processing and
production. The psychological perspective of communication competence emphasizes the
individual‘s mental process underlying behaviors. In 2003, Steven Wilson and Christina
Sabee specified expectancy theories and attribution theories as the two categories of
communication competence theories for message processing; these theories concern how
people attend to, interpret, and evaluate communicative behaviors in interaction. Wilson and
Sabee described goals–plans– action theories and hierarchical theories as the two categories
of theories for message production; they concern goal attainment through the process of
generating and enacting communicative behaviors. Theories of communication competence
from the social perspective emphasize the relational, functional, and contextual nature of
competence. Represented by dialectic theories of human relationship, the social perspective of
communication competence takes a dialectical and dialogical stance to examine the change
and multiplicity of communicative behaviors in interaction. The critical perspective for
studying communication competence is a less advanced area, drawing on the critical
metatheoretical approach developed by Jürgen Habermas. Based on the belief that truth is
embedded in the universal pragmatic relations between speech acts, between speakers, and
between speech situations, this perspective claims that the emancipated form of life must be
anticipated in every act of communication. Thus, competence can be reached only in an open

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and unconstrained communication context. In other words, communication competence refers
to the authentic, accurate, and appropriate exchange of messages in the absence of a
dominance– subordination hierarchical structure of social relationship. This approach shows
its potential strength when identifying competence in the context of intercultural
communication.
Common Themes
The theories contained within each of these perspectives are often incompatible in terms of
approaches to communication competence; nonetheless, examining the common themes that
cut across these differences is important to a comprehensive understanding of competence.
These common themes, based on the criteria of effectiveness and appropriateness as valid
indicators of competence, dictate that communication competence should comprise three
dimensions: cognitive, affective, and behavioral abilities.
Cognitive Ability
Cognitive abilities are reflected in the individual awareness of relevant communication
situations and their requirements. This situational understanding may include knowing the
verbal context, in which one should know how to make sense in terms of expression; knowing
the relationship context, in which one should know how to match the messages to the
particular relationship at hand; and knowing the environmental context, in which one should
know the constraints imposed by the symbolic and physical environments on message
making. This cognitive knowledge is equivalent to self-awareness or self-monitoring in the
process of communication. Self-awareness or
self-monitoring helps one detect the social appropriateness of self-presentation and to further
control and modify one‘s own expressive behaviors to meet the requirements of particular
situations.
Affective Elements
The affective perspective of competence mainly concerns personal emotions or changes in
feelings caused by different communication contexts or people involved in the interaction. In
other words, to be competent in communication, the individual must be able to project and
receive positive emotional responses in the process of interaction and demonstrate respect for
differences between interactants. Scholars have identified five common personal attributes
that reflect affective ability: self-concept, empathy, open-mindedness, social relaxation, and
nonjudgment. Self-concept is the way we see ourselves, which directly impacts how a person
communicates and relates to the surrounding world. A person with positive self-concept,
especially self-esteem, is more likely not only to think well of himself or herself and be

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accepted by others, but also to feel more comfortable and perform better in an ambiguous
situation. Other aspects of self-concept, including optimism, extroverted personality, and self-
reliance, also contribute to the enhancement of communication competence. Empathy, or
perspective taking, is the ability to see the event from one‘s counterpart‘s perspective during
the interaction. Empathic persons are able to project themselves into another person‘s point
of view and feel the same feelings and think the same thoughts as that person. Being able to
step into another person‘s shoes in order to sense what is inside another person‘s mind helps
the individual adopt different roles as required by different communication contexts, which in
turn leads to reciprocity, active listening, and the establishment of rapport between the
interactants. Open-mindedness is the willingness to share with others what is on one‘s mind.
It is also the willingness to recognize, appreciate, and accept different views and ideas from
others. This process of mutual validation and confirmation of each other‘s identity is key to
fostering a favorable impression in an interaction. Social relaxation is the ability to regulate
anxiety in interactions. A feeling of uneasiness is caused by the uncertainty or unpredictability
that is created by an ambiguous situation during an initial encounter. A less competent person
tends to feel insecure psychologically when entering a new situation, in which the social
anxiety may lead to rigid posture, hesitation, speech disturbances, and limited communication.
Finally, being nonjudgmental is an effective way to avoid stereotypes and prejudices that
prevent a person from listening sincerely and actively to others during the interaction. In this
regard, a lack of communication competence is reflected in a person‘s tendency to hastily
jump to conclusions in conversation without sufficient information. Such evaluative messages
often lead to defensive reaction from one‘s counterparts, putting the interaction and the
relationship in jeopardy. In contrast, being nonjudgmental fosters a feeling of enjoyment of
personal differences and allows for the development of a satisfactory and supportive
communication climate.
Behavioral Aspect
The behavioral aspect of competence is a dimension that concerns the ability to attain
communication goals through effective application of behavioral skills. Such skills are
demonstrated by adroit verbal and nonverbal behaviors that enable an individual to get the job
done effectively and appropriately in communication. Five key factors of competent
behavioral skills have been identified by scholars: message skills, interaction management,
behavioral flexibility, identity management, and relationship cultivation.
Message skills form the foundation of linguistic competence in communication. They demand
the knowledge of linguistic rules and the ability to skillfully use verbal and nonverbal

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language during the interaction. For example, the effective use of communication codes, the
ability to identify and distinguish main ideas and message types, and the capacity for
organizing, expressing, and evaluating ideas clearly and precisely are important behavioral
skills that lead to a competent communication.
Interaction management is the ability to implement the interactional rules of verbal and
nonverbal messages, which mainly refers to conversational turn taking. A competent person is
able to make an accurate assessment of the needs of others in order to appropriately initiate,
terminate, and take turns in interaction. In other words, in the process of initiating and
terminating a conversation, a competent person indicates interest, tolerance, and the ability to
orient toward the others in the interaction. A successful interaction management also involves
affiliation and support through speech alternation, eye contact, head nods, smiling, and
physical proximity, which will naturally manifest the personal abilities of attentiveness,
perceptiveness, and responsiveness in terms of communication.
Behavioral flexibility shows a person‘s ability to adapt to different communication situations
by selecting appropriate and effective strategies to achieve personal goals in interaction.
Behavioral flexibility is accompanied by a comfortable feeling when interacting with different
people in different contexts. In addition to feeling easy and relaxed about getting along with
new people and fitting in with different groups of people, a person with behavioral flexibility
is also good at making choices in terms of messages to mark the status and relationship of the
people involved in the interaction.
Identity management is based on the ability of knowing oneself as an entity, and at the same
time being able to inform the counterparts about who they are. Identity cannot be developed
alone by oneself; instead, it is formed through the process of negotiation and reinforcement
between the interactants in communication, which reflects a dynamic and multifaceted
process. Thus, how to display the salience and intensity of each other‘s identity in different
temporal and spatial situations is the sine qua non of being competent in communication. The
last factor of the behavioral aspect of communication competence is the ability to develop a
positive relationship with others.
Relationship cultivation is dictated by the independent and reciprocal interactions between
the two parties; only through this dimension can one‘s needs be satisfied and a positive
outcome of interaction be attained.Usually, being friendly, showing concern and commitment,
and displaying courtesy and cooperativeness during the interaction will ensure the
development of a beneficent relationship.

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Assessment of Communication Competence

A final issue for the study of communication competence that needs to be addressed is how to
assess communication competence. Scholars have taken three approaches to resolving this
problem: (1) soliciting data from individuals through selfassessment of their own abilities, (2)
training raters to provide objective and reliable observations of interactants‘ behaviors, and
(3) soliciting interactants‘ views of their counterparts‘ communication abilities in
communication. The issues and methods of the assessment of communication competence
were organized and discussed in depth by Brian Spitzberg in 2003, providing clear direction
for future researchers interested in pursuing this specific area of study.
By Guo-Ming Chen (Encyclopedia of
communication Theory)

VI. Listening skills

Listening is the skill that is the least taught formally. Unless you have a hearing disability,
everybody assumes that just because you have ears, you can listen. This is a wrong
assumption as listening and hearing are different sets of skills.
Hearing, which is merely the physical ability to hear sounds, occurs unconsciously. Listening
is to hear something mindfully. Effective listening requires you to listen intently and pay close
attention to the speaker. If you do not pay full attention or miss part of the message, you
cannot replay what has been said unless you have recorded the message or lecture.
According to Devito (2009), effective listening comprises five components
as shown in Figure 2.2 below:

Figure 1: A Model of Listening

(i) Receiving
Hearing begins and ends when one receives a sound stimuli. Listening is different. Listening
does not begin and end just with hearing a sound as it involves deriving meaning from the

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sound. When you listen, you concentrate on the verbal as well as non-verbal message. This
involves reading gestures, body movements and facial expressions.

(ii) Understanding
This is the stage where you learn to decipher the meaning of the message as well as pick up
cues from the emotional tone of the speaker.

(iii) Remembering
Listening also involves remembering interpreted sounds or messages and saving them for use
later on. However, you may not be able to remember exactly what you hear. Your mind
deciphers and reinterprets messages and sometimes, you just cannot recall 100% of the
message.

(iv) Evaluating
Evaluating a message means that you make some judgement about it. This process is often done
unconsciously by the listener. In some cases, you might want to identify the speakerÊs intention or
motive. This judgement might be critical or analytical and cause you to wonder whether what you hear
is based on facts or emotion. You may need to decide whether the speaker has a personal agenda, or is
biased and prejudiced.
(v) Responding
Responses are feedback based on what you have heard. You respond in two ways. First, you respond
while the speaker is talking and, second, you respond after the speaker has stopped speaking. In
responding you allow the speaker to know what you think or feel about what he has said.

Types of Listening

There are two types of listening ă passive and active. The difference between them is the level
of involvement of the listener. In passive listening, you listen passively, at a low level of
concentration and absorb the minimum number of words. Very often, you remember, or
understand, very little of what has been said. You may respond to the speakerÊs voice by
smiling or nodding but do not pay full attention to him/her. This kind of listening happens
when you are on holiday or relaxing. You may be lazing on the beach, listening vaguely to
music or voices in the background. You only begin to listen attentively when you hear
something that interests you, for instance, the call to go for lunch. Active listening involves a
higher level of concentration. You listen actively at school, university or work, when you
need to obtain information.

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You can improve your active listening skills through various techniques:

(i) Paraphrasing the speakerÊs message and ideas, using simpler words
without changing the meaning.
(ii) Identifying your weaknesses, e.g. are you hearing-impaired, mentally
unprepared, or easily distracted?
(iii) Preparing yourself mentally and physically to listen, using various
listening strategies, e.g. the Memory Helper (see Figure 1.2).
(iv) Setting priorities, e.g. what are the important things you want to listen
to?

Figure 2: The memory Helper

VII. Speaking Skills

This is the skill that you will use most in oral communication. Wood (2009) lists three
principles that explain oral communication and how they affect us. The fourth, concerning
speech quality, is obtained from Camp & Satterwhite (2002).

a. Interpretation of Symbols Create Meaning

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 Symbols, like words, which are used in communication do not have meanings on their
own. Their meanings are derived from people. This means that you have to look into
people to uncover the meaning. Every word has a dictionary meaning but when used
by a person in an expression, you have to look into the person and the context in
which the word is used to get the actual meaning. For example, "go out" is literally a
command or directive. You say these words when you want someone to physically
move from the inside of a building to the outside. However, if a man says to a woman,
"Lets go out." he is not necessarily asking her to go outside. He might actually be
asking her to go on a date. Also the meanings attached to words change from time to
time. Words which used to have a positive or neutral connotation may now have a
negative connotation, and vice-versa.
b. There are Rules in Communication
Verbal communication has its own set of unspoken but widely understood
rules. "Communication rules are shared understandings of what communication means and
what kinds of communication are and are not appropriate in various situations" (Wood, 2009).
These rules are not formalised or intentionally formed but are unconsciously
developed as we interact with family, friends and people at work. There are
two sets of rules that guide communication:
(i) Regulative Rules
These unwritten rules tell you when, where, how and with whom you can have a conversation.
An example is turn-taking when talking with someone. You know that you should not
interrupt the person speaking but you also need to look out for signals that will tell you
when to enter into a conversation and when to end it. Regulative rules also define when,
where, and with whom you can communicate in a particular way. For example, traditionally,
in Asian homes, the elders speak first while the youngsters listen without interruption or
contradiction. At work, junior officers are expected not to interrupt superior officers when
they speak. However, superior officers can interrupt their junior officer any time. Employees
are also expected to show respect and interest when their employers speak to them.
(ii) Constitutive Rules
These rules "define what communication means by showing us the meaning behind certain
kinds of symbols used in communication." For example, head bowing in Asia is a symbol of
respect, kissing and hugging denotes love and affection while yawning and shouting during a
conversation denotes rudeness. Another example of a constitutive rule is to clap after a
speaker has given a talk even though we may have found the talk absolutely boring.

(c) Punctuation Affects Meaning

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Punctuation in communication affects meaning. The full stop, for instance, marks the
end of one sentence or idea and the beginning of another. Similarly, punctuation can
signal the beginning or the end of a particular interaction. For example, when a
professor enters the lecture hall, his entry marks the beginning of the lecture. When he
switches off the overhead projector, takes off his reading glasses and says "ThatÊs all
for today", it signals the end of the lecture. Tension is created when people disagree on
punctuation.
(d) Voice Attributes
To be an effective speaker, you need to pay attention to the following voice attributes
as they affect the quality of your speech.
(i) Volume
Your voice must be heard clearly for effective oral communication.
You need to have good breath control in order to speak with sufficient
volume. If you speak too softly, the audience will not be able to hear
and understand what you are saying.
(ii) Pitch
You should speak with a pleasing pitch that is neither too high nor too
low. Your voice will be shrill if it is pitched too high, and deep if it is
pitched too low. Speakers need to learn to vary the pitch of their
voices when they speak so as to get the right intonation.
(iii) Intonation
Intonation is the rhythm, or the rise and fall of your voice when you
speak. For example, the intonation rises at the end of the utterance
when you ask a question. The intonation remains level at the end of
the utterance when you make a statement. Subtle nuances in meaning
can arise when you vary the pitch.
(iv) Tone
The tone of your voice reflects your emotions and attitude. A cheerful
and pleasant tone is usually appreciated by your listeners.
Telephone operators and frontline people who man phones need to
develop a polite, cheerful and pleasant tone. The tone that you use
must also be suitable for the words and the message that you intend
to convey.

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 (v) Tempo
Tempo refers to the speed at which you speak. Do not speak too fast or too
slowly. If you speak too fast, your listeners will not be able to catch what you
are saying. However, if you speak too slowly, your listeners may get bored and
their attention may wander. Worse still, you may end up making them sleepy.
A recommended speaking rate is 125 words per minute.
(vi) Enunciation
This refers to the clarity or distinctiveness with which you articulate each part
of a word. Clear enunciation of words will help your listener to better
understand your message.
Many speakers do not enunciate the end sounds of words, for example,
dropping the /g/ sound in "walking" to sound like "walkin". When they speak
fast, they run the sounds of a group of words together and drop some sounds,
e.g., "Whadijado?" for "What did you do?"
(vii) Pronunciation
Pronunciation refers to the reproduction of the sound of individual
letters or group of letters that make up a word. It also includes
speaking with the correct stress and emphasis.

VIII. Roles of Speaker and Listener

Both the speaker and the listener are responsible for ensuring that effective
communication takes place. Remember that the speaker is the sender of the message
while the listener is the receiver. Let us look at the some of
responsibilities of both the speaker and the listener in the communication process
(Camp & Satterwhite, 2002).
1. Evaluate the Situation
Effective communication can only take place when the speaker is clear about his
own views and interpretation of ideas and experiences. Communication with
yourself must take place before you can communicate effectively with others. The
speaker needs to evaluate the communication situation and try to do the
following:
(a) Avoid Miscommunication

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The ideal situation is when the intended message, actual message, and
interpreted message are the same. This is what Carl Rogers meant when he
defined „communication‰ way back in 1952. The speaker needs to choose
his words precisely and the receiver should listen with full attention so
that the message is understood correctly. There should be no room for
miscommunication.
(b) Give and Receive Feedback
Misinterpretation and breakdown in communication can be avoided if the
sender gets feedback. In a dialogue, the speaker can observe signals given
out by the listener (e.g. body language, gestures, and facial expression) to
see whether his message has been interpreted correctly. Another technique is to ask
questions. The speaker can ask the receiver questions to determine whether his message
is getting across accurately. As communication is a continuous two-way process
involving sender and receiver, the receiver can, in turn, ask questions to clarify what is
unclear.
(c) Maintain Goodwill
Effective communication is more easily achieved if the listener accepts and receives the
speakerÊs message with an open mind. An effective communicator needs to be good at
public relations so as to maintain goodwill between sender and receiver. Do not offend
or anger people with what you say or you will make enemies. This will affect how your
message is received and interpreted.
2. Undestand Needs
As an effective communicator, you will try
to fulfil your own needs as well as the
needs of the receiver of your message.
Abraham Maslow categorised human
needs into five levels. Figure 2.8 shows
MaslowÊs hierarchy of needs:

Figure 3: MaslowÊs hierarchy of needs

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 Physical Needs These are basic needs like food, clothing, and shelter. These basic
needs must be satisfied before receivers can think of other things.
Security Needs These include the desire for a safe and secure environment that is
free from
physical harm and emotional or mental abuse.
Social Needs Everyone wants to have a sense of belonging and be part of a group.
These
needs are satisfied by being part of a family, social circle or
workforce.
Esteem Needs These needs are actualised through feelings of self-worth, self-
respect,
prestige, power and recognition.
Self- These are higher level needs which are met through a sense of
acualisation achievement
Needs and helping other people realise their goals.

IX. Non-verbal Communication

Nonverbal communication is expressed through nonlinguistic means. It is the actions or
attributes of humans, including their appearance, use of objects, sound, time, smell, and
space, that have socially shared significance and stimulate meaning in others. It includes
visual/kinesic cues such as facial expressions, eye movements, gestures, and body
orientation; vocal/paralinguistic cues such as volume, pitch, rate, and inflection;
proxemic cues such as space and distance; olfactory or smell cues; cues provided via
artifactual communication and appearance; cues sent via color; and chronemic or time
cues.
Although we may send nonverbal messages deliberately or accidentally, their meaning
depends on how they are interpreted. Consequently, they fulfill metacommunicative
functions, and communicate about communication, clarifying both the nature of our
relationship, and/or the meaning of our verbal messages. In fact, researchers conclude that
nonverbal cues carry approximately two-thirds of a message‘s communicative value. Even
when used independently of words, as long as an observer derives meaning from them,

29
 nonverbal messages speak volumes. Of course, the amount of information conveyed
varies according to their clarity, and how receptive and perceptive the receiver is. Based
on interpretations of our nonverbal cues, others may decide if they like us, will or will
listen to our ideas, or want to sustain or terminate our relationship. The ability to
understand and respond to nonverbal messages helps unlock meaning‘s door.

(a) The Functions and Characteristics of Non-verbal Communication

As we noted, for us to fully understand the meaning of verbal messages, we also need
to understand the meaning of the nonverbal messages that accompany them or occur in
their absence. After all, we can change the meaning of our words with the wink of an
eye, a certain facial expression, voice tone, bodily movement, use of space, or touch.
As our ability to use and interpret nonverbal behavior and contextual cues improves,
so will our understanding of interpersonal relationships. Let‘s see how this works.
What do you make of these examples?
 The little boy who hides behind his mother as he says, ―I‘m not afraid of the
dog.‖
 The teacher who asks, ―Any questions?‖ and fails to wait for a response before
moving on to the next point.
 The child whose eyes are downcast and shoulders are rounded as she says,
―I‘m sorry for breaking the vase.‖
 The supervisor who, when asked a question by an employee, leans forward
with a hand cupped behind one ear.
Each message contains nonverbal cues that help reveal what a person is feeling. As we see,
nonverbal cues are integral to communication. As the preceding situations illustrate, they may
(1) contradict words, (2) emphasize or underscore words, (3) regulate their flow, (4)
complement words, or (5) substitute for or take the place of spoken words (See the Table 1
below). Whereas words are best at conveying thoughts or ideas, nonverbal cues are best at
conveying information about relational matters such as liking, respect, and social control. To
be sure, the meaning of neither verbal nor nonverbal messages should be interpreted without
carefully considering the other. Let us review each of the identified functions.
(1)
Function Example
Contradicting Your face is contorted into a grimace. Your eyes are narrowed and eyebrows
furrowed. Yet, you are yelling, ―I am not upset!‖ You are sending a mixed/double

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 message.
Emphasizing You wave your finger accusingly and raise your voice to demonstrate your anger
as you say, ―It is your fault, not mine.‖ Your behavior provides the italics.
Regulating After explaining your stance on an issue, you raise and then lower your intonation
as you say, ―And that‘s why I feel the way I do.‖ This, together with your silence,
signals you are finished speaking and another person may comment. Your
behavior influences the flow of verbal interaction.
Complementing Your head is bowed and your body posture is slouched as your boss tells you how
unhappy she is with your job performance. Your nonverbal cues provide clues to
the relationship you and your boss share; they also help convey your attitude
toward your boss.
Substituting You run into a friend who asks, ―So, how do you like your new job?‖ You just roll
your eyes, using nonverbal cues in place of words.

(b) Reading Non-verbal Messages

To improve your ability to read another person, we explore eight nonverbal message
categories including (1) kinesics, (2) paralinguistics, (3) proxemics, (4) haptics, (5)
olfactics, (6) artifacts and appearance, (7) color, and (8) chronemics. Though for
purposes of examination we will discuss each category separately, the meanings
stimulated by behavioral cues falling within these categories do not occur in isolation.
Instead, they interact with each other, whether reinforcing or diminishing the impact
of the perceived cues (see Table 2).
(2)
Messages are Sent by
Kinesics Facial expressions, gestures, eye movement, posture, rate of walk
Paralinguistics How words are spoken, variations in the voice
Proxemics How space and distance are used
Haptics Different types of touching
Clothing and artifacts Appearance, style
Colour Variations in clothing and environmental colors
Chronemics Using time to communicate

(c) Gaining Communication Competence in Non-verbal Communication

It is important to learn to use nonverbal messages to enhance your personal credibility,
likability, and attractiveness, and, at times, to establish dominance. By using
nonverbal cues appropriately, you can create a more favorable impression and aid in
the development of your relationships. If we are to enhance our abilities to develop

31
 effective interpersonal relationships, we need to be fully aware of the nonverbal
messages we send and receive.
By tuning in to nonverbal messages, we can enhance our awareness of how others
respond to us. Nonverbal communication is a ―relationship language.‖ It expresses
how we feel about one another. Even though it may be a challenge to interpret how
people really feel, if only because they may not want us to know, the key to
understanding people is to observe them in action and listen to the sound of their
voices as they interact with you. For example, when in your company, do other people
lean toward you or pull away? Face you directly or indicate a desire to avoid
interpersonal involvement by facing away from you? Do their facial expressions
suggest they are happy you are around, interested in pursuing a relationship, fearful to
approach you, or angry with you? Is their posture relaxed, indicating they feel
comfortable, or uptight, indicating that they feel you or the situation pose a threat?
What do their voices reveal? Do they speak in a friendly manner? Are they trying to
use their voices to hide what they are really feeling? Similarly, what does their use of
touch, space, and distance suggest about your relationship? What about their use of
clothing, color, and time? As you observe others, you pick up and interpret nonverbal
cues that reveal their attitudes and feelings.

X. The Affective Side of Communication

The Importance of being Assertive

Assertiveness is a vital communication and life skill. Learning how to be assertive can:
• increase people‘s confidence and self-esteem
• help gain the respect of others
• improve decision-making and problem-solving abilities
• enable people to handle conflict if it occurs.
Lack of assertiveness can affect relationships and quality of life because people end up not
getting what they want and have a right to expect.

What is assertiveness?
An assertive attitude says: ‘I matter and you do too.’

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Assertiveness is a way of relating to the outside world, backed up by specific oral
communication skills. To be truly assertive a person needs to see themselves as being of
worth and having a right to enjoy life. At the same time they value others equally and respect
their right to have an opinion and to enjoy themselves. Assertiveness is the ability to express
feelings, opinions, beliefs and needs directly, openly and honestly. It means doing this in a
way that does not violate other people‘s personal rights or humiliate them in any way.

Basic rights

Before someone can be assertive and comfortably express their opinions, needs and wishes
they must believe that they have a legitimate right to do so. This means that they must
believe:
• „I have the right to do anything which does not affect the rights of others.‟
• „I have the right to ask for what I want.‟
• „I have the right to my own values, beliefs and opinions.‟
• „I have the right to say I don‟t understand.‟
• „I have the right to tell others how I wish to be treated.‟
• „I have the right to make mistakes.‟
• „I have the right to change my mind.‟
• „I have the right to say “No”.‟
• „I have the right to like myself – even though I‟m not perfect.‟

Other ways of relating to others

There are two other main ways of relating to others: being passive or being aggressive.
Being passive means allowing the needs, opinions and judgments of others to become more
important than your own. People sometimes think that asserting their rights and needs means
being selfish, but this is not true.
Being aggressive means expressing your rights at the expense of others and not recognizing
that they have equal rights. Aggression can result from bottling up feelings which eventually
explode – leaving no space for communication.
Assertiveness is a path through the middle of these two extremes: neither overbearing nor
weedy, this attitude to communication is characterized by directness, clarity and firmness,
anchored in respect for others and for yourself.

How to be assertive

33
No one can become assertive overnight. Knowing what it is and how it can benefit us or
deciding to become more assertive is only the starting point. Becoming more assertive
involves changing behaviour patterns that have built up over years. It can be frightening the
first time we react differently to a situation – even something small like saying that you can‘t
work late can be daunting.

Body language

An important part of assertiveness is open, secure body language. Actually practicing

standing in an assertive way can make it much easier for people to be assertive. Passive body
language is the classic ‗victim‘ stance of hunched shoulders, avoiding eye contact. An
aggressive stance could involve clenched fists, pointing fingers, staring eyes or standing too
close to the other person‘s ‗comfort zone‘. Assertive people generally stand upright but in a
relaxed manner, looking people calmly in the eyes with an open posture.

Assertive behavior

There is still a lot of misunderstanding about what assertiveness actually is. Many people either
confuse the term with aggressiveness or think that it is only for quiet types who need to be more
outspoken. So it is worth running through what assertiveness really is and how it works.
There are three simple rules for assertive behaviour.
• Be direct – you can‘t expect others to read your mind or understand how you‘re feeling if you don‘t
tell them. Don‘t pad your statements out with excuses or apologies.
• Stay calm – don‘t allow yourself to become angry or feel bullied – remind yourself of your rights.
• Stick to your guns – if you are met with a refusal, or even abuse, repeat your statement or request
calmly until the other person understands.

Activity: How Assertive Are You?

Fill in this questionnaire to assess your current level of assertiveness.

Circle the response that most nearly describes what you would do in the situation described.
Then count up how many a’s, b’s and c’s you have scored.

1. You work with a. Let them carry on because you don‘t want to upset them and finish
someone who is really what you are doing after work?
chatty. They are b. Explain that you need to finish your work and ask that you finish
stopping you from the
finishing an important conversation another time?
piece of work. c. Tell the person to shut up and stop bothering you?
2. You have chosen to a. Feel annoyed and wait for someone else to say something?
sit b. Politely ask the smoker to move or put their cigarette out?
in the non-smoking c. Speak to the smoker loudly and rudely, saying that you will report
area of a pub, when them to the pub manager?
another customer
lights up a cigarette.

34
3. A helpful sales a. Buy something anyway so as not to hurt the assistant‘s feelings?
assistant has shown b. Thank them for being so helpful but decide not to buy anything
you every pair of shoes today?
in the c. Blame the shop for not stocking shoes that fi t your requirements?
shop in your size, but
there is still nothing
you really like.
4. Someone who is a. Pretend not to hear?
important to you is b. Say how upset you feel and ask them to stop?
being gossiped about c. Shout at them and put them all in their place?
nastily in a group of
friends.
5. A friend who’s a. Listen patiently wishing you could see the programme?
always b. Say it‘s not convenient right now but you‘ll ring back later?
telling you his/her c. Get annoyed, saying this is your precious free time, and asking
problems rings you him/her not to phone again?
up just as you are
settling down to
watch your favorite
TV programme.
6. Everyone at home a. Agree to clear up all the mess, but feel resentful and unfairly
blames you for making treated?
all the mess. b. Tell the family how you feel and get them to see that other people
make a mess too?
c. Lose your temper and refuse to clear up ever again?
7. Your elder brother a. Pretend not to hear?
makes an unkind joke b. Tell your boss that this upsets you and ask them to stop?
about you. c. Launch into a tirade about not being taken seriously?
8. A friend you see a. Tell them you would love to see them?
occasionally wants to b. Say it‘s not convenient this weekend and try to arrange it for
visit you when you are c. Let them know how annoyed you are to be bothered when you are
really busy. so busy?

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