The Four Agreements Lesson Resource

Intended for Grades: 6-8 Estimated Time: 45-60 min.
Lesson Title: THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

Lesson Purpose: Students will:
* Learn about personal agreements we make that help shape who we are
* Relate ‘Ōlelo No’eau on the power of words to the Four Agreements
* Use the “The Four Agreements” to practice pono communication skills
Materials & Preparation:

* Four Agreements handout (See below)
* Swimmer picture (See below; projected or hard copies - 1 per group)
* Pens to take notes about scenarios
* Optional: Student Handout (See Lesson Resource)
* Consider preplanning groups
Background Information:
This lesson is based on the teachings of the Toltec people as shared by Don
Miguel Ruiz. Toltec philosophy provides four agreements that can help people make
positive choices in what they think, say, and do.
In the book The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz shares his belief that many
children are trained with a system of punishment and reward, which he calls
domestication. We are told, “You’re a good boy” or “You’re a good girl” when we do
what Mom and Dad wants us to do. When we don’t, we are a “bad girl” or a “bad boy”.
People develop the desire to avoid punishment and crave external reward, and
so we continue independently to work toward what we perceive is right, based on the
views of our parents, religion, culture, friends, the media, teachers, society, and more.
Ruiz states that this belief system is usually created without our conscious
control, and that it can become a discrepancy with who we really are. Ruiz calls these
personal beliefs and agreements our own personal ‘Book of Law’, which becomes what
we base our truth upon.
This author explains, “Whatever goes against (your own) ‘Book of Law’ will make
you feel a funny sensation in your solar plexus, and it’s called fear. Any challenges to
what you believe are going to make you feel unsafe. Even if the ‘Book of Law’ is wrong,
it makes you feel safe,” Ruiz explains.
The Four Agreements that don Miguel Ruiz shares can help individuals improve
their ability to accept themselves as well as others. Participants can learn to
communicate with positive results each day. Background information about Toltec
philosophy and tradition is not necessary to adopt these Four Agreements.
Steps:
1. Create small teams of 4-6 and have groups sit together. Introduce that they are
going to work together on positive communication skills.
2. Share the following ‘Ōlelo No’eau and ask students what they think this means:
I ka 'ōlelo no ke ola, I ka 'ōlelo no ka make.
In speech is life, In speech is death.
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Discuss whether students think this Ōlelo No’eau still holds true today, and why they
think what they do. Share your own understanding (personal to global examples) of
how words can hold positive or negative power over people.
3. Tell students that groups will be working on positive communication skills as they
create a scenario about someone.
4. Show “The Swimmer” picture (project image below or share some printed copies).
Discuss how we read body language of other people. Question prompts can include:
*What is his body expressing? (Take multiple interpretations)
*Can we really know how he feels by just looking?
Discuss that our guesses are only assumptions based on what we observe.
5. Ask students to imagine that this person is either a close friend or family member,
and they want to help him move from feeling like he currently is to feeling better.
6. Tell groups that to help them communicate in a pono and helpful way, they are asked
to follow these four agreements. Share overhead (below) or the student handout (see
lesson resource) and discuss each of the four agreements to clarify what they mean:
a. Be impeccable with your words. (Impeccable = perfect; being pono with words)
b. Don’t take things personally. (What we think and feel is all about us, not others.)
c. Don’t make assumptions. (Thinking your guess is right can cause problems.)
d. Do your best. (Your best varies, depending on how you feel (well or sick, etc.)
7. Instruct groups that:

* They are to figure out what they would do and what they would say to this person
* They have 5-8 minutes to plan this out
* Each group will present their scenario in 1-2 min.
* They can talk about what they would do or act it out
8. Facilitate group sharing. Debrief presentations as time allows and discuss reflection
questions.
9. Students can take home optional Student Handouts or save them for future
reference. Revisit these agreements when the timing is appropriate.
Reflection Questions:
- What was the most important information you learned from today’s lesson?
- How can you use this information in the future?
Resources:
http://www.miguelruiz.com/ - further information from this Toltec teacher
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THE SWIMMER
An image by MARTIN CHARLOT
(Reprinted with his permission)
Found in John Charlot’s book “Chanting the Universe”
3
The Four Agreements
By don Miguel Ruiz
1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Speak with integrity and say only what you mean. Avoid using
words against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power
of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is
a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to actions
and opinions of others, you won’t become a victim.
3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really
want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid
misunderstandings, drama, and sadness. With just this one
agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be
different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any
circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid regret and
self-judgment.
4
The Four Agreements
by don Miguel Ruiz The Power of the Word
1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you
mean. Avoid using the word to speak
against yourself or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word in the direction
of truth and love.
I ka 'ōlelo no ke ola,
I ka 'ōlelo no ka make.
2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What Translation:
others say and do is because of their own
reality and perceptions. When you are In speech is life,
immune to the opinions and actions of In speech is death.
others, you won’t be the victim of needless
suffering. ‘Ōlelo No’eau Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings
Mary Kawena Pukui
3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to
express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you
can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness,
and drama. With just this one agreement, This wise saying tells people that
you can completely transform your life. words can either be a source of healing
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
or a source of destruction and pain.
Your best is going to change from moment
to moment; it will be different when you are We need to be
healthy as opposed to sick. Under any careful with our words.
circumstance, simply do your best, and you
will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and -------------------------------
regret.
How To Help?
-----------------------------
Imagine you are the Swimmer’s friend or
family. His body language makes you
think something is wrong. You care and
want to help.
• Create a scenario describing what you
might do when you see him.
* Use the Four Agreements to help
communicate well. (Be pono with words;
don’t guess; know it’s not about you,
and do your best.)
• Plan to share your ideas by talking
about or acting out what you would do.
The Swimmer
by Martin Charlot

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Intended for Grades: 6-8 Estimated Time: 45-60 min.

Lesson Title: THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

Materials & Preparation:

7. Instruct groups that:

1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

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