Eveline
Eveline
Eveline
SHE sat at the window watching the evening invade the avenue. Her head was leaned against the
window curtains and in her nostrils was the odour of dusty cretonne. She was tired.
Few people passed. The man out of the last house passed on his way home; she heard his
footsteps clacking along the concrete pavement and afterwards crunching on the cinder path
before the new red houses. One time there used to be a field there in which they used to play
every evening with other people’s children. Then a man from Belfast bought the field and built
houses in it — not like their little brown houses but bright brick houses with shining roofs. The
children of the avenue used to play together in that field — the Devines, the Waters, the Dunns,
little Keogh the cripple, she and her brothers and sisters. Ernest, however, never played: he was
too grown up. Her father used often to hunt them in out of the field with his blackthorn stick; but
usually little Keogh used to keep nix and call out when he saw her father coming. Still they
seemed to have been rather happy then. Her father was not so bad then; and besides, her mother
was alive. That was a long time ago; she and her brothers and sisters were all grown up her
mother was dead. Tizzie Dunn was dead, too, and the Waters had gone back to England.
Everything changes. Now she was going to go away like the others, to leave her home.
Home! She looked round the room, reviewing all its familiar objects which she had dusted once
a week for so many years, wondering where on earth all the dust came from. Perhaps she would
never see again those familiar objects from which she had never dreamed of being divided. And
yet during all those years she had never found out the name of the priest whose yellowing
photograph hung on the wall above the broken harmonium beside the coloured print of the
promises made to Blessed Margaret Mary Alacoque. He had been a school friend of her father.
Whenever he showed the photograph to a visitor her father used to pass it with a casual word:
She had consented to go away, to leave her home. Was that wise? She tried to weigh each side of
the question. In her home anyway she had shelter and food; she had those whom she had known
all her life about her. O course she had to work hard, both in the house and at business. What
would they say of her in the Stores when they found out that she had run away with a fellow?
Say she was a fool, perhaps; and her place would be filled up by advertisement. Miss Gavan
would be glad. She had always had an edge on her, especially whenever there were people
listening.
But in her new home, in a distant unknown country, it would not be like that. Then she would be
married — she, Eveline. People would treat her with respect then. She would not be treated as
her mother had been. Even now, though she was over nineteen, she sometimes felt herself in
danger of her father’s violence. She knew it was that that had given her the palpitations. When
they were growing up he had never gone for her like he used to go for Harry and Ernest, because
she was a girl but latterly he had begun to threaten her and say what he would do to her only for
her dead mother’s sake. And no she had nobody to protect her. Ernest was dead and Harry, who
was in the church decorating business, was nearly always down somewhere in the country.
Besides, the invariable squabble for money on Saturday nights had begun to weary her
unspeakably. She always gave her entire wages — seven shillings — and Harry always sent up
what he could but the trouble was to get any money from her father. He said she used to
squander the money, that she had no head, that he wasn’t going to give her his hard-earned
money to throw about the streets, and much more, for he was usually fairly bad on Saturday
night. In the end he would give her the money and ask her had she any intention of buying
Sunday’s dinner. Then she had to rush out as quickly as she could and do her marketing, holding
her black leather purse tightly in her hand as she elbowed her way through the crowds and
returning home late under her load of provisions. She had hard work to keep the house together
and to see that the two young children who had been left to hr charge went to school regularly
and got their meals regularly. It was hard work — a hard life — but now that she was about to
leave it she did not find it a wholly undesirable life.
She was about to explore another life with Frank. Frank was very kind, manly, open-hearted. She
was to go away with him by the night-boat to be his wife and to live with him in Buenos Ayres
where he had a home waiting for her. How well she remembered the first time she had seen him;
he was lodging in a house on the main road where she used to visit. It seemed a few weeks ago.
He was standing at the gate, his peaked cap pushed back on his head and his hair tumbled
forward over a face of bronze. Then they had come to know each other. He used to meet her
outside the Stores every evening and see her home. He took her to see The Bohemian Girl and
she felt elated as she sat in an unaccustomed part of the theatre with him. He was awfully fond of
music and sang a little. People knew that they were courting and, when he sang about the lass
that loves a sailor, she always felt pleasantly confused. He used to call her Poppens out of fun.
First of all it had been an excitement for her to have a fellow and then she had begun to like him.
He had tales of distant countries. He had started as a deck boy at a pound a month on a ship of
the Allan Line going out to Canada. He told her the names of the ships he had been on and the
names of the different services. He had sailed through the Straits of Magellan and he told her
stories of the terrible Patagonians. He had fallen on his feet in Buenos Ayres, he said, and had
come over to the old country just for a holiday. Of course, her father had found out the affair and
had forbidden her to have anything to say to him.
One day he had quarrelled with Frank and after that she had to meet her lover secretly.
The evening deepened in the avenue. The white of two letters in her lap grew indistinct. One was
to Harry; the other was to her father. Ernest had been her favourite but she liked Harry too. Her
father was becoming old lately, she noticed; he would miss her. Sometimes he could be very
nice. Not long before, when she had been laid up for a day, he had read her out a ghost story and
made toast for her at the fire. Another day, when their mother was alive, they had all gone for a
picnic to the Hill of Howth. She remembered her father putting on her mothers bonnet to make
the children laugh.
Her time was running out but she continued to sit by the window, leaning her head against the
window curtain, inhaling the odour of dusty cretonne. Down far in the avenue she could hear a
street organ playing. She knew the air Strange that it should come that very night to remind her
of the promise to her mother, her promise to keep the home together as long as she could. She
remembered the last night of her mother’s illness; she was again in the close dark room at the
other side of the hall and outside she heard a melancholy air of Italy. The organ-player had been
ordered to go away and given sixpence. She remembered her father strutting back into the
sickroom saying:
As she mused the pitiful vision of her mother’s life laid its spell on the very quick of her being
— that life of commonplace sacrifices closing in final craziness. She trembled as she heard again
her mother’s voice saying constantly with foolish insistence:
She stood up in a sudden impulse of terror. Escape! She must escape! Frank would save her. He
would give her life, perhaps love, too. But she wanted to live. Why should she be unhappy? She
had a right to happiness. Frank would take her in his arms, fold her in his arms. He would save
her.
She stood among the swaying crowd in the station at the North Wall. He held her hand and she
knew that he was speaking to her, saying something about the passage over and over again. The
station was full of soldiers with brown baggages. Through the wide doors of the sheds she caught
a glimpse of the black mass of the boat, lying in beside the quay wall, with illumined portholes.
She answered nothing. She felt her cheek pale and cold and, out of a maze of distress, she prayed
to God to direct her, to show her what was her duty. The boat blew a long mournful whistle into
the mist. If she went, tomorrow she would be on the sea with Frank, steaming towards Buenos
Ayres. Their passage had been booked. Could she still draw back after all he had done for her?
Her distress awoke a nausea in her body and she kept moving her lips in silent fervent prayer.
A bell clanged upon her heart. She felt him seize her hand:
“Come!”
All the seas of the world tumbled about her heart. He was drawing her into them: he would
drown her. She gripped with both hands at the iron railing.
“Come!”
No! No! No! It was impossible. Her hands clutched the iron in frenzy. Amid the seas she sent a
cry of anguish.
“Eveline! Evvy!”
He rushed beyond the barrier and called to her to follow. He was shouted at to go on but he still
called to her. She set her white face to him, passive, like a helpless animal. Her eyes gave him no
sign of love or farewell or recognition.