Grade 12 Lo Notes

INITIATING, BUILDING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
DATE: 2 FEBRUARY 2024

Positive communication leads to positive relationships. Our ability to communicate with
others will determine the success of our relationships with them Communication is about
understanding others and communicating our feelings, beliefs and attitudes to them.
How do I initiate, (begin) keep friends and build the relationships?
Initiate relationships: You will be in a new place next year. You might not know
anybody. So it will be up to you to start new friendships. A good way to break the ice when
you meet new people is to make sure you hear their names. Ask them about their names or
what they mean. Then ask them a little about themselves because people do like to talk about
themselves.
• You can also start a conversation by talking about neutral subjects if the person is
shy. Try to remember the name of the person, so the next time you see them, they
feel special because you remembered them.
• Be willing to share a little about yourself, but don’t talk about yourself all the time.
Avoid boasting or showing off. People don’t like braggers.
• Keep up to date with the latest news and topics that people are discussing. If people
find you are informed and interesting, they will enjoy talking to you.
Characteristics and skills of positive relationships:Good relationships help us

throughout tough times in our lives. Forming and maintaining good relationships doesn’t
come easy. You have to look for some qualities and skills and characteristics in the
person with whom you are forming a relationship. What are they?
• Skills needed by good • Ability to communicate

communicator • Ability to listen
• Sympathetic
• Not expecting all to have the same
view as you
• Characteristics and qualities • Ability to give and take

• Unselfish
• Mutual respect
• Tolerant
• Caring/Supporting
• Respect for others and the work
they do
• Can work in a team
• Understanding how others think
• Ability to be yourself
Build and sustain positive relationships with good communication and
listening skills.
In relationships good communication helps to build good relationships. There are some
good and not so good ways of communication with people.
Effective communication Ineffective ways to communicate

Listen attentively and show empathy Not listening to the other person
Listen without judging Interrupt the other person

Understand before your respond Being judge mental and jumping to
conclusions
Speaking clearly without being emotional Being emotional and overreacting
Understanding the feeling of the other Sarcastic responses or defensive
person behaviour
Show with your body that you are listening Fold your arms and turn away and look
e.g. nod your head to show you listen or around when the person is talking
agree
Build and sustain positive relationships: communicate your feelings, beliefs

and attitudes.
There are different factors that can affect how well we communicate. Your feelings, what
you believe and your attitude are all part of who you are. If you communicate your feelings
and show your humanity, then people can understand you better.
Your beliefs are part of who you are, and it is important to express them. It is important that
you are free to communicate these aspects. However, never hold and express beliefs and
attitudes that go against our constitutional values. Express your feelings, beliefs and
attitudes, but avoid imposing or forcing them on others. Every person is entitled to have his
or her own views.
Factors that influence effective communication:
 Personality: The way you act, behave, and react and your attitudes all form part of
your personality. Remember that we all act in a certain way in a certain situation.
Sometimes a shy person is seen as boring and uninteresting until you get to know him or
her. Other people are extraverts and they might intimidate you with their way of
communication. Other people hide behind their “weaknesses” by seeking attention all
the time and they need to be the centre of attention.Your own personality will determine
whether you are attracted of put off by the other persons way of communicating.
 Attitudes and values: If you have an attitude (you think and act) that you are better
than others, if will affect communication. If you think that only your ideas, beliefs and
values are right and you do not show respect, you will not be a good
listener and you will not allow others to freely express their views. This
will block communication between you and other people and can lead to
conflict.
 Acceptance of responsibilities: Responsibility means you are

accountable, do your duty and take responsibility for your actions. You
can be trusted to do a job, because you take responsibility. If you make a
mistake, you don’t try to shift responsibility to somebody or something
else. Effective communication can only t happen where there is trust,
reliability and responsibility. Friendship comes with responsibilities.
 Appropriate expression of views and feelings: Appropriate
expression of views and feelings mean that you say what you think and
feel, but in a way that does not hurt or offend others.
 Respect the feelings of others: When you show respect for
the feeling of others, they will show respect for you and your
feelings.
DATE: 7 FEBRUARY 2024
ADAPTING TO CHANGE
As humans, we are able to adjust in constantly moving environments, but it sure takes
time and effort. Every individual experience shapes how one adapts in a new
environment and overcomes the stress related to the adjusting period
1. Euphoria or “honeymoon”. In this phase, the person feels positive and
excited about the new environment, and has high expectations for the future.
This is experienced by a person who has wanted to go to a new cultural space,
and coming to university is usually just such a free choice.
2. Disappointment or culture shock. The first difficulties and crises. The new
situation may not fully meet expectations; one may not succeed in building relationships
and is confused by having to manage large amounts of information and new rules of
conduct. This leads to dissatisfaction, impatience, anger, sadness, feelings of loneliness
and incompetence, etc.
3. Acceptance of, getting used to, learning from the new

situation. Gradually, one develops an understanding of the rules and norms; is no
longer afraid to experiment; is more social and open again; the sense of humour re-
appears and a certain psychological balance emerges.
4. Adjustment or integration with the new culture. One feels confident in the
new environment and copes well; the sense of belonging has increased. Self-definition is
clarified and the person acts purposefully.
5. Reverse culture shock may occur on returning to one’s home culture (or city).
One may find that things or people have changed, or they themselves have changed to
an extent that they no longer adapt to their former life environment.
Hereby, it is important to emphasize that adjustment stages are used mostly in a
cultural context where one leaves a home country (city) and starts a new phase in a new
culture. Nevertheless, these phases can also be applied to university life.

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INITIATING, BUILDING AND SUSTAINING RELATIONSHIPS

DATE: 2 FEBRUARY 2024

How do I initiate, (begin) keep friends and build the relationships?

Characteristics and skills of positive relationships:Good relationships help us

• Skills needed by good • Ability to communicate

• Characteristics and qualities • Ability to give and take

Effective communication Ineffective ways to communicate

Listen without judging Interrupt the other person

Build and sustain positive relationships: communicate your feelings, beliefs

Factors that influence effective communication:

 Acceptance of responsibilities: Responsibility means you are

DATE: 7 FEBRUARY 2024

3. Acceptance of, getting used to, learning from the new

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