Developing

Soft Skills and Personality

Week 1
Module 1
Lecture 1
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
 LEARNING

????

What does learning mean to you?

 Cramming of text books?

Mindless reproduction of memorised

ideas?

Getting something on paper?

Showing off somebody the certificates,

degrees and medals accumulated?

Learning? Is it mere increase of knowledge?

Ability to memorise and reproduce?

Does it mean . . .
Gather facts and store it for future use

Search for meaning?

Understand reality and know how to

interpret it correctly?
Real learning actually means . . .
This means:
All learning is not done by reading books
Most leaning is done outside the classrooms
Much depends on our interaction with the
environment (class room, friends, enemies,
books, movies, nature, etc.)
In whatever way one learns, if it does not
result in behaviour modification,
it is not learnt at all!
 At its best,
it will provide you
with a conducive
environment for
learning

What can this

course do to YOU?
 It could change your life, revolutionise
your thinking, alter your perspective,
develop your career, enrich your
personal relationships, enhance your
happiness quotient . . .
What can this
BUT .. . IF ONLY . . .
course do to
you?
But . . .
Only if . . .

Only if . . . you WANT to change, the

course can change you!
You need to desire change
To desire change, you need to believe that you can change;

To change your belief, you need to have faith in the course

If you start believing that the course can help you make positive change in your
behaviour and have faith in the instructor, then--

You will start modifying your thoughts; and do lots of unlearning and relearning

You will use good words, which guide your positive actions,

Soon you will develop healthy habits, which will get reinforced in your
character, and determine your destiny!
Tips for gaining maximum
benefit out of this course
Preparing to Learn: Normal and Fuzzy Modes

Normal: Download the videos as when it is posted in NPTEL Site.

Have them on your lap top, desk top, mobile, wherever possible.

Fuzzy: Download at least a day before the quiz or assignment !

Normal: Schedule an hour each day for learning the course. Choose a calm
environment. As you watch the videos, listen carefully and keep a notebook for
taking notes. Reflect on them before you sleep. Discuss with friends.

Fuzzy: Watch the videos wherever it is possible for you. On your bed,
inside the bus, while in restroom, while eating . . . But make it a point to
finish the lessons before the weekly quiz. Jot down some points!
Moving Ahead . . .

Whether you want the Certificate or not . . .

Sincerely attempt all quizzes, assignments and the final exam (this will help you
assess your learning progress)

The learning has to be experiential if you really want to have the behavioural
change in you. This means—

You need to be honest with yourself. You may have group discussions on concept
clarity. But while answering the quizzes, rely on your own insights gained from the
course.
Assessment

As we assess your learning progress, you may assess your personal progress.

Ensure that each day, after learning each lesson, you will adapt to the new
changes indicated. Practice the activities suggested for developing soft skills. Each
week, seek to improve your personality!
 Approaches to teaching soft skills

Others: External factors; physical changes

My approach: Aims at intrinsic factors and overall development of personality

Changes that affect at all levels:

Physical

Mental

Emotional

Psychological

Cultural

Spiritual
Developing Soft Skills and Personality
(Personal and Professional Skills)

Enhancing Soft Skills and Personality

(Interpersonal and Management Skills)
 8 Weeks: 6 Modules (25 mins) in a Week (48 modules—20 hours)

Self-Assessment; Identifying Strength & Limitations; Habits, Will-Power and Drives;

Developing Self-Esteem and Building Self-Confidence, Significance of Self-Discipline
Understanding Perceptions, Attitudes, and Personality Types
Mind-Set: Growth and Fixed; Values and Beliefs
Motivation and Achieving Excellence; Self-Actualisation Need
Goal Setting, Life and Career Planning; Constructive Thinking
Communicating Clearly: Understanding and Overcoming barriers
Active Listening; Persuasive Speaking and Presentation Skills
Conducting Meetings, Writing Minutes, Sending Memos and Notices
Netiquette: Effective E-mail Communication; Telephone Etiquette
Body Language in Group Discussion and Interview
May your journey of
self-discovery begin . . .
 Developing
Soft Skills and Personality
Week 1
Module 2
Lecture 2
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
If God
grants you
one wish
that would  Money
make you  Intelligence

happy and  Knowledge

peaceful  Good looks

forever,  Beautiful/handsome life

partner
what
should you
ask Him?
  It will bring you everything that you need to live a happy and
peaceful life!
 Soft Skills are People Skills
 Remember: It’s the people around you who are going to
You should ask contribute to your success or failure.
Him for  80% of your happiness and peace depends on the life or business
partner with whom you spend your maximum time with!
Soft Skills!  It’s important that you know how to interact with them to bring
harmony and peace in your life!
 Before you learn how to make them give what you want, you need
to know what you really want in this life?!
A Story to begin with . . .
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
Now think deeply.
What would you like each of these speakers to say
about you and your life?
What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would
you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or
daughter or cousin? What kind of friend?
What kind of working associate?
What character would you like them to have seen in
you?
What contributions, what achievements would you
want them to remember ? Look carefully at the people
around you.
What difference would you like to have made in their
Steve Jobs Commencement Address

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever
encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything —
all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these
things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the
trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no
reason not to follow your heart.
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And
yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be,
because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It
clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too
long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so
dramatic, but it is quite true.

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying
we’ve done something wonderful... that’s what matters to me.
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do
what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If
you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle.

You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This
approach has never let me down...
 How do you conceptualise the End
One obvious meaning is DEATH

Which means we have to ascertain our purpose, meaning, and mission in life and
live a fruitful life before death catches us unawares.

Other possible ways in which we can interpret END:

End of this video; the course; your career at your college; new career at another
place; new job; end of a job; new position; promotion; higher post; change in
areas/fields, etc.

End of the day; week; month; year; 5 years; 10 years; 15 years; 25 years; lifetime

Plans ahead and set your goals and objectives.

Do things that will have a meaning and make a difference in your life.
 Answer these questions . . .

What have you planned to do at the end of this course?

What will you be doing at the end of your degree and graduation?

Where will you be after 5 years; 10 years; 15 years; 25 years?

What is your lifetime mission?

How would you like to visualize it by breaking into small and achievable parts?

What would you finally be as a self-actualized individual?

 Developing
Soft Skills and Personality
Week 1
Module 3
Lecture 3
Professor T. Ravichandran

Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur

  Soft skills are people skills  In fact, you should have a
clear sense of purpose and
 Your association and interaction vision based on which you
with people contribute to success make your mission
or failure in your life. statement!
 8o% of your happiness quotient is  To be clearly purpose
determined by your life partner or oriented, you need to begin
Highlights boss—to whom you spend your
maximum time with.
with the end in mind.
of the  So you need to work on your soft
 Each day you need to begin
a task with the result in
Last Lecture skills and develop your
personality to achieve what you
mind.
want in your life.  You should stop doing any
task that will not add any
 BUT : You need to be sure of what value to your life and
you want in your life. development of your
personality.
Did you watch Steve Job’s
Commencement Address?
Perceptual Difference
Perceptual Differences . . .
When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only
response is that I am thankful I have a cup.

~ Sam Lefkowitz

One day, someone showed me a glass of water that was

half full. And he said, Is it half full or half empty? So I
drank the water. No more problem.

~ Alexander Jodorowsky

Remember your glass is half full not half empty, live life
to the max and remember that no matter how bad your
day is someone’s day is worse.

An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the

pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the
glass is twice the size it needs to be.

~ Oscar Wilde

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. Be

thankful that you have a glass and grateful that there's
something in it.
Optical Illusions

This is definitely one of the best-known optical illusions of all times! What do
you see at first glance - an old woman or a young miss? They are both there!
 Whole family mind teaser –
father with mother and daughter
 An old couple –
see profiles of faces –
is remembering the times when they were young
and full of life - see the sitting characters
Rabbit and Duck
Moving Circles
Looking at the things from other’s perspective
e.g. Steven Covey’s paradigm shift
(New York subway car)
 Don’t be guided by prejudice!!

Seek first to understand, then to be understood!

-Stephen R. Covey

5th Habit
 Developing
Soft Skills and Personality
Week 1
Module 4
Lecture 4
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
  Human perceptions determine
proper understanding in
relationships.
 Do not be satisfied with
 Perceptions are bound to be doing the minimum
different; often contradictory! required learning for this
Highlights  Don’t be guided by prejudice. course.
 Before showing your anger on  Learn eagerly from the
of the somebody’s annoying behaviour extra materials suggested
Last Lecture find out what makes the person
to behave so.
 such as Steven Covey’s 7
Habits of Highly Effective
 Seek first to understand and then People and Steve Jobs’
to be understood (Steven Covey)! Commencement Address.
Have I taught you some soft skills
so far?
Have you learnt any soft skills so
far?
If yes, what are they?
Self-Management, Emotion Regulation &
Time-Management Skills
■ Implicitly I taught you in the 1 Module: Preparing and Planning
■ In the 2nd Module: Self-awareness with regard to having a clear sense of purpose
■ Thinking about the end-result before beginning a new task
■ This helps in knowing your priorities
■ Identifying high-value and low-value and no-value tasks
■ Committing to do only high-value tasks
■ Using will-power and perseverance to complete the tasks in time
■ Understanding perceptual differences
■ Empathising with others
Self-Awareness
Self- Self-Confidence
Management
Are you confident all the time? When are you over-confident?
Skills Set When do you lack in confidence? Do you believe in you that you
have strength and power within you to achieve anything?

Mind-Set
Do you have a positive or negative mind-set? Is
your mind always looks at problems or comes out
with solutions to problems? Do you have a rigid,
fixed mind set, or a flexible and growth mind-set?
Is your mind looking for opportunity to learn and
grow even in difficult situations? Or, it indulges in
complaining and blaming others?
Emotional Balance
Self- Handling Stress
Management Do you remain cool, calm and collected in any situations? Are
you strained when you interact with people at personal and
Skills Set professional levels? Do you know how to come out of a stressful
situation? Are you aware that the less stressful you are the
more productive you will be?

Coping with Failure

Do you have the resilience to bounce back after a set-
back? Do you have the persistence and perseverance to
continue with your plan despite obstacles and oppositions?
Do you have the will-power and determination to work
with the same energy till your mission is accomplished?
Patience, Tolerance &
Trustworthiness Perceptiveness
Self-
Do you have the wisdom to Management
Do you pay attention to the unspoken acts of communication?
remain calm when others Do you feel that often people say something but they don’t mean
rush? Can you patiently Skills Set it, or mean exactly the opposite? Is your mind open while
wait for the appropriate listening to controversial ideas? Do you understand people
correctly?
time to initiate action?
Do you have a high level of
tolerance? Are you
intolerant of people whose
qualities annoy you? Spiritual Intelligence
Can people trust you? Are Do you raise your life to a higher spiritual level? Do
you responsible and people look up to as their role models? Do you have the
committed? Do you speak
the truth or occasionally instinct in you to change the world and make it a better
tell lies? Do you have good place? Do you transcend the mundane pettiness and live
standards of honesty and your noble self that is creative, loving, selfless, calm,
integrity? Do you act
ethically? compassionate, courageous and exemplary?
 When you develop your
emotional intelligence and live with
high spiritual intelligence,
your life will be so clear and transparent
that even if anyone speaks badly of you
no one would believe it!
 Developing
Soft Skills and Personality
Week 1
Module 5
Lecture 5
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
  Self-Management Skills Set
 1. Self-Awareness
 2. Self-Confidence
 3. Mind-Set
 Implicit Soft Skills taught:
Highlights  Self-Management
 4. Emotional Balance
 5. Stress Handling
of the  Emotion Regulation
 6. Coping with Failure
Last Lecture  Time-Management Skills
 7. Patience, Tolerance &
Trustworthiness
 8. Perceptiveness
 9. Spiritual Intelligence
  Excellence is an outstanding  If you want to excel in
feature; possessing good something, what do you
qualities in high degree. need? Do you have it in you?
 Some are gifted with many  Identify 5 traits in you that
talents and excel in many will certainly take you to
fields. excellence such as: Focused,
strong will-power, highly
Towards  Are you confident that you determined, very optimistic,
dedicated, punctual, etc.
are excellent in any one
Excellence aspect of your life or career?  Are there other traits pulling
you down from achieving
 How do you rate yourself? excellence?
How do people rate you?
Poor, Average, Above  Laziness, postponement,
Average, Good, Very Good, addictions (drug, TV,
Outstanding/Excellent? internet), low self-esteem,
self-doubts, negative
thinking, etc.
 Stronger Weaker

Law of Abundance Poverty of Mind

Courage
Risk Inner Fear
Restrictive
Confidence
Faith/Trust
Core Low Self-Esteem
Suspicion/Doubt

Optimism Pessimism
Growth mind-set Fixed Mind-Set
Learns from failure Depressed from failure
Expects the best Expects the worst
Processing Excellence
Kaizen
Continuous improvement
• Knowing your • Moving Forward
Potential • Identify your • Enhanced Vision
• Creating a Vision Mission • Need-
• Achieving your Achievement
Kaikaku
Vision
Self-Actualisation
(radical change)
Growth Maslow’s Hierarchy
Needs of Motivations

Emotional
Needs

Basic Needs
 Self-reliant and independent
Self-Actualisation Uses own experiences for
Highest level of need for personal judgment
growth & self-fulfilment
Natural and spontaneous
Realization and fulfilment of one’s
Continued freshness of
talents and potentialities
appreciation
To actualise what one is
Maintain deep loving bonds
potentially
Comfortable with solitude
Expression of one’s creativity
They can laugh at themselves
Efficient perceptions of reality.
Humble
Comfortable acceptance of self
and others Have peak experiences

Spiritual enlightenment
 “A musician must make music,
an artist must paint,
a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with
himself. What a man can be, he must be”

- Abraham H. Maslow
Less than 1% of adults achieve "self-actualisation...rarely
total self-actualization
happens...certainly in less than 1%
of the adult population.“
The fact that "most of us function
most of the time on a level lower than
that of self-actualization" is “the
psychopathology of normality.”
(Towards a Psychology of Being)
 Developing
Soft Skills and Personality
Week 1
Module 6
Lecture 6
Professor T. Ravichandran
Department of Humanities and Social Sciences, IIT Kanpur
  Processing Excellence:
 Towards Excellence:  Making radical changes and
making constant improvement
 Outstanding feature, possessing
 Moving from one vision/mission
good qualities of high degree to other enhanced
 Rating by self and others vision/mission
 Self-actualisation: highest level
 Identifying potentiality for of growth need
Highlights excellence
 Actualising of one’s potential,
 Pursuing excellence by uniqueness and seeking self-
of the strengthening the inner core fulfilment
Last Lecture  Law of abundance vs. poverty of  Although few people achieve
self-actualisation fully, it is
mind important to aspire for it as the
 Choices made out of fear unrealised and actualised people
followed by regret vs. the ones remain unhappy throughout
their lives!
made out of courage and ends in
fulfilment.
David McClelland, The Achieving Society
Desire to
Control
Desire to establish &
Influence
maintain good
relations with other The desire to
people
do something
better,
to solve
Three Needs problems,
or to master
complex
tasks.
achievement motivation (n-ach)
authority/power motivation (n-pow)
affiliation motivation (n-affil)
 A desire to do well for the sake of an inner
feeling of personal accomplishment.
A desire to excel. To achieve a goal in relation
to a set of standards.

Strong need to set and accomplish challenging goals

Willing to take calculated risks
Optimistic and seeks feedback for constant improvement
Always finds ways for doing things better
Can work alone
Achievement is more important than material reward
Achievement gives greater personal satisfaction
Maintains high standards
Persists for longer
Takes responsibility for own actions
Intrinsically motivated
 Spiritual
Quotient
Emotional
Quotient
Intelligent
Quotient
Physical Quotient
Danah Zohar SQ: Connecting with Our Spiritual Intelligence, London: Bloomsbury, 2000
Defined 12 principles underlying spiritual intelligence:

Self-awareness:
Knowing what I believe in and value, and what deeply motivates me.
Spontaneity:
Living in and being responsive to the moment.
Being vision- and value-led:
Acting from principles and deep beliefs, and living accordingly.
Holism: Seeing larger patterns, relationships, and connections;
having a sense of belonging.
Compassion: Having the quality of "feeling-with" and deep empathy.
Celebration of diversity:
Valuing other people for their differences, not despite
them.
Danah Zohar SQ: Connecting with Our Spiritual Intelligence, London: Bloomsbury, 2000
Defined 12 principles underlying spiritual intelligence:

Field independence:
Standing against the crowd and having one's own convictions.
Humility:
Having the sense of being a player in a larger drama, of one's true place
in the world.
Tendency to ask fundamental "Why?" questions:
Needing to understand things and get to the bottom of them.
Ability to reframe: Standing back from a situation or problem and
seeing the bigger picture or wider context.
Positive use of adversity:
Learning and growing from mistakes, setbacks, and suffering.
Sense of vocation:
Feeling called upon to serve, to give something back.
I now see spiritual intelligence as emerging
from our most basic and primary need for
and experience of deep meaning, essential
purpose, and our most significant values and
how these lead to a deeper, wiser, more
questioning life and affect our decisions
and experience.
To become better, deeper, more spiritually intelligent
people, we have to grow a dimension of our being that
is sensitive to the deepest meanings of human life—a
sensitivity, if you like, to Plato’s famous triad of
values: Goodness, Truth, and Beauty.
We must live our lives as a vocation, as a calling to the
service of those deepest values. To do that, we must
act from the higher motivations that can drive human
behavior. This is a long-term project, requiring
tenacity and commitment.
- Danah Zohar Spiritual Capital