Created by ISMC Sisters Circle 29/05/12 TRUE OR FALSE

1. Intercourse is permitted during the womans menstruation (period) provided you get her permission. False.
And if they ask you about menstruation, say: 'It is an illness, so let women alone during menstruation, and do not go near them until they are cleansed; and when they have purified themselves, then go into them as Allah has commanded you. Surely Allah loves those who turn to Him, and He loves those who purify themselves. (Quran 2.222). Because of the general un-cleanliness and potential diseases it is prohibited, during this time a woman also goes through pain and is uncomfortable.

2. Intercourse during the month of Ramadan is prohibited. Depends on the time.

Firstly: Intercourse during the day in Ramadaan is haraam for men and women alike, who are obliged to fast during the day. Doing that is a sin for which expiation (kafaarah) must be offered. The kafaarah is to free a slave; if that is not possible then the person must fast for two consecutive months; whoever is not able to do that must feed sixty poor persons. It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Whilst we were sitting with the Prophet (saw), a man came to him and said, O Messenger of Allah, I am doomed! He said, What happened? He said, I had intercourse with my wife when I was fasting [in Ramadaan]. The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, Are you able to free a slave? He said, No. He said, Are you able to fast for two consecutive months? He said, No. He said, Can you feed sixty poor persons? He said, No. Then the Prophet (saw) remained silent for a while, and whilst we were like that, a large vessel of dates was brought to the Prophet (saw), and he said, Where is the one who was asking? He said, Here I am. He said, Take these and give them in charity...... (Narrated by al-Bukhaari & Muslim). Secondly: With regard to intercourse during the night in Ramadaan, this is permitted and is not forbidden, and the time when it is permitted lasts until the onset of dawn. When dawn comes, intercourse becomes forbidden. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of As-Sawm (the fasts). They are Libaas [i.e. body-cover, or screen, or Sakan (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with them] for you and you are the same for them. Allah knows that you used to deceive yourselves, so He turned to you (accepted your repentance) and forgave you. So now have sexual relations with them and seek that which Allah has ordained for you (offspring), and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (darkness of night), then complete your Sawm (fast) till the nightfall[al-Baqarah 2:187]. This verse clearly states that it is permissible to eat, drink and have intercourse during the nights of Ramadaan until dawn. After having intercourse it is obligatory to do ghusl.

3. There is no basis for foreplay in Islam. False.

Islam emphasizes on foreplay. Imam Ali says, When you intend to have sex with your wife, do not rush because the woman (also) has needs (which should be fulfilled). [1] Sex without foreplay has been equated to cruelty. The Prophet said, Three people are cruel: a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay. Another hadith equates sex without foreplay to animal behaviour: When anyone of you has sex with his wife, then he should not go to her like birds; instead he should be slow and delaying. As for the role of a woman in sexual foreplay, the Imams have praised a wife who discards shyness when she is with her husband. Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) says, The best woman among you is the one who discards the armour of shyness when she undresses for her husband, and puts on the armour of shyness when she dresses up again. [4] After all, modesty and Sisters Circle Session 5

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chastity in public is the hallmark of a Muslim lady. These sayings clearly show that the husband and the wife should feel completely free when they are engaged in mutual stimulation which is known as foreplay. There is nothing wrong, according to Islam, for a woman to be active and responsive during sex. As for the Islamic Shariah, all the mujtahids are unanimous in saying that the act of sexual foreplay in itself is mustahab(recommended). Likewise, it is recommended not to rush into sexual intercourse. The operative word is mutual pleasure and satisfaction. So make an effort for each other.

4. A man may enter his wife from whatever position he wishes as long as he enters her vagina, including from behind. True.

It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes - from behind or from the front. About this Allah revealed the following verse: "Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will" [al-Baqarah 2:223]. There are also various hadith on this subject: On the authority of Jaabir who said: "The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allah revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [alBaqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said: "From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina". [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]. On the authority of Ibn 'Abbaas who said: "The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an unwomanly manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him: "We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!" This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allah, revealed the verse: "Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;" [al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat).

5. It is more important that the husband is satisfied during sex than the wife. False.

It is not acceptable for a Muslim man just to satisfy himself while ignoring his wifes needs. Experts agree that the basic psychological need of a man is respect, while that of a woman is love. Neither respect nor love are things that can be forcedthey have to be worked for, and earned. The Prophet (saw) stated that in ones sexual intimacy with ones life partner there is sadaqa (worship through giving): Allahs Messenger (saw) said: In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa. The Companions replied: 0 Messenger of God! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that? And he said, Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded. (Muslim). This hadith only makes sense if the sexual act is raised above the mere animal level. What is the magic ingredient that turns sex into sadaqa that makes it a matter of reward or punishment from Allah? It is by making ones sex life more than simple physical gratification; it is by thought for pleasing Allah by unselfish care for ones partner. A husband that cannot understand this will never be fully respected by his wife. Neither spouse should ever act in a manner that would be injurious or harmful to their conjugal life. Of His signs is this: that He created for you spouses that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. (Quran, 30:21). Now, every Muslim knows

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that a man has a right on his wife. Islam makes it clear that if a husband is not aware of the urges and needs of his wife, he will be committing a sin by depriving her of her rights. A Muslim wife is not merely a lump of flesh without emotions or feelings, just there to satisfy a mans natural urges. On the contrary, her body contains a soul no less important in Gods sight than her husbands. Her heart is very tender and delicate, and crude or rough manners would hurt her feelings and drive away love. The husband would be both foolish and immoral to act in any way unpalatable to her natural temperament, and a man selfishly seeking his own satisfaction without considering that of his wife is a selfish boor. In fact, according to a hadith: Three things are counted inadequacies in a man. Firstly, meeting someone he would like to get to know, and taking leave of him before learning his name and his family. Secondly, rebuffing the generosity that another shows to him. And thirdly, going to his wife and having intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him. (Daylami). Allah created male and female from a single soul in order that man might live with her in serenity (Quran, 7:189), and not in unhappiness, frustration and strife. If your marriage is frankly awful, then you must ask yourself how such a desperate and tragic scenario could be regarded by anyone as half the Faith. According to a hadith: Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you. And what is that messenger? they asked, and he replied: Kisses and words. (Daylami). These kisses and words do not just include foreplay once intimacy has commenced. To set the right mood, little signals should begin well in advance, so that the wife has a clue as to what is coming, and is pleasantly expectant, and also has adequate time to make herself clean, attractive and ready. As regards intimacy itself, all men know that they cannot achieve sexual fulfillment if they are not aroused. They should also realise that it is actually harmful and painful for the female organs to be used for sex without proper preparation. In simple biological terms, the womans private parts need a kind of natural lubrication before the sexual act takes place. For this, Allah has created special glands, known to modern doctors as the Bartholin glands, which provide the necessary oils. Just as no one would dream of trying to run an engine without the correct lubricating fluids, it is the same, through the creative will of Allah, with the parts of the female body designed for sexual intimacy. A husband should know how to stimulate the production of these oils in his wife, or at the very least allow her to use some artificial oils. This lack of knowledge or consideration is where so many marital problems frequently arise. As Imam al-Ghazali says: Sex should begin with gentle words and kissing, and Imam alZabidi adds: This should include not only the cheeks and lips; and then he should caress the breasts and nipples, and every part of her body. (Zabidi, Ithaf al-Sada al Muttaqin, V 372)

6. According to Shariah, illegal or un-Islamic sexual conduct, i.e. sex before marriage and adultery is a serious offence which is punishable by an Islamic court. True.
Pre-marital sex is a sin punishable by the Islamic court. If an unmarried man and an unmarried woman are found guilty of fornication in an Islamic court, their punishment will be as the following: The woman and the man who fornicate scourge each of them a hundred whip......and let a party of the believers witness their punishment. (24:2). Note at least four witnesses must see the act of penetration, how rare is that! This sort of act is usually done in secret; the offenders must repent for this for Allah is Most forgiving. The idea is to discourage the act.

7. Anal sex is completely forbidden (Haraam). True.

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Allah says in the Qur'an: "Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow upon you pious offspring) for your ownselves beforehand. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers." (Al-Baqarah: 223). In the foregoing verse the word Harth (tilth) indicates that only vaginal sex is permissible in Islam, because it is from this place children are produced. The semen lodged in the womb from which offsprings come is likened to the seeds that are planted in the ground, bringing vegetation. Both of them are substances from which something else is produced. Muslim jurists agree that anal sex is Haram, based on the Hadith of the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him: "Do not have anal sex with women." (Reported by Ahmad, AtTirmidhi, An-Nasaa'i, and Ibn Majah.) Khuzaymah Ibn Thaabit, may Allah be pleased with him, also reports that the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Allah is not too shy to tell you the truth: Do not have sex with your wives in the anus." (Reported by Ahmad, 5/213.) Ibn `Abbaas, may Allah be pleased with him, narrates: "The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said: "Allah will not look at a man who has anal sex with his wife." (Reported by Ibn Abi Shaybah and Tirmidhi). Many people find it painful, sometimes extremely so. Anal sex is considered a high-risk sexual practice, and unprotected anal sex is the riskiest of all forms of sexual intercourse, due to the vulnerability of the rectum and sphincter tissues. Since the anus does not have sufficient natural lubrication tearing is likely.

8. "Janabat" is the state a person is in after having sexual intercourse or discharging semen hence making them impure. True. 9. Ghusl (ritual purificication) i.e. bath or shower is recommended in the state of Janabat. False.
It is compulsory.

10. In the state of Janabat performing Salah/Namaz and reciting or touching the Qur'an is forbidden. True. 11. In the state of Janabat entering or staying in the mosque is forbidden. True.
Janabat is a ritual impurity caused by the discharge of semen or by sexual intercourse; and the person on whom ghusl janabat becomes wajib is known as "junub". The Qur'an says: O you who believe! Do not go near prayers (salat) when you are... junub until you have washed yourselves. (4:43) O you who believe! When you stand up for prayers (salat), . . . if you are junub, then purify (yourselves). (5:6). There are two causes of janabat: 1. Discharge of semen. It does not make any difference whether this discharge is while awake or in a wet-dream, slight or profuse, intentionally or otherwise, in lawful way or unlawful. In all these cases ghusl janabat becomes obligatory (wajib). If a secretion is discharged from a woman, then it is precautionary wajib for her to do ghusl janabat provided it came with sexual passion and she felt relaxed after it. But if the secretion comes without the sexual passion or without the feeling of relaxation after the discharge, then it is not najis and therefore ghusl is not wajib upon her. 2. Sexual Intercourse. It does not make any difference whether the intercourse was lawful or unlawful, and with or without discharge of semen. In Islamic laws, sexual intercourse is defined

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as the penetration of the glans into the vagina or anus of the woman. That is, for ghusl janabat to become wajib it is not necessary that full penetration or discharge of semen should take place. In case of sexual intercourse, ghusl janabat becomes wajib on both the man and the woman. There are certain things in Islam which are so sacred that a Muslim cannot come into contact with them unless he or she is ritually pure and clean. Based on this concept of sacredness, a junub is forbidden from coming into contact, in various ways, with two of the most sacred things in Islam: the Qur'an and the mosque. The following four acts are haram for the junub before performing the ghusl. Two are related to the Qur'an and the other two are related to mosques. 1. Touching the writing of the Qur'an, the names and attributes of Allah, the names of the Prophet, the Imams and Fatimah (the daughter of the Prophet). 2. Reciting the verses of the Qur'an. 3. Entering or staying in the mosque. The Qur'an says, "O you who believe!...Nor (are you allowed to enter the masjid) if you are junub until you have washed yourself except passing through."(4:43) Based on this verse and relevant ahadith, the mujtahids have concluded that a junub is totally forbidden from staying in the mosque. Of course, as the verse says, one can pass through the mosques (by entering from one door and leaving from the other). However, this exception of passing through does not apply to the following places: the Masjidu'l-Haram (the Sacred Mosque at Mecca) Masjidu' n-Nabi (the Mosque of the Prophet at Medina), and shrines of the Imams a junub cannot even pass through them. Jamil asked Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq (a.s.) whether or not a junub can sit in mosques? The Imam said, "No! But he may pass through all of them except the Sacred Mosque (at Mecca) and the Prophet's Mosque (at Medina)." (Wasa'il, vol. 1, p. 485.) 4. Leaving something in or taking it out from a mosque. MANNER OF PERFORMING THE GHUSL : 1. Remove the najasat (semen, blood) from the body. Wash the private area. 2. Make Niyyat (intention). 3. Wash the hands up to the elbows three times. 4. Gargle three times. 5. Wash the head down to the neck; wipe your hand on the face and neck, and comb the hair with your fingers. (Basically make wudhu) 6. Wash the right side of your body from the shoulders down to the feet; 3 times. 7. Wash the left side of your body from the shoulders down to the feet, 3 times.

12. Intercourse in any position is permitted. True.

As far as the basic coital positions are concerned, there are no restrictions. The term 'basic coital positions' known as the man above, face to face, woman above face to face; side position, face to face; rear-entry position in which the husband penetrates the vagina from the rear. Actually, the shari'ah has left it on the husband and the wife to explore and experiment as they wish. In the early Islamic period, an event took place which clarified this issue for all. The people of Medina, influenced by the Jews, used man-above face to face position during sexual intercourse; whereas the Meccans liked to experiment various positions. After the migration of Muslims to Medina, a Meccan married a Medinan woman and wanted to have sex with her in his own way. The woman refused and said that he can have sex with her only in one position. The case was reported to the Prophet; so Allah revealed the verse saying "Your women are a tilth for you, so go in to your tilth as you like." (2:223). However, it is makruh to adopt a standing position, or to face the qiblah or keep it on the backside during the intercourse. It is advisable to refrain from the acrobatic positions ISMC Sisters Circle Session 5

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given by some sexologists of the East and the West which might even cause physical harm. Remember, the basic rule is mutual pleasure and flexibility. If one partner does not like a particular position, then the other should yield to his or her feelings.

13. It is shameful to talk about sex. False.

Sex is clean! A modest upbringing is part of good character. The Prophet (saw) himself said: Modesty brings nothing but good. (Bukhari and Muslim) But another, also important, part of Islamic teaching says that all of Allahs creation is beautiful and pure, particularly when it is part of the body of human beings, who are designed as His deputies upon the earth. In some religions, people traditionally believed that the womans private parts are in some way unclean, or dirty, or even evil and that sex is a hush hush topic. If we keep so quite about this topic where do we think our children will get the knowledge pertaining to this topic. Form the wrong sources most likely. And if the Prophet (saw) the most humble and modest example of man, could talk about this subject and if Allah (swt) mentions it in the Quran, why is it such a secretive subject. Islam very openly talks about the topic.

14. Sex with your husband or wife is an act of worship. True.

As mentioned previously above.

15. Making an effort to present yourself nicely is unnecessary and regarded as following the acts of the disbelievers. False.
As mentioned previously above.

16. There is a supplication (dua) for sexual intercourse. True.

In the name of Allaah. O Allaah, keep the devil away from us and keep the devil away form what you have blessed us with.

17. A wife has no right to deny sexual intercourse whenever her husband desires.
True...however. According to all four orthodox jurists, it is incumbent upon the husband to keep his wife happy and pleased in this respect. Likewise, it is essential for the wife to satisfy the desire of the husband. Neither should reject the other, unless there is some lawful excuse. Generally speaking, it is fairly easy for a woman to satisfy a man and make herself available to him, even if she is not really in the mood. It is far harder for a man to satisfy a woman if he is not in the mood, and this is where an important aspect of male responsibility needs to be brought to every Muslim mans attention, and stressed strongly. Having said a considerate Muslim man would realise when it is appropriate and when it is not.

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