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I Love Science!
I Love Science!
I Love Science!
Ebook98 pages51 minutes

I Love Science!

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Science, poetry and Jeff Goldblum form a covalent bond that puts the poetic fire underneath our bunsen burners. A Lab Tech of words, Maney turns plain language into curious, knowledge-hungry poetry.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 1, 2018
ISBN9781935904786
I Love Science!

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    Book preview

    I Love Science! - Shanny Jean Maney

    writebloody@gmail.com

    Foreword

    I Love Science!

    Introduction:

    The Famous Sexy Paleontologist

    When we interviewed the Famous Sexy Paleontologist, we asked questions about the dinosaurs. Were they real? What were their names? Why do we always call them him? Did they die because they had access to affordable birth control?

    He smiled. Yes. They were real.

    Their surname was Saurus, which means lizard.

    He brought a fossilized femur bone. It was the height of just-taller-than-me

    (and was also wider around. Thank God).

    We call them him because we prefer to make all

    non-human things seem

    human and nonthreatening.

    And no, they did not die

    because of their access to affordable birth control

    (so we’ve got that argument in our corner, Human Women).

    The Famous Sexy Paleontologist’s Sexiness was publically determined

    by Time Magazine, but I enjoy saying Famous Sexy Paleontologist

    instead of Paleontologist because if you are not impressed by Paleontology,

    you are probably impressed by Sexiness.

    He answered our jokey questions about dinosaurs at a poetry show

    for an audience of aspiring artists and thinkers.

    Professional Writers.

    High School Students.

    Our Parents.

    There the Famous Sexy Paleontologist told us

    the most important thing I have ever heard.

    He said, The worst thing we can do

    is tell kids that they are good at either science and math

    OR art.

    That they are either smart

    OR creative.

    He said, We need creative scientists.

    He said, We need scientific poets.

    He said, What you do is not different than what I do.

    What we do is the same.

    The Famous Sexy Paleontologist digs dinosaur bones out of mud.

    He re-discovers the earth as it was. He uses thinking to explain

    why we are the way we are. He tells people what he has learned,

    so we will all be better.

    He said that what we do is not different.

    He said that he is a poet.

    He said that I am a scientist.

    This is science, and I am a scientist.

    Welcome to my grand hypothesis.

    I. OBSERVATION

    TAMBOURINE! TAMBOURINE! TAMBOURINE! TAMBOURINE!

    Do you ever stay up way too late eating candy and you’re

    suddenly awake and at work and you somehow

    had four whole cups of coffee that never got cold

    and the phone rings? Hilarious!

    BIRDS!

    Sometimes I drink too much coffee and eat too-too little foodstuffs

    and I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh!

    Life can be so funny! People do boring things

    and don’t know they are hysterical!

    TAMBOURINE! TAMBOURINE!

    TAMBOURINE! TAMBOURINE!

    They should make children’s songs but for adults!

    Why isn’t cake for breakfast!

    With frosting!

    I want to jog right now!

    FLAVOR CRYSTALS!

    This should be a yell song I think!

    MONKEYBRAIN!

    TAMBOURINE! TAMBOURINE!

    The Great Chicken Limo of Indianapolis

    It’s a bird!

    It’s a car!

    It’s a birdcar!

    CHIIIIIIIIIIIIICKEN LIIIIIIIMO!

    Say you already rode in a limousine?

    When your big sissie got married to Rick?

    Everyone drank Miller Lite in it?

    You got a

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