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    The Fear Inside
    The Fear Inside
    The Fear Inside
    Ebook78 pages49 minutes

    The Fear Inside

    By Ralph Morrison

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Have you ever had a secret, one you were too afraid to share? I did. It has controlled my entire life. I went from being a young child that was bullied and abused to being a bully myself. I smothered my fears with drugs and alcohol. I allowed them to consume me, too afraid to speak because of what others might think of me. Fear ruled my life. I ask you to read this with an open heart and mind. I hope this will help you release your secret. I hope you release the fear inside.

    ralphmorrison_@hotmail.com
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse
    Release dateJun 28, 2013
    ISBN9781481770934
    The Fear Inside
    Author

    Ralph Morrison

    Ralph Morrison lives in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. He fifty-one years old and has lived with the effects of bullying. The Fear Inside is his breakout healing book intended to be therapeutic for those who have been bullied. Ralph worked in construction for twenty-five years. A divorcee, he has three beautiful daughters and loves to paint and write poetry.

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      Book preview

      The Fear Inside - Ralph Morrison

      The

      Fear

      I N S I D E

      Ralph Morrison

      US%26UKLogoB%26Wnew.ai

      AuthorHouse™

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.authorhouse.com

      Phone: 1-800-839-8640

      © 2013 Ralph Morrison. All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

      Published by AuthorHouse 6/27/2013

      ISBN: 978-1-4817-7094-1 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4817-7093-4 (e)

      Library of Congress Control Number: 2013911643

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

      and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Contents

      Acknowledgements

      Introduction

      A World in Pain

      Chapter 1

      Chapter 2

      Chapter 3

      Chapter 4

      Chapter 5

      Chapter 6

      Chapter 7

      Chapter 8

      Chapter 9

      You Called Me by Name

      Chapter 10

      Chapter 11

      Chapter 12

      Chapter 13

      Chapter 14

      Chapter 15

      Chapter 16

      Chapter 17

      Chapter 18

      Rear-view Mirror

      Acknowledgements

      I need to thank, first of all, my parents Doug and Irene for putting up with me and always trying to help me. I also would like to thank my brothers Randy and Gary, who were always there, even in my darkest times; my Uncle Ed and Aunt Reggie, for believing there was good inside my heart; and my three daughters, Keana, Kelsea, and Alexandra, who one day I hope will be able to say how proud they are of me. I love you all very much. Finally, I would like to thank my unseen angel for giving me the courage and support I needed to write this book. You know who you are, and you will always have a special place in my heart.

      Introduction

      I was a young boy growing up on a farm in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. Life was the same for me as for any young child. I had loving parents and two wonderful brothers. As I grew, I also had a secret that I buried inside myself. This is a story of how a bully can change and control your life, a story of what it’s like to hold a secret inside as it slowly eats away at your soul. I was too afraid to speak to the people that were close to me. From the age of seven to my present at age, fifty-two, fear controlled my life. This is not a success story. It’s a story of how fear can change you like a cancer spreading through you, constantly changing forms. My hope is that some who read this will be able to help themselves or someone they know to overcome and speak of their fears. Don’t do as I did. Don’t hold the fear inside, for it will destroy your heart and soul.

      A World in Pain

      Could anyone care for the words

      I’ve held inside, nightmares unheard?

      No one knew the fear inside.

      I walked alone, without a guide.

      The loving child that grew to hate,

      Abuse and drugs had become my fate.

      Every day, I prayed for death.

      My world was black, I had nothing left.

      Now an older man, not afraid to speak,

      I share my story to help the weak.

      Please don’t give up. Go share your fear

      With someone close, someone dear.

      We need to end this pain and strife

      Before another soul takes his life …

      Chapter 1

      I grew up on a farm in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. I had loving parents and two older brothers. Life was great. We had a few cows, a horse, chickens, and a lot of room to play and explore. We spent most of our time outside playing and tending to the needs of farm life. Of course the chores weren’t so much fun, but we all needed to do our part. Like most parents in that time, our parents used farm chores as a punishment if we were out of line. Our parents never beat us or abused us. The farm was wonderful.

      On special holidays, the neighbouring families all got together to celebrate. We went ice-skating on frozen ponds, had bonfires for Halloween, and had Easter egg hunts. There was always an adventure.

      One of the neighboring families had eleven children. It was always easy to put a baseball team or soccer team together.

      The youngest of the kids, I followed the older ones in all I did. I always looked up to my brothers and the others. Whether it was riding our bikes down the steep hills or riding the horses up into the mountains that surrounded our farms, I went along with their plans.

      At one point my parents took my brothers and me aside to inform us they were taking in two more children as foster kids. They lived on another farm next to ours. I was too young to understand why, but I do remember a strange feeling when they joined our family. We now had a new brother and sister. I was still the youngest child.

      My parents didn’t have much money, but they always provided everything we needed. My mother worked in a bank, and Dad worked at a boat-building plant. They worked at their jobs all week, and in the evenings and on weekends they worked on the farm, all of us helping where we could. My dad taught us how to care for the farm, and Mom taught us how to care for the home and ourselves. There was never a man’s job or a woman’s job; we all worked together to complete whatever tasks needed to be done.

      We played different sports in the community—mostly baseball and soccer. I remember Mom and Dad coming to some of the events, but because of work they couldn’t attend all of them. In the farming community, a skating rink was built, and all the different families did their part to clean the ice and maintain the rink. It was outdoors in the fresh air. I always loved going to the rink.

      We were a happy family.

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