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Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible
Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible
Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible
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Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible

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Living in landscapes of ruin and ruination, memory and problematic nostalgia, Rebecca Lindenberg’s Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible plumbs the depths of disruption, decay, and how we go on when the world stops cold. Inspired by the speaker’s experiences of living with type 1 diabetes, the collection chronicles humanity’s daily fight for survival in a world that’s bent on destroying itself.

Lindenberg centers love, self-acceptance, and intimacy as incomparable balms across great geographical and psychological distances, and asks the reader to do the impossible: hope.


LanguageEnglish
Release dateOct 1, 2024
ISBN9781960145307
Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible

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    Our Splendid Failure to Do the Impossible - Rebecca Lindenberg

    I.

    To My Insulin Pump

    You’re part of my anatomy now – port,

    they call it. Into the flesh of my belly,

    I insert a needle. Needle comes out, but

    a tiny plastic capillary remains, affixed

    to a button. Buoy on the surface of me.

    Black, about the size of an old pager,

    I wear you clipped to my bra like a spy.

    When delivering insulin, I can hear and feel

    a faint click-whir, click-whir near my heart,

    a cat’s purr. Fine plastic tubing runs from

    my pump to my button. Somehow

    umbilical. It unclasps with a quick twist

    if I want a bath. Or to fuck unobstructed.

    It would not be exaggerating to say you

    (weight of a deck of cards, cost of a small car)

    are literally keeping me alive – but I’ll just say

    you, splendid little engine, are the only part

    of me I never find it difficult to love.

    A Brief History of the Future Apocalypse

    for Chris

    Worlds just keep on ending and

    ending, ask anybody who survived

    an earthquake in an ancient city

    its people can’t afford to bolt

    to the bedrock, or lived to testify

    to the tyrant who used his city’s roofs

    like planks to walk people off,

    his country’s rivers like alligator pits

    he could lever open and drop a whole

    angry nation into. Ask anyone

    who has watched their own ribs emerge

    as hunger pulls them out like a tide,

    who watched bloody-sheet-wrapped

    bodies from the epidemic burn,

    or fled any forever-war.

    The year I was eleven, I felt

    the ground go airplane turbulent

    beneath me. Its curt shuddering

    brought down a bridge and a highway

    I’d been under just the day before.

    And I was not afraid, but should have been

    the first time love fell in me like ash.

    How could I know it would inter us

    both, how could I not? The world

    must, I think, keep ending

    so long as we keep failing

    to heed the simple prophecies of fact –

    industry’s thick breath fogs our crystal ball,

    war is a trapdoor sprung open in the earth

    that a whole generation falls through

    and love ends, if no one errs, in death.

    When my love died, I remember thinking

    this happens to people every day,

    just – today, it’s my world

    crashing like an unmanned plane

    into the jungle of all I’ve ever

    come to know, but didn’t want to.

    It feels terrible to feel terrible

    and so we let ourselves forget –

    Why else would we let the drawbridge

    down for a new tyrant, water

    the Horseman of Famine’s red steed

    with the last bucket from the well?

    But we forget to give up, too. A heart

    sorrow-whipped and cowering

    will still nose out to its ribcage

    to be petted, will still have an urge

    for heroics. And anyway, when has fear

    of grief actually kept anyone from harm.

    Some hope rustles in my leaves

    again. It blows through, they eddy

    the floors of me, unsettling

    all I tried to learn to settle for.

    Would I be wiser to keep

    a past sacrament folded in my lap

    or would I be more wise to shake

    the gathered poppies from my apron,

    brush off soft crimson petals

    of memory and be un-haunted –

    I don’t know. So I choose you and we

    will have to live this to learn what happens.

    And though it’s tempting to mistake

    for wonders the surge of dappled

    white tailed does vaulting through

    suburban sliding glass doors,

    they are not. Nor vanishing bees

    blown out like so many thousands

    of tiny candle-flames, neither

    the glinting throngs of small black birds

    suddenly spiraling out of the sky,

    the earth almost not even dimpling

    with the soft thuds of feathered weight.

    They’re not wonders, but signs

    and therefore can be read. I didn’t

    always know that in the ancient Greek

    apocalypse

    means not the end of the world but

    the universe disclosing its knowledge

    as the sea is meant to give up its dead,

    the big reveal, when the veil blows back

    like so many cobwebs amidst the ruins

    and all the meaning of all the evidence

    will shine in us to finally see –

    And there you’ll be. And I’ll know you

    not by the moon in your grin but the song

    rung in my animal self. For I feel you,

    my sure-handed one, with something

    sacreder than instinct but just as fanged.

    Then unharness me the way you know

    I want so I can watch the stars

    blink back on over the garden as we grapple

    in the dimming black like little, little gods.

    The Woodpecker

    Last night at dinner, my husband told the children

    the cat had left a red-bristled woodpecker at the door

    still heaving her small breast, still blinking a bright eye.

    He told them he got his gloves, gently lifted her up,

    that she perched for a bit on his finger, frightened

    tiny talons gripping and ungripping, until she finally

    found her wings and flew off. Did you know, I asked,

    this weird fact about woodpecker’s tongues? I let

    their father explain (because he’s the one who told me)

    that woodpeckers’ tongues wrap around their brains –

    a fact so strange and obviously metaphorical it really

    deserves its own poem. But this isn’t that poem because

    a few nights earlier, my husband and I were talking

    about poems and he suggested I should really write

    a poem about this pandemic we’re in. The problem is

    I have nothing to say about this pandemic we’re in.

    If I get sick, I’m one of those people they say it kills.

    I saw a political ad in which a lone bed sat in a lone room,

    ventilator noises. It

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