The Romantic Connection
The Romantic Connection
The Romantic Connection
com
Publisher
Wayne Dating Inc.
Content Developer
Justin Wayne
Technical Editors
Kenny Wayne
Cover Designer
Howard Walters
Team Coordinator
Zack Wayne
Production
Howard Walters
http://www.TheRomanticConnection.com/Special/SSS
Contents
Table of Contents
Part I What Were Trying to Do Here
16
23
Index
Foreword
Foreword
You are about to have your life
transformed in a huge way.
Justin Wayne
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Part
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that is much more valuable than sex for women. Its what will make them want to see you again,
want to sleep with you again, and want to connect with you on a deeper level. Women can have
sex with any type of guy that they want. Men are much more attracted to visual stimuli than women;
this explains why the porn industry is highly lucrative. Men desire and masturbate with simple sexual
imagery; 99% of porn viewers are men. You might be wondering: dont women masturbate too? If
so, what turns them on? Visuals? No. Women masturbate to the idea of Romance. That is why 99%
of the romantic novels are sold to and read by women. Romance should be your aim; sex will come
naturally out of this romance, not the other way around. A Romantic Connection is the cure to all
evils (Flakes, boyfriend objections, and much more).
What is in this book?
In these pages (or, more likely, on the screen of your Kindle, Nook, iPad or phone), you
will find a variety of techniques and tactics that have been crafted and honed over years of, for lack
of a better word, experimentation.
Youll learn the most effective ways to approach women, hold a conversation with them,
develop a connection with them, deepen that connection, and ultimately develop a romantic
relationship. Is this a fancy way of saying Well teach you how to get laid? Get your mind out of
the gutter, man.
Think of this book not as some manual on pick-up. Its more of a lifetime mentorship. Well
talk about things here that absolutely have applications way beyond dating, romance and sex. This
book helps you become the most awesome version of yourself you can be with regard to Social
Dynamics. This holds true whether youre starting a business, making friends in a new city, or, yes,
trying to win the affections of a lady.
What is not in this book?
You will not find a Magical Script that, if you read to a woman, she will be unable to stop
herself from removing all of her clothes right there in the street and begging you to have sex with her.
Instead, we will discuss the sorts of things that have worked for many other men in the past. We will
certainly give you examples of the types of things you can say, but ultimately, you will have to live in
the moment. Youre still going to have to get her to like you. You can fake your way through a job
interview; you cant fake your way into a womans heart.
This book is also not a human being transformer. No will read this book, go to sleep, and
wake up the next morning, only to realize he has turned into James Bond. (Although please email us
if this happens. If nothing else, we will want to get some real scientists involved.) You are still going
to be you. However, youll be the you that approaches any encounter with a new woman armed
with an arsenal of efficient, effective tools so that youre ready to handle anything. Are you quirky?
Are you short? Do you not speak English well? If you internalize the teachings in this book, youll be
able to approach women in the way works best for you. Everything in here is a suggestion that can
and should be customized, person to person, to optimize results.
Who is this book for?
Or, This book is for whom? if you want to be a grammar dick. (First lesson: If you want
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women to like you, dont be a grammar dick. Its not that impressive.)
In short, this book is for pretty much any guy looking to get better and more consistent
results with the ladies. Sure, the Beginner who has been trying his absolute best, and just hasnt been
able to get so much as a phone number. The Expert who has been suavely jumping from bed to bed,
but is humble enough to know that he can always use an extra pointer or two.
The vast majority, however, of the people reading this book fall somewhere into the
Intermediate category. Maybe youve gotten a few phone numbers, and youre looking how to
avoid getting the infamous Phone Number Flake Out. Maybe youve gotten a few dates, but you
havent been able to seal the deal. Maybe you just got out of a long relationship, and youre looking
to shake off the single guy rust.
Ultimately, youre reading this right now because youre not absolutely, positively, 100%
stoked about the results youve been getting when you approach women. Well that, my friend, is
going to change.
Also, this book is probably being read by some women, who were sent as spies to
figure out all of our secrets. Bravo, Lady Spy. Your commitment is admirable.
Overcoming Rejection
Okay. Huge bummer alert. Before you even get started approaching women, you need to be
mentally and emotionally prepared for Rejection. You simply have to deal with Flakes and
Rejections in Stranger Approach situations. Its seriously easier said than done, but there are few
concrete things that can help you deal with it. Its very easy to make Rejection the negative focus of
an entire day or week. Get comfortable simply by knowing that its normal. You can even get
rejected by a woman and end up dating her later; its happened to me plenty of times! A Rejection
doesnt even mean its game over with a particular girl.
First things first: its not always your fault. Sometimes it is, particularly at the beginning, but
who gives a shit, honestly.
Think of life as a playground. In 50 or 100 years, everyone in the park where youre gaming
will be dead and/or not remember anything. Im not going to remember it; shes not going to
remember this; so who gives a shit? Just have fun while youre here, and get your game on.
Handling rejection can give you more confidence. Sometimes a girl might give you shit, even
if shes not rejecting you outright. Say it with me now: It just doesnt matter. She is a stranger!
Anyone who is great with women is going to get rejected. Its the rule.
Go out and give a Direct Approach: I think youre cute and I wanted to say hello. Do this
five times in a row to the most beautiful women you see. Youre going to get rejected when you do
this, sometimes several times in a row. Embrace this. Eventually, you become numb to it, and this is
a beautiful place to be. You start to see things differently.
Also you need to understand a sense of identity. Go for the girls you want, not caring about
what other people might think of you. Think of a basketball player who misses a shot: he knows that
he can go out and make that exact same shot tomorrow. Just because you get a rejected by a
certain type of girl, dont think youre going to rejected by that type of girl the next time. Its a
subconscious thing that can happen, where you start to think that tall women, or Asian women, or
beautiful women, etc., are unavailable to you because of a few random rejections.
Also, dont worry about the Fear of Wasted Time. Ignore this. There are going to be
bumps in the road in any good Romance. Plus, always remember that youre upping your game with
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every rejection, no matter how much you might think shes stringing you along. It will help you down
the road. Only amateurs worry that, Oh, boo hoo, I took her out for three nice dates, and she still
wont sleep with me. This is a form of rejection; if you dont like the way its going, think what you
can do to make it better. This book will give you the tools to do so.
Also watch out for the certain types of guys youre hanging out with or gaming with. They
shouldnt be judgmental or mocking you if you get rejected. Your boys should all be on the same
and at approximately the same level. You can always give each other tips and ideas, but no one
should be making anyone feel like crap for any missteps along the way. As soon as this happens,
Rejections will start to get in your head. You simply cannot have that.
What is a Flake?
While were on the topic of rejection, lets just get through the basics of the most common
(by far!) mode of rejection: the Flake. Sure, sometimes a woman will just say No right to your
face. It hurts, but its often so quick that it can be easier to move past. What can really do a number
on your psyche but of course shouldnt is when she really seems to like you, and then just Flakes
for seemingly no reason. As always, it doesnt fucking matter! If she liked you, she wouldnt be
Flaking. It aint no thing.
So, what is a Flake? When a woman gives you her number, but never follows up or sees
you again. It can take place in several forms:
1) She gives you a fake number.
2) She gives you a real number but never responds.
3) Sometimes she responds, sometimes she doesn't.
4) She responds, but it is very difficult to arrange to meet her.
5) She agrees to meet but keeps canceling.
6) She agrees to meet and does not cancel, but does not show up.
The bottom line is that she is not meeting you in real life. The are two common ways for
minimizing flakes.
1) Revise your follow-up plan which involves texting and calling methods. (Meh.)
2) Improve your initial interaction prior to the number exchange. (This is ideal and by far the best
solution)
Well get into how to get her number a little bit later on, but it just helps to get all of this
shitty stuff out of the way, so we can really focus on the fun, romance elements of the Domino Effect.
Why is so much of this book about Stranger Approaching?
The simplest answer is that Stranger Approaching is much more difficult. You already
(presumably) have a good rapport and friendliness with women in your social circle. You need to
experience the challenge of establishing that rapport with a stranger, and making a smooth transition
into a Romantic Connection with her.
Think about it: if you can hook-up with a total stranger within an hour of meeting her, think
about how successful youll be when you finally put the moves on that cutie co-worker youve had
your eye on, or that friend of a friend youve flirted with on six different occasions over the last year.
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Truthfully, if theres a woman in your social circle that you want to get more romantic with,
but for whatever reason its never happened, she may have already put you into the dreaded Friend
Zone. But fear not: all the tactics and techniques that keep you from falling into the FZ with a
stranger in the first place are totally applicable to wriggling free from the FZ with the women in your
social circle.
Avoiding the Friend Zone
Lets launch right into one of the most fundamental reasons why men turn to a dating
program: they get boxed into the Friend Zone by woman after woman. Some men start to feel like
there is no escape. This would be completely incorrect.
Okay, sure, there are some female friends of yours who, no matter what you do, will never
hook up with you. Thats simply going to be true of certain women you meet throughout your life,
whether or not you know them. But the easiest, most demonstrable way to exude your desire for
more, and exit that Friend Zone gracefully is to constantly progress into more and more intimate
physical contact over time.
Were going to talk a lot about Progressive Framing in Chapter 5, but the basics behind
Framing a conversation is that women will accept the story thats in front of them, as long as its
genuine and consistent. If youve never touched a woman, and then you all of a sudden go for a hug,
it will be hugely jarring.
Conversely, if you just come off as a friendly, touchy guy (Note: not touchy, as in ugh,
hes so touchy when you bring up the fact that his favorite NBA team sucks. Here, touchy means a
guy who experiences affection, and that affection often manifests itself in the form of friendly, touchy
physical contact.) who enjoys high-fives, hugs, handholds, etc., the woman will accept that this is
just who this guy is.
Keep this progressive physicality in mind throughout the process of seducing a woman. The
process is much more collapsed when youre gaming a stranger; the only difference in your social
circle is theres a little bit more risk involved. Many good men have lost many good friendships
because only one of them was interested romantically in the other.
Take your time. Life is short, sure, but if youre working your way out of the labyrinth
known as the Friend Zone, it can take some time to undo some of the Framing youve already done
in your relationship with her, and gradually create some new frames for her to see you in an entirely
new light.
The easiest way to get out of the Friend Zone, of course, is never to have entered it in the
first place. You are going to learn how to maintain a constantly increasing level of playful sexual
tension between you and the woman youre interested in. When done properly, this technique will
ensure that, if she does think of you as a friend at all, itll certainly be one with benefits.
Sexual benefits, if that wasnt clear.
Conscious Attraction versus Subconscious Attraction
This is the first of many times when we will discuss the many, many, many differences
between men and women, particularly in the way they go about looking for a mate. So, as a man,
ask yourself: how many times has a woman walked into a room, and you said to yourself, almost
immediately, God Id like to see her naked and have sex with her. If youre anything like me, the
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number of times youve done this is about equal to the number of times youve seen an attractive
women. Approximately 5 million times if you have the pleasure of living in a city.
Women, however, often take much longer to arrive at this conclusion. Sure, they can be
seduced by the mere sight of a man I mean, who cant say this about the first time they saw Tom
Selleck in his prime but a desire for sex often comes much later. Women like to know a variety of
other factors about you before agreeing to anything romantic: who you are, how you carry yourself,
how you treat the people around you, what sort of boyfriend/partner youd be, etc.
Still though, if a woman likes what she sees enough after the first few minutes of conversation
that shes willing to continue evaluating you, shes very likely Subconsciously Attracted to you.
Compare that to the man, who is very Consciously Attracted to a beautiful woman almost
disturbingly quickly.
Playing the Numbers Game
Many people seem to believe that Game (and they put the word in quotes so it seems less
scary or something) does not exist. That its simply a numbers game. I see it differently. If it were,
then youd be admitting that theres no skill involved, and it would make no sense to learn anything.
Yet as you improve your gaming skill-set, lifestyle, and mentality (and other facets of your life), your
percentages and results will rise. You become more attractive by enhancing the different aspects of
your life. Fashion, style, inner-psycology, fitness, you name it. Cant every single point mentioned
help you become a happier and more attractive person to be around?
This is an (unedited) question and answer e-mail that I recently had about this issue on my
website.
Hey Justin thanks for the video and Ive improved and gotten laid twice. however,
From my experience and time in the game; Ive learned that women either like you or they
dont. I mean, i dont understand how you make women like you. I mean so many women
walked away from me when i was talking to them and then some just were not interested and
then i had the few that were. Some times all i did was look at them up and down then they
would give me eye contact and i would open. They wouldnt hold my hand back. I would then
lean in and ask what perfume their wearing. If she made a awkward gaze i knew she was not
interested. My only conclusion is no matter how bold you are or how skilled and flirty you get
with women if she does not like you, she just doesnt like you. I feel like the community has
told men lies that you can get any woman to like you or that once you learn a method you can
get any girl. what is your take Justin?
Good Analysis. I am a Dating Coach. I do not endorse all of the original Pick Up teachings.
Some make sense; some are just a fad.
Game does help you score with a higher percentage of women, if done properly. However,
there is still a huge element outside of your control. The most you can do is improve yourself and
your game: skill set and approach selection. Always think about the two competing forces:
Numbers Game (things out of your control) versus Your Game (things in your control). Focus on
the things in your control to maximize odds in Stranger Approaching.
Give it a year or two to truly know your potential.
Numbers Game, Part II: A Lack of Receptiveness
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Many guys view a particular girl as not being attractive if shes not receptive when you first
talk to her. Receptiveness basically is the reaction a girl gives you on that particular second of that
day. It can be for a VARIETY of reasons such as
- She is in a bad mood
- She is totally not in a social mood and it is just to much
- She just came off the phone with her boyfriend, father, friend issue.
- She has to go to the bathroom
- She recently got approached by a creeper.
- She has a 10-page paper to go home and write.
- She may not be into you or your stereotype
- She may be going through a hard time at work
It goes on and on. This is a part of the numbers game (things out of your control). The
funny thing is that, if you approached her an hour later, when her mind was clearer, she might have
been more receptive. Same girl, same approach, different time. Some things are simply not in your
control.
That being said, for me, game is not only a numbers game because my percentages are
dramatically higher than they used to be. Beyond what Im saying to these girls, my vibe is ever
present, and girls can feel it. Vibe is a very deep concept, one that well be getting to soon, but we
all feel it and can sense if from others. As you move forward with this book, constantly self-evaluate
the sort of Vibe that you project to the world. Improving your Vibe will truly make a world of
difference in everything you do, not just approaching women.
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Part
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The Work You Need to Put in Before You Hit the Streets
Honestly, do you think a boxer steps into the ring and just hopes his instincts will carry him through
the fight? No chance in hell. Hes spent months running, swimming, lifting weights, studying his
opponent, and learning everything he can from his coaches.
Dating is the same thing, albeit with a (hopefully) much smaller chance of getting knocked
out by vicious punch to the jaw.
Feel Good About Who You Are
Good self-esteem and self-confidence are two of the most important traits a man can have
before he approaches a woman. Before you can give a shit about what any woman in the world
thinks of you, you need to feel good about you. Trust us: if you dont feel good about you, no else is
going to.
It is so easy to care about other peoples opinions.
Youre going to read a lot in this book about Value. When you see a woman, she has Value
to you, if you want her phone number, or if you want to go on a date with her, or if you want have to
sex with her. (Or, most commonly, all of the above.) She has Value to you. So what do you bring to
the table? Well, a variety of things. But a good selfA very practical theory for not just the dating world, but of conversations in general: the
person with the most self-confidence will control the conversation. Think of any time you debated
about a social issue with your friend. Unless one of you is a master debater (heehee, yes, grow up),
the conversation will be steered by the person who happened to read the most shit about this topic
online. Hes got the facts on his side, so he gets to dictate where the conversation goes.
Well, feeling good about yourself when gaming a woman is equivalent to reading Drudge
Report, Wikipedia, and the New York Times web site before launching into a discussion about
Syria. You know how this is supposed to go, so its not a surprise at all when it goes the direction
you want it to go.
Getting Into the Right Mindframe
There are a lot of adjectives to describe the right mindframe for gaming, but by far the most
important (and the one that encompasses most other adjectives for this mindframe) is playful. I
mean, hell. Its called game isnt it? It only makes sense that someone has to be playing, right?
Look around the next time youre walking down the street. How many of them have a
sourpuss look on their face? How many faces can you not even see because its buried in the glow
of an iPhone screen? People are not naturally happy as they walk down the street.
You need to go the opposite direction. Remind yourself how happy you are to be alive.
Think about how great it is to be a single guy in a world with over 3 billion women.
Beyond everything, the most important thing you can do is just smile. (Note: not in a creepy
way. Theres a fine line between a guy who is self-amused and a guy who looks like he could be a
creepster with a shrine to his ex-girlfriend in his basement.) Our brains associate smiling with good
times, naturally, because were so often smiling during the times when we actually are having a good
time. You can literally trick your brain into thinking, Hmmwhenever I utilize the facial muscles to
shape my mouth into an upward curving position, Im having a good time so now must be one of
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there. I was friendly, and I tried my best. Not every woman is going to respond to every advance
from every man. That is totally okay. You need to be okay with it. Once you realize that the shittiest
possible outcome of approaching a woman totally does not matter one teeny tiny little bit, you should
be in the right mindset to approach a woman.
Warm-up Drills to Try at Home
Practice what youre going to say. It seems simple, but you have no idea how many guys
skip this step. If you cant say, Oh hey, I thought you were cute, so I just wanted to meet you to
that Shakira poster in your bedroom (which, by the way, you should definitely take down before
you a bring a woman up there) without fumbling, you are probably not going to be able to say it to a
real woman properly. Practice at least five different Testers, Approaches, Transitions, and Openers
(well get to those in Chapter 3, bro, relax) until they feel as natural coming out of your mouth as
Jerry Seinfeld feels when hes telling his opening joke.
Go Over The Stories You Might Tell
Unless youre one of the worlds greatest storytellers, chances are you could stand to
refresh yourself on the finer details. Ask yourself the following questions about each story:
*Does this story maintain or raise my value? (Dont tell a story that makes you seem like a total
asshole or someone who doesnt know what hes doing.)
*Does this story have several Hook Points? (She should be intrigued throughout the story. Know
exactly how and when shell be hooked in.)
*How does this story connect to my current conversation? (There should be a point. The moral
could be anything from So anyway, after that crazy experience, Im just really happy to be meeting
a cool girl right now to Ever since, Ive just been making it a point to have more fun and meet new
people. Whatever it is, the story should definitely tie back in a clear way to your current
conversation.)
Good stories evoke emotions like fun, intrigue, humor, conspiracy, mystery, and romance.
Sexual and romantic can be much more powerful in developing a connection with a woman, but be
aware that they can be a major turn-off if told too early in the process. Thats why you need to have
a few different types of stories at your fingertips. Universally amusing, innocent stories for earlier in
the conversation, and deeper, more vulnerable stories for later in the conversation, or even for the
second date.
Warm-up Drills to Try in the Field
Because so much of gaming is about mind-frame, you can get yourself heading in the right
direction simply by talking to any strangers about anything.
Hey man, nice hat!
Hi there, miss, just wanted to say thats a really cool scarf!
Whoa, I love those boots, they must be great in this cold weather!
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It totally doesnt matter what you say. Youre just trying to get a little bit of momentum. All
the pressure is off. Youre not even trying to have a conversation. Youre just giving yourself a
much-needed reminder that opening the door to a potential conversation with another human being is
not a painful process. In fact, when you do it few times, youll see how enjoyable it is to brighten
peoples days with a well-placed compliment.
Once you get a few of these utterly innocent compliments out of the way, try to be a little bit
more direct with your warm-ups.
Hey you, let me talk to you!
Hi there. I got a question for you!
You can even put yourself into situations where youre forced to start a conversation with
strangers. Buy a few random dudes a round at a bar (alleviate the awkwardness by telling them that
you just got some good news, and youre feeling generous). Split a cab with someone. Hold the
elevator door for a stranger and strike up a conversation. The key is Social Repetition. The more
comfortable you get talking to strangers, the easier everything will be. Maybe people will talk to you,
maybe they wont. As long as you keep things super casual and playful, youre going to be getting
into the right mindset to talk to people. And just as importantly, youll be reminding yourself that
getting ignored is totally not a big deal.
Setting a Game Schedule
The key to a good schedule is balance. Game is not your life, and your life should not be
game.
Again, think of the boxer. He doesnt go about his day, head to the grocery store, and then
think, Hmm, Im in training, maybe I should sprint down this aisle to the cereal, because I havent
run much today. He wakes up at 7am, goes for a run until 8am, and then, ya know, finishes the rest
of his workout. Please note: I dont have a goddamn clue what boxers do before I fight. I just know
that they have a schedule.
You need to have a schedule as well. A great sample schedule: Tuesday and Thursday after
work from 6-9pm, and Saturday afternoon from 1-4pm. You get to sample a few different times of
day, and a few different neighborhoods.
The temptation will be to try the Approach All Day schedule. Oh look, hot chick on the
bus! Check it out, hot girl standing behind me in line at Starbucks. You need avoid this temptation!
By limiting the number of days and times when youre gaming, you can assure yourself that
you can get in the right mindset for all of those times. Gaming takes a significant amount of mental
energy (and, if youre walking around the whole time, physical energy as well). You dont ever want
game to feel like an obligation. Otherwise, youll turn into one of those burnt out teen athletes who
never wants to see a soccer ball ever again because his dad pushed him too hard. The key is
balance.
Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety comes in many different forms and just as many different severity levels.
Maybe youre terrified of talking to any stranger. Maybe youre just a little scared about rejection.
Approach Anxiety, or the fear of performance in Stranger Approach gaming, comes in many
different flavors.
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anything else you could name, if youre not getting the results you want, you might have to look
backward.
Be honest. Are you currently thinking: Fuck that, Im not some fuckin novice. I know how
to talk to women! I just need a few pointers on how to close the deal.
Sometimes, the frustrating fact is that you have to build, and often re-build, from the
fundamentals. Tiger Woods, even while he was going through a historic run of golf championships
(and, as we later found out, a historic run of sexual encounters), worked with a coach to completely
overhaul his swing. He backslid, not winning championships for what must have been a difficult few
months. But he came back stronger than ever. Re-visiting the basics pays dividends in the long run.
So maybe you need to re-visit the way you open a conversation. Maybe you need to look at
the right moment to ask her for her number. Whatever it is, dont be afraid to fly in the face of
something youve thought to be true for as long as youve been gaming. Come up with an honest
self-assessment, saying the 3-5 things you do really well, and the 3-5 things you know could use
some extra work. Even if it leads to you getting fewer numbers and dates at first, really spend time
on those areas where you feel like youre deficient.
Real men are in this game for the long haul.
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Part
III
23
I highly recom m end the Online Dating Genie. You should check it out.
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