NLPU 100 Inner Game-S

Developing Your “Inner Game”
The growth of coaching over the past 20 years has brought new awareness to what it takes to be
successful in today's challenging and changing training environments. One of the major learnings is
that helping key people to develop their “Inner Game” is essential to success.
The “Outer Game” of any activity has to do with its behavioral and environmental aspects. In
sports, this involves the physical aspects related playing the game and using the equipment (tennis
racket, skis, ball, bat, mitt, etc.). In a business environment, this has to do with applying the tools and
implementing the procedures necessary to accomplish mission critical tasks and compete effectively
in the marketplace.
The “Inner Game” has to do with your mental and emotional approach to what you are doing.
This includes your attitude, belief in yourself and your team, your ability to concentrate effectively,
deal with mistakes and pressure, and so on. The concept of the “Inner Game” was developed by
Timothy Gallwey (1974, 2000) as a way of helping people to achieve excellence in various sports
(e.g., tennis, golf, skiing, etc.), music and also business and management training. Success in any area
of performance involves using your mind together with your body. Preparing yourself mentally and
emotionally to perform well is the essence of your “Inner Game.”
When your Outer Game and Inner Game are working together, actions flow with a type of
effortless excellence that is called, “playing in the zone.” Some indicators that you are focused and
in “the zone” are:
• A feeling of confidence and the absence of anxiety and self-doubt

• A sense of “humble authority” – self-confidence without arrogance
• No fear of failure or self-consciousness about achieving your goals
• A focus on performing beautifully and excellently
• A state of relaxed readiness in the body and focused spaciousness in the mind
• Performance comes without effort and without having to think about it
The opposite of this state – anxiety, lack of confidence, low energy, fear, stress, mental paralysis –
are responsible for many difficulties and challenges in the training environment. To put it another
way, limitations in people limit their performance.
Physical practice is what builds the skills of your Outer Game and puts them into “muscle
memory” so you don't have to think about it during the game. Similarly, there are mental and somatic
exercises can help you to improve your Inner Game.
The Power of Presence
Presence is a key element of the “inner game”. Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines presence as
“a quality of poise and effectiveness that enables a performer to achieve a close relationship with his
or her audience.” The abilities to be poised, effective and achieve a close connection to those with
whom we are interacting are important resources for coaches, trainers, managers and professional
communicators of all types.
As the definition above implies, poise and connectedness come from the capacity to be present,
centered in yourself and in relationship with those around you. The quality of presence is frequently
the “difference that makes the difference” in our ability to enjoy life, collaborate generatively and
contribute to the growth and transformation of others. Presence is associated with feelings of
aliveness, connection, creativity, satisfaction and flow. When we are not present and are disconnected
from ourselves and others, we can feel empty, out of control, distant and unavailable.
Transformational teacher Richard Moss points out that the distance between ourselves and others
is precisely the distance between ourselves and ourselves. This implies that the way we relate to
others and to the world around us is a mirror for how we relate to ourselves. It is from this
fundamental relationship with ourselves that our relationships with others and the external world
emerge. This self-to-self relationship is frequently limited by those feelings that we don't know how
to meet, accept, hold and love in ourselves.
When people are each connected to themselves and present with each other, the natural feelings
that emerge are compassion, empathy, genuine interest in each other, spontaneity, authenticity and joy.
These feelings are the foundation for all effective personal and professional relationships.
NLPU 100: NLP Practitioner Certification Course Booklet – Page 10
COACHing Versus CRASHing
It is said that things are always changing, but not always progressing. Along our identity journey,
many challenges will present themselves such as meeting the fear of the unknown and the unfamiliar,
dealing with loss or separation, and a general sense of uncertainty and vulnerability. These can plunge
us into unhelpful survival strategies: attack, escape or rigidity (fight, flight, freeze). This might result
in regression, inertia, ambivalence, the difficulty of letting go, confusion and conflict.
When this happens we are likely to collapse into a stuck state that can be summarized by the
letters in the word CRASH:
Contraction
Reaction
Analysis Paralysis
Separation
Hurt and Hatred
In order to progress through change, it is important to cultivate qualities such as flexibility and
stability, balance, connection and the ability to let go. This comes from being centered and in your
“inner zone of excellence” and connected with something beyond the confines of our egos. These
processes are characterized by what we call the COACH state:
Centered
Open
Attending with Awareness
Connected
Holding
It is important to have practices that help to create and strengthen the COACH state so that we
may move through and accompany others through times of challenge and change. It is easy to stay
balanced when life moves smoothly, but in order to maintain equilibrium during turbulent times, one
must have developed these qualities until they are “in the muscle”. Preparing for your Hero's
Journey requires durable practices to prepare you for moving through times of challenge and change
with resourcefulness.
Opening the COACH Channel

For each element of the COACH state explore the following steps:
1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you experience it now?

2. What can you do to increase it just a little bit more? (i.e., physical, verbal, visual, reference,
experience, role model, acting “as if”, etc.)
3. What level it is now?
4. What difference does it make? What becomes possible now?
NLPU 100: NLP Practitioner Certification Course Booklet – Page 11

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Developing Your “Inner Game”

• A feeling of confidence and the absence of anxiety and self-doubt

The Power of Presence

Opening the COACH Channel

1. On a scale of 1 to 10, how do you experience it now?

NLPU 100: NLP Practitioner Certification Course Booklet – Page 11

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