Section 4:

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

IN THIS SECTION YOU WILL FIND:

THE THREE COMPONENTS OF COMMUNICATION

A.SENDING MESSAGES

Verbal messages
Nonverbal messages
Paraverbal messages
The importance of consistency

B.RECEIVING MESSAGES

Listening
Giving full physical attention to the speaker
Being aware of the speaker's nonverbal messages
Paying attention to the words and feelings
Reflective listening skills
Additional verbal communication tools

C.BARRIERS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Verbal communication barriers

Nonverbal communication barriers

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COMMUNICATION SKILLS

"We all use language to communicate, to express ourselves, to get our ideas across, and to
connect with the person to whom we are speaking."

- Chip Rose, attorney and mediator

 
THE THREE COMPONENTS OF COMMUNICATION

On a daily basis we work with people who have different opinions, values, beliefs, and needs than
our own. Our ability to exchange ideas with others, understand others' perspectives, solve problems
depend significantly on how effectively we are able to communicate with others.

The act of communicating involves verbal, nonverbal, and paraverbal components. The verbal
component refers to the content of our message‚ the choice and arrangement of our words.

The nonverbal component refers to the message we send through our body language.

The paraverbal component refers to how we say what we say - the tone, pacing and volume of our
voices.

Communication Involves Three Components:

1. Verbal Messages - the words we choose

2. Paraverbal Messages - how we say the words

3. Nonverbal Messages - our body language

These Three Components Are Used To:

1. Send Clear, Concise Messages

2. Receive and Correctly Understand Messages Sent to Us.

A.SENDING MESSAGES

 Verbal Messages

Our use of language has tremendous power in the type of atmosphere that is created at the
problem-solving table. Words that are critical, blaming, judgmental or accusatory tend to create a
resistant and defensive mindset (mentalidad)that is not conducive to productive problem solving. On
the other hand, we can choose words that normalize the issues and problems and reduce
resistance. Phrases such as "in some districts, people may . . .", "it is not uncommon
for . . ."and "for some folks in similar situations" are examples of this.
Sending effective messages requires that we state our point of view as briefly and succinctly as
possible. Listening to a rambling,(confuso) unorganized speaker is tedious and discouraging - why
continue to listen when there is no interchange? Lengthy dissertations(long talks) and circuitous
explanations are confusing to the listener and the message loses its concreteness, relevance, and
impact. This is your opportunity to help the listener understand your perspective and point of view.
Choose your words with the intent of making your message as clear as possible, avoiding jargon
and unnecessaryinformation .

Effective Verbal Messages:

1. Are brief, succinct, and organized

2. Are free of jargon

3. Do not create resistance in the listener

 Nonverbal Messages

The power of nonverbal communication cannot be underestimated. In his book, Silent Messages,

Professor Albert Mehrabian says the messages we send through our posture, gestures, facial
expression, and spatial distance account for 55% of what is perceived and understood by others. In
fact, through our body language we are always communicating, whether we want to or not!

You cannot not communicate.

Nonverbal messages are the primary way that we communicate emotions:

Facial Expression: The face is perhaps the most important conveyor(transmisor) of emotional
information. A face can light up with enthusiasm, energy, and approval, express confusion or
boredom, and scowl with displeasure(fruncir el seño). The eyes are particularly expressive in
telegraphing joy, sadness, anger, or confusion.
Postures and Gestures: Our body postures can create a feeling of warm openness or cold
rejection. For example, when someone faces us, sitting quietly with hands loosely folded in the lap,
a feeling of anticipation and interest is created. A posture of arms crossed on the chest portrays a
feeling of inflexibility. The action of gathering up one's materials and reaching for a purse signals a
desire to end the conversation.

Nonverbal Messages:

1. Account for about 55% of what is perceived and understood by others.

2. Are conveyed through our facial expressions as well as our postures and gestures.

 Paraverbal Messages

Paraverbal communication refers to the messages that we transmit through the tone, pitch, and
pacing of our voices. It is how we say something, not what we say. Professor Mehrabian states that
the paraverbal message accounts for approximately 38% of what is communicated to someone. A
sentence can convey entirely different meanings depending on the emphasis on words and the tone
of voice. For example, the statement, "I didn't say you were stupid" has six different meanings,
depending on which word is emphasized.

Some points to remember about our paraverbal communication:

When we are angry or excited, our speech tends to become more rapid and higher pitched.

When we are bored or feeling down, our speech tends to slow and take on a monotone quality.

When we are feeling defensive, our speech is often abrupt.

The Importance of Consistency

In all of our communications we want to strive(esforzarse) to send consistent verbal, paraverbal and
nonverbal messages. When our messages are inconsistent, the listener may become confused.
Inconsistency can also create a lack of trust and undermine(socavar) the chance to build a good
working relationship.

When a person sends a message with conflicting (en conflicto)verbal, paraverbal and nonverbal
information, the nonverbal information tends to be believed. Consider the example of someone,
through a clenched jaw(mandibular apretada), hard eyes, and steely voice(voz de acero), telling
you they're not mad. Which are you likely to believe? What you see or what you hear?

B.RECEIVING MESSAGES

Listening

The key to receiving messages effectively is listening. Listening is a combination of hearing what

another person says and psychological involvement with the person who is talking. Listening
requires more than hearing words. It requires a desire to understand another human being, an
attitude of respect and acceptance, and a willingness to open one's mind to try and see things from
another's point of view.

Listening requires a high level of concentration and energy. It demands that we set aside our own
thoughts and agendas, put ourselves in another's shoes and try to see the world through that
person's eyes. True listening requires that we suspend judgment, evaluation, and approval in an
attempt to understand another is frame of reference, emotions, and attitudes. Listening to
understand is, indeed, a difficult task!

Often, people worry that if they listen attentively and patiently to a person who is saying something
they disagree with, they are inadvertently sending a message of agreement.

When we listen effectively we gain information that is valuable to understanding the problem as the
other person sees it. We gain a greater understanding of the other person's perception. After all, the
truth is subjective and a matter of perception. When we have a deeper understanding of another's
perception, whether we agree with it or not, we hold the key to understanding that person's
motivation, attitude, and behavior. We have a deeper understanding of the problem and the
potential paths for reaching agreement.
Listening

1. Requires concentration and energy

2. Involves a psychological connection with the speaker

3. Includes a desire and willingness to try and see things from another's perspective

4. Requires that we suspend judgment and evaluation

Learning to be an effective listener is a difficult task for many people. However, the specific skills of
effective listening behavior can be learned. It is our ultimate goal to integrate these skills into a
sensitive and unified way of listening.

Key Listening Skills:

Nonverbal:

Giving full physical attention to the speaker;

Being aware of the speaker's nonverbal messages;

Verbal:

Paying attention to the words and feelings that are being expressed;

Using reflective listening tools such as paraphrasing, reflecting, summarizing, and questioning to
increase understanding of the message and help the speaker tell his story.

 Giving Full Physical Attention To The Speaker

Attending is the art and skill of giving full, physical attention to another person. In his book, People
Skills, Robert Bolton, Ph.D., refers to it as "listening with the whole body".

Effective attending is a careful balance of alertness and relaxation that includes appropriate body
movement, eye contact, and "posture of involvement". Fully attending says to the speaker, "What
you are saying is very important. I am totally present and intent on understanding you". We create a
posture of involvement by:
 Leaning gently towards the speaker; Facing the other person squarely; Maintaining an open posture
with arms and legs uncrossed; Maintaining an appropriate distance between us and the speaker;
Moving our bodies in response to the speaker, i.e., appropriate head nodding, facial expressions.

Being Aware of the Speakers Nonverbal Messages

When we pay attention to a speaker's body language we gain insight into(vista) how that person is
feeling as well as the intensity of the feeling. Through careful attention to body language and
paraverbal messages, we are able to develop hunches(corazonadas) about what the speaker (or
listener) is communicating. We can then, through our reflective listening skills, check the accuracy
of those hunches(hunches) by expressing in our own words, our impression of what is being
communicated. 

Paying Attention to the Words and Feelings

In order to understand the total meaning of a message, we must be able  to gain understanding
about both the feeling and the content of the message. We are often more comfortable dealing with
the content rather than the feelings (i.e., the relationship), particularly when the feelings are intense.
Our tendency is to try and ignore the emotional aspect of the message/conflict and move directly to
the substance of the issues.

Common Barriers to Effective Communication:

 The use of jargon. Over-complicated, unfamiliar and/or technical terms.
 Emotional barriers and taboos. Some people may find it difficult to express their
emotions and some topics may be completely 'off-limits' or taboo. Taboo or difficult topics
may include, but are not limited to, politics, religion, disabilities (mental and physical),
sexuality and sex, racism and any opinion that may be seen as unpopular.
 Lack of attention, interest, distractions, or irrelevance to the receiver. (See
our page Barriers to Effective Listening for more information).
 Differences in perception and viewpoint.
 Physical disabilities such as hearing problems or speech difficulties.
 Physical barriers to non-verbal communication. Not being able to see the non-
verbal cues, gestures, posture and general body language can make communication less
effective. Phone calls, text messages and other communication methods that rely on
technology are often less effective than face-to-face communication.
 Language differences and the difficulty in understanding unfamiliar accents.
 Expectations and prejudices which may lead to false assumptions or
stereotyping.  People often hear what they expect to hear rather than what is actually
said and jump to incorrect conclusions. Our page The Ladder of Inference explains this
in more detail.
 Cultural differences.  The norms of social interaction vary greatly in different
cultures, as do the way in which emotions are expressed. For example, the concept of
personal space varies between cultures and between different social settings. See our
page on Intercultural Awareness for more information.

A Categorisation of Barriers to Communication

Language Barriers
Language and linguistic ability may act as a barrier to communication.

However, even when communicating in the same language, the terminology used in a
message may act as a barrier if it is not fully understood by the receiver(s).  For example, a
message that includes a lot of specialist jargon and abbreviations will not be understood
by a receiver who is not familiar with the terminology used.

Regional colloquialisms and expressions may be misinterpreted or even considered

offensive. See our page: Effective Speakingfor more information.

Psychological Barriers
The psychological state of the communicators will influence how the
message is sent, received and perceived.

For example:

If someone is stressed they may be preoccupied by personal concerns and not as

receptive to the message as if they were not stressed.

Stress management is an important personal skill that affects our interpersonal relationships.
See our pages  Stress: Symptoms and Triggers  and  Avoiding Stress  for more information.
Anger is another example of a psychological barrier to communication. When we are
angry it is easy to say things that we may later regret, and also to misinterpret what others
are saying.

See our pages:  What is Anger?  and  Anger Management  for more information.

More generally people with low self-esteem may be less assertive and therefore may not
feel comfortable communicating - they may feel shy or embarrassed about saying how
they really feel, or read unintended negative sub-texts in messages they hear.

Visit our pages on  Improving Self-Esteem  and  Assertiveness  for more information.

Physiological Barriers
Physiological barriers to communication may result from the receiver’s
physical state.

For example, a receiver with reduced hearing may not fully grasp the content of a spoken
conversation especially if there is significant background noise.

Physical Barriers
An example of a physical barrier to communication is geographic
distance between the sender and receiver(s).

Communication is generally easier over shorter distances as more communication

channels are available and less technology is required. The ideal communication is face-
to-face.

Although modern technology often helps to reduce the impact of physical barriers, the
advantages and disadvantages of each communication channel should be understood so
that an appropriate channel can be used to overcome the physical barriers.

Systematic Barriers
Systematic barriers to communication may exist in structures and organisations where
there are inefficient or inappropriate information systems and communication channels,
or where there is a lack of understanding of the roles and responsibilities for
communication. In such organisations, people may be unclear of their role in the
communication process and therefore not know what is expected of them.

Attitudinal Barriers
Attitudinal barriers are behaviours or perceptions that prevent people
from communicating effectively. 

Attitudinal barriers to communication may result from personality conflicts, poor

management, resistance to change or a lack of motivation.  To be an effective receiver
of messages you should attempt to overcome your own attitudinal barriers to to help
ensure more effective communication.

To improve your overall communication skills you need to be aware of,

and attempt to minimise, any barriers to communication that are
present.

By developing your emotional intelligence you will become more aware

of how to communicate with others in the most appropriate and effective
ways.

Take our Interpersonal Skills Self-Assessment to find out your strengths

and weakness.