LESSON 3: THE BUSINESS E-MAIL

OVERVIEW
In this lesson, we will discuss e-mail as a form of online communication and how to use it in a business
context. We will focus on how the different parts of an e-mail message function and which conventions
are used in the writing of e-mails.

OUTCOMES
After having worked through this lesson, you should be able to

• define what e-mail is and how it functions

• explain the anatomy of an e-mail and each part’s function
• explain the style, register and netiquette of an e-mail and know how to apply these elements to
different contexts
• write different types of e-mails: requests, persuasive messages, bad news, reminders
• explain when to use different styles and registers

You will need to master the following key concepts in order to achieve the learning outcomes for this
lesson:

• business e-mail • requests by e-mail

• build of an e-mail • persuasion by e-mail
• language style and register • bad news by e-mail
• politeness

TIME REQUIRED FOR LESSON 1

The notional hours for this course are 120 hours. This leaves you with eight hours per week. You need
to spend at least two hours per week on the study material, which translates to 30 hours in total. For this
lesson, you need to allocate approximately six hours.

See figure 3.1 below for a visual summary of the lesson.

Figure 3.1: Visual overview of the lesson

3.1 INTRODUCTION

Because most of us either grew up in the technological age or immigrated to the era of internet and
electronic communication in the past 30 years or so, we tend to think that we know how e-mail works.
We use it daily to communicate with friends, family and for more formal reasons like business. It is so
quick and convenient that we now send most of our e-mails from our phones. Some people send e-mails
from their wristwatches! Electronic mail has even warped into other forms like instant messages that
share some similarities with e-mail. However, that being said, most people still do not know how to use
e-mail for business purposes. E-mail has a number of conventions that need to be followed. Weirdly,
many of these conventions are ignored which leads to miscommunication. The result? Recipient either
do not understand what is expected of them and often numerous follow-up e-mails are necessary to try
and glean what was supposed to be clear from the very first e-mail. Business e-mail requires a specific
style, register and often netiquette. And it is here that most people get it wrong. Many people write e-
mails like they write text messages, as if they are sending a direct message (DM) to a friend. As a
professional communication tool, e-mail tends to be formal at first. Of course, this does not mean that
e-mail is never used as a social chat tool. That happens often enough – ironically at work. Nevertheless,
professional e-mails between you and colleagues, clientele, business partners and the like should
conform to (international) standards and practices. Let us have a closer look at the phenomenon that is
e-mail.

3.2 E-MAIL FOR DUMMIES

What exactly is e-mail? E-mail is initially defined as a means of sending messages (letters) between
computers via the internet, also known as computer-mediated communication. It dates back to the
1970s, when it was used primarily as a communication tool within government organisations and
science institutions (Dürscheid & Frehner, 2013:35). Receiving a message almost immediately after it
has been sent, was revolutionary. It has since become the fastest-growing communication tool for both
personal and business use. This is mainly because e-mail is swift, reduces disturbances (like phone
calls), and gives the recipient time to reflect on the message before they have to reply; it is an ideal
mode of communication for business purposes (Dürscheid & Frehner, 2013:35–36). Over the last
decade, the internet and e-mail have become increasingly accessible to more people, which has led to
more people using e-mail. Products like Microsoft Outlook or GroupWise make e-mail accessible for
professional use, while individuals can open a private account with a variety of web companies like
Yahoo, Gmail and Hotmail. These are usually free and kept separate from work e-mail.

What makes e-mail so accessible is the fact that it need not be connected to a single computer or
communication device such as your cellphone. You can access your e-mail account from any computer
or communication device anywhere in the world, as long as you have access to the internet.

E-mail is also popular because it is so effective. In a business/work setup, e-mail is used to inform,
communicate, enquire and, most importantly, keep a record of the discourse between sender and
receiver. The use of memos and notifications in business has almost completely been replaced by e-
mail. The paper trail left by communicators in businesses and organisations has shrunk and made way
for an e-trail that boasts a great storage and memory/archive capability. In other words, it has helped to
reduce paper usage as well as filing, and it saves a lot of physical storage space. It can also be seen as
“green” communication because it is environmentally friendly.

Other things contribute to making e-mail such an ideal mode of communication.

3.2.1 Cost

Unlike postal mail, the cost of sending an e-mail is not dependent on its weight or the distance you send
it. In fact, you can send an e-mail around the world at minimal cost. This is one of the reasons why e-
mail has proven to be a successful marketing tool: companies can reach their existing or new clients
anywhere in the world at a much lower cost than reaching them by post.

3.2.2 Speed

E-mail messages can be sent and received within a few seconds. No wonder the advocates of e-mail
refer to the postal services as “snail mail”! Because e-mail is a fast-paced and immediate medium, many
businesses that use it for market research can have the whole process carried out within a relatively
short time frame – much quicker than using the postal system. The speed of e-mail makes it ideal for
workers in the communications and public relations industry (such as journalists) with frenetic
schedules and tight deadlines. But its speed also creates the expectation that we respond quickly. It is a
business standard to reply within 24 hours after receipt. Of course, the quicker you respond, the better.

3.2.3 Multiplicity

All e-mail software enables you to include as many e-mail addresses as you wish. Sending an e-mail to
one person is as simple as sending it to many.

If you regularly have to send e-mails to groups of people, you can define fixed groups in your address
book. For example, if you have to send the same message to all the members of a particular committee,
your personal friends, colleagues at other institutions or co-members of a certain society, you can create
an address group for each group of receivers with whom you regularly correspond. When you then send
an e-mail to the group address, it is automatically sent to all the members of that group and you do not
have to select each one’s address individually.

3.3 ANATOMY OF AN E-MAIL

It may seem stupid to some people – maybe even insulting – to provide an overview of the different
parts of an e-mail as well as their functions, but it has become apparent to us that many users do not
know how e-mail is put together. And, there are plenty of know-it-all people who seem to think they
know how to use e-mail, yet they fail in the process.

Let us start by looking at the following example:

James Dean <james.dean@justice.gov.za>

Re: Appointment of new magistrate, Tzaneen district

To Sam Shepard
Cc Elisabeth Taylor; Rock Hudson; Robert Redford
Bcc Judy Garland

Dear colleagues

Kindly take note that the honourable Precious Ringane has been appointed as a new magistrate in the
Tzaneen district. She will take office in two months after completing training in Pretoria.

Regards
James

James Dean
HR Practitioner
Department of Justice
 Tel: 012 336 2528
E-mail: james.dean@justice.gov.za

3.3.1 The e-mail address

Wallwork (2014:1) reminds us that when you e-mail someone for the first time, the recipient will most
likely open your e-mail based on your address, the appearance of your name and the subject line. If the
e-mail address looks bogus or weird, the recipient may go for the delete button instead.

Any e-mail address consists of two parts, namely the username (by which the individual is identified)
and the domain name (indicating the organisation where the individual can be found). If we look at our
example, the username is “james.dean” and the domain name is “justice”, indicating that Mr Dean
works for the Department of Justice. The “gov.za”, also known as a source route, shows that the Justice
Department is part of the government of South Africa. There are a number of abbreviations that give us
an idea of the type of institution or body and every country has its own e-mail and web address code.
The domain name and country code is the safest way to determine whether an address is spam, a virus
or a spider.

There are different ways of constructing the username in an e-mail address. Sometimes people write
their names as one word, sometimes the names are separated by using full stops, an underscore, a
distinction between upper case and lower case letters, and then you will find cryptic usernames that do
not always make sense right away.

Private e-mail addresses use the same structure, but often reveal a creative streak in the account holder.
It is by no means strange to encounter usernames that are weird and wonderful.

Look at the following e-mail address. What do you think? Does it look safe to you?

Mzwandile Xaba <mmbercetche@s10.coopenet.com.ar>

For a start, the sender’s name does not match the recipient’s username. Can you work out what the
domain name is? It looks pretty dodgy to us. This example was taken from a real e-mail that falsely
used Mr Xaba’s identity to send information extractor spam to stolen addresses.

3.3.2 (Blind) carbon copies

If you want to send your e-mail to many different recipients all at once, you can do so by inserting the
relevant addresses in the address field. Sometimes, however, you will find it necessary to also send out
a carbon copy of your message. The function of a carbon copy (CC) is to bring the message to the
attention of another recipient who may be concerned or engaged with the same topic. Have a look at
our example above. Mr Dean is sending an e-mail to Mr Sheppard. Mr Sheppard is the one that the e-
mail is intended for. But Mr Dean clearly thinks it important that Taylor, Hudson and Redford also take
note of the message. When Mr Sheppard reads his e-mail, he can see who else the e-mail was sent to.
The CC option functions almost like a witness. The message is not directed to the recipients in the CC
field, but they are important enough to have been included. You can also CC yourself when you send
someone an e-mail. That way you automatically have a record of the message you sent out to others.

The blind carbon copy (BCC) functions precisely the same as the CC option. The only difference is that
the recipient(s) of the e-mail will not be able to see the names or addresses included in the BCC field.
It is completely private. The BCC option is ideal if you want to send a copy of your e-mail to someone
specific but you do not want any of the other recipients to know who was also included. In our example,
you will notice that Ms Judy Garland received the e-mail, but neither Mr Sheppard nor the rest will be
able to see that Ms Garland was included.

3.3.3 The subject line

The subject line indicates the subject of the e-mail content. This is by far the most important and
effective part of an e-mail. The strength of a subject line will determine whether your e-mail will be
read and, if so, how important the reader will think your message is. Wallwork (2014:3) advises that
you write your subject line with the recipient in mind, and he reminds us that one e-mail can quickly
become a chain involving many people at different stages. For this reason, your subject line should be
clear and sufficient. Because of a subject line’s importance, there are certain guidelines to be followed:

• Keep it short. Ideally, subject lines should not be longer than eight words.

• Make it self-explanatory. The subject line should indicate the content of the message. Vague
and non-specific subject lines (such as “Hi” or “Your message”) should be avoided at all times.

• Only change subject lines when necessary. There is no reason to change the subject line if you
are responding to an e-mail message with a reply that is based on the same topic.

• Do not leave it blank. If your subject line is blank, it obviously provides the recipient(s) with
no idea of the content of the e-mail.

• Do not mislead. People who send unsolicited commercial e-mails often use misleading subject
lines to create the impression that the recipient has dealt with the sender before. Although it
may get the recipients to open the message, the e-mail will most probably be deleted as soon as
they realise they have been misled.

• Some organisations prefer if you put specific information in your subject line, like a reference
number. In the case of Unisa, students often have to put their student number in the subject line
when they communicate with functional departments like Finance or Student Administration.

• Use both cases. Upper case and lower case letters should be used together in the standard way.
A subject line written only in lower case looks sloppy, while one that is written in screaming
capitals creates the idea that the sender is trying too hard to gain the recipient’s attention.

• Be grammatically correct. Bad grammar and poor spelling always send a wrong signal.

Wallwork (2014:4) says that you should indicate if your e-mail requires minimal effort from the
recipient. For instance, using “quick favour”, or “only two minutes” at the start of your subject line. He
also advises a two-part subject line if necessary (Wallwork, 2014:5): The first part imparts one set of
information and the second provides related information. For example: “TEX2601 exam: new venue”.

ACTIVITY 3.1
The time for this activity is ten minutes.

The following subject lines are taken from actual e-mails. What are wrong with them? Try to improve
them where possible.

1. tex260 asignment
2. hello dr clarence please tell me where i can find the example of the press release you said it is
somewhere on myunis but I cant find it and I looked fro two days now i want to do good in my
portfolio please help me dr
3. Exemption request
 4. I was sick during the exam
5. For your attention

3.3.4 The salutation

It is never a good idea to address your e-mail at an anonymous entity. Phrases like “To whom it may
concern” or “Dear sir/madam” are not only out of date, but they generally make a poor impression on
most recipients. Always try to direct your e-mail to someone specific. If you are writing to a new
contact, introduce yourself and say why you are writing to that person (Wallwork, 2014:12).

Once you have a recipient’s name, it may not always be easy to determine that person’s gender title
from their name. The placement of the first name in relation to the family name may also not be clear
(Wallwork, 2014:7). For example, if you are not familiar with Korean names, writing to Park Hyuk
from South Korea may leave you worried if you intend on making a good impression. In this case, it is
better to write out the name in the way you found it without a gender title. Once you can make clearer
inferences from subsequent replies, you can proceed to using a title and the known family name – in
this instance Mr Park. When you reply to someone else’s e-mail for the first time, it is best to stick to
the name as provided by the sender’s signature at the end of the e-mail (Wallwork, 2014:8).

If you do not have a person’s name but you do have their professional designation, then you can use
that instead (see Wallwork, 2014:10). For instance, “Dear Manager of Housekeeping”, “Dear Executive
Editor” and “Dear lecturer”. This approach helps to ensure that the e-mail reaches the correct person in
the event that there is one central e-mail address from which e-mails are allocated.

According to Wallwork (2014:9), it is unnecessary and somewhat cumbersome when you reply to an e-
mail and repeat the person’s title and family name. If the person ended their e-mail with either a gender
or professional title and their family name, that is a clear sign that they want to be addressed that way
throughout the correspondence. This approach keeps a professional distance between you and the
person you are corresponding with. For instance, your lecturer may always sign their e-mails as “Prof
Ringane” or “Mrs Johardien”. It will be unprofessional to do otherwise. However, if someone ends an
e-mail with only their name (“Regards, Jimmy”), then you are allowed to use the first name in your
next reply.

GENDER IDENTITIES

Many people do not identify with traditional gender roles, either because they are non-conforming,
non-binary, intersex or transgender. Often, individuals who prefer to be addressed as they/their/them
or by honorifics like “Mx”, will indicate this in their signature file. You will also notice that some
people will specifically indicate preferred pronouns in brackets after their names. For example: Dr
Alison Brenner (she, her)

3.3.5 Greetings and signatures

A typical professional greeting in the salutation is “Dear”, followed by the recipient’s name. But you
can also greet the contact with “Good morning” or “Good day”. When the conversation has become
less formal, more informal greetings are allowed, like “hello” or “hi” (Wallwork, 2014:15).

The formality of the greeting in the salutation should be reflected in the end greeting as well. You may
want to include phrases like “looking forward to hearing from you” or “awaiting your reply”. But be
careful to put unnecessary pressure on the recipient and try to refrain from using phrases like “thanking
you in advance”, which has very little effect or meaning. If you have nothing else to add, go straight to
the end greeting and use “Kind regards”, “Yours sincerely” or even “Goodbye” in less formal situations.
Endings like “Always yours” or “Yours only” are meant for personal letters (intimate communication)
and should not be used in business communication.
Lastly, include a standard signature at the foot of your message. It should contain your name, position
and full contact details. This performs the same task as a letterhead. You should create an automatic
signature that appears either on every new e-mail or includes replies. The following example is taken
from our e-mail here above:

James Dean
HR Practitioner
Department of Justice
Tel: 012 336 2528
E-mail: james.dean@justice.gov.za

3.3.6 Attachments

Nowadays you can attach pretty much anything to your e-mail: text documents, pictures, sound or video
files, and the like. The only thing that may hinder your sending of an e-mail is the size of the file.
Problems with size can sometimes be solved by cropping the file or by placing it in a zip file. Or better
yet, you can send a link to an external online storage space from where the oversized document can be
accessed.

Always tell your recipient that you have attached a document. Also remind your recipient why you
attached the document. Say explicitly if you want them to do something with it, and indicate what it is
that they need to do (see Wallwork, 2014:71–72). Instruct your recipient if you expect feedback on the
file attached. Only attach a file if placing the information in the body of the e-mail is not possible.

Most importantly; however, remember to actually attach the file before you send the e-mail. It happens
regularly that people send e-mails with the words “find attached” only to find no attachment added.
Lately, if you use the word “attach/attachment”, the e-mail software will prompt you to check for
attachments before sending it. But your e-mail account may not have this feature.

Equally important is security concerns. Make sure the e-mail is from a trustworthy person before you
open any attachment. It may not look like a bogus document to you, but in actual fact it may be a virus
or information extractor that goes to work to steal your information without you noticing.

3.3.7 Automatic replies

Many of us have been in a situation where we send an e-mail to a person or an organisation and receive
no reply. Weeks later, someone replies and gives a half-hearted apology, saying they were on holiday,
at a conference or cite poor internet reception. How were you supposed to know this? If your query was
urgent and you knew that the recipient could not assist, you would have tried a different avenue instead.

Well, there is an easy fix to this problem: automatic replies. Also known as an “out of office”, automatic
replies allow an e-mail user to set up a message that automatically goes out to recipients upon receiving
messages. This is especially helpful when the account user is not able to read and respond to e-mails
regularly because they are away from the office or have limited or unreliable access to an internet
connection. One of the reasons why an automatic reply is a good idea, is because you keep the lines of
communication open, even when you are not physically present. As you will notice later on, it is good
practice to respond to e-mails as soon as you can. An automatic reply allows you to continue this
practice when you are away.

If you do not set up an autoresponder, people will not understand why you are ignoring them. This could
quickly lead to a negative attitude towards you or your institution.
However, formulating a good message is as important as writing a good subject line. Include the
following in your message:

• Tell the reader that you are away and will not be responding to their message immediately.
• Provide dates: tell your reader when you are away and when you will return.
• Give readers an alternative contact person in the event of serious queries.

Some people also inform their readers that they are currently reading an automated message and
encourage them not to reply to it.

Lastly, some people tell their readers why they are away from their offices (holiday, sick leave,
workshop). This probably depends on the place you work at; some may see this as a necessity while
others view this type of information as private.

3.4 REGISTER AND NETIQUETTE

Register is the type of language suitable for a specific situation. Because a business setting expects you
to communicate with people you do not necessarily know (or know well on a personal level), and
because the people you correspond with can either be a rank above or below you, you should adhere to
a formal register. At least until the relationship with your contact has evolved into something less
formal; then you can consider a more casual (but never intimate) register.

Formal language does not imply difficult words or complicated sentence construction. However, you
are expected to keep to standard language and to comply with the spelling and grammar rules of that
language. Furthermore, you should refrain from informal salutations, jokes and weak language. Instead,
you should apply online etiquette.

Put simply, online etiquette, also known as netiquette, are the rules that ensure good manners when
communicating in the online environment. Besides not being rude, it includes aspects like the use of
capital letters (DO NOT SHOUT), the correct use of exclamation marks (never more than one!!!!),
sloppy language, waiting too long to reply, the use of confidential information and the inclusion of
emojis. It goes without saying that informal language that include emojis and shorthand (made with
abbreviations) should be avoided.

Let us look at the register and netiquette in the following e-mail.

Susan James <jamessb@db.co.za>

Re: Me again!

To Andrea du Toit; Allen Hood; Sally Ellis; Bob Fourie; Gerty Coachman; Samantha Martins;
Donald Davidtz; Sean McAllister; Katariina Bjorn
Cc

Hi guys!

i was going through my files and realised that i never upgraded any of your addresses and contact
info! U know how cell phones get stolen… Anyway, i would really appreciate it if u cold send me
your residential and/or postal addresses and the relevant phone numbers. :) as i’ve said, IT’S FOR
MY FILE. The Boss-man said i need to print out a contact list and distribute it - internally of course!!

by the way Sally, the banana bread recipe you gave me works like a charm. It’s delish!
 So boys and girls, send me the stuff so i can upgrade my file.

Thanks!

Susan

Susan James
Personal Assistant
Durban Distributors
Tel: 031 336 2528
E-mail: jamessb@db.co.za

From the example e-mail here above, it is quite obvious that Susan has worked at Durban Distributors
for a long time and that she knows the people in the contact list professionally to some extent. This
explains her use of a casual register. She is chatty with her colleagues, which is okay if the e-mail is
internal and has a straightforward purpose, like updating her address list.

However, she makes many mistakes that contribute towards a poor business e-mail. Firstly, her subject
line is vague and does not inform colleagues of the reason for the e-mail. Secondly, the salutation may
be considered by some of her colleagues as condescending. The same can be said for addressing her
colleagues as “boys and girls”. Thirdly, her e-mail contains many spelling errors and grammar mistakes.
Her use of an emoticon, exclamation marks, unmotivated upper case words and repetition is a fourth
breach of netiquette. It is furthermore irregular and very unprofessional to refer to your boss as the
“boss-man”. Susan makes another mistake when she includes a personal note to Sally. This should be
a separate e-mail altogether.

If Susan’s e-mail to her colleagues looks like this, then her e-mails to external contacts may look the
same. It goes without saying that she will not make a good impression on anyone if her register is too
informal and her e-mail does not adhere to netiquette. Unfortunately, her e-mail will not solely reflect
badly on her, but on the company as a whole.

ACTIVITY 3.2
The time for this activity is ten minutes.

Improve Susan James’s e-mail by rewriting it to reflect appropriate netiquette.

3.5 POLITENESS AND DIPLOMACY

Imagine you are a lecturer at an institution for higher learning and you receive the following e-mail:

LBF Ntibane <1121147@mzanzi-u.ac.za>

To: Moloto, Eunice

RE:

Lecture

I still wait my results!!! Why you ignore me. I phone marra no one answers. I send all my assignments
but you don’t mark them. I get my 2nd assignment back, but you did not mark it. why? mzanzi-u
makes me suffer. I suffer lecture!
How must the lecturer, Dr Moloto, respond? Keeping in mind that Dr Moloto probably has a lot of work
and has thousands of students, her first reaction may be to reply with a stern e-mail instructing the
student to write a proper message. The message has no subject line, it is not clear what the student wants
the lecturer to do and the lecturer has no idea which module the student is referring to.

What about the next e-mail? The customer wrote his first e-mail to the service provided 30 minutes ago:

Thursday 2019/08/22 11h35

James B Franky <spankfrank@gmail.com>

To: info@cateringqueen.co.za
FW: Quote for 65

Dear lazy bones

When (?!) can I expect the quote I asked for? Or should I take my business elsewhere?

>>>James B Franky 2019/08/22 11h00<<<

Dear Catering Queen

I’m hosting a party for 65 adults. Will you please quote me per head for a three-course meal. Please
include serve ware, cutlery and transportation in the quote. Two of the guests are vegan and would
need a special menu. You can quote them separately.

Will you also forward your set menu to me for perusal?

Thank you.
James

083-555-6636
spankfrank@gmail.com
24 Red Flower Ave
Florida, 0225
Joburg

I think you will agree that it is unreasonable of James Franky to expect a response in 30 minutes. His
follow up is rude to say the least. What would have been a better reminder by Franky? And how should
Catering Queen respond to him?

Wallwork (2014:42) recommends a soft approach. This means that you start by saying something
positive; try to avoid words that create strong imperatives (like “must”, “have to”, “should”). Try your
best not to react emotionally. If you are worked up by the message, give yourself some time and return
to it a few minutes later (Bradberry, 2015). If you find it necessary to criticise a letter, limit yourself to
constructive criticism, and always be sincere (Wallwork, 2014:45). Ending your e-mail with a friendly
tone will go a long way to ensure a healthy relationship with your correspondent (Wallwork, 2014:49).

It is important to pay attention to the tone in your writing. Pay close attention to the words you use to
express your tone; it can easily be construed as sarcastic, rude, uncertain, cruel, snide or cynical. Of
course, the opposite is also true. Your tone can be friendly, helpful, supportive, sensitive, kind, honest
and excited.

Let us look at possible replies to the two examples above:

 Response to Mzanzi-U student:

Dear Ms Ntibane

Thank you for writing to me. I would like to help you, but I need some information from you.

Which module are you referring to?

I’m not certain why your phone call did not get through to me. Just to confirm, my number is 011
232 5572. However, I think it is much better to communicate through e-mail; that way you have a
record of our correspondence.

Do you mind explaining to me again what you want me to do for you? Do you want me to check on
your semester marks? Or, do you want me to see what happened to your second assignment?

Kind regards
Dr E Moloto

Tips for communicating with your lecturer:

• Remember to include a subject line.
• Remember to include your student number.
• Remember to include your module code.
• Remember to state your problem clearly.
• Remember to check your e-mail for spelling and language mistakes.

Dr Moloto uses white space to prevent her message from looking like an intimidating block of text.
This way she also assures that the reader will see each of her points separately. She starts her reply with
a friendly statement. Instead of blaming or accusing the student of lying or of phoning the wrong
number, she diplomatically provides her telephone number and insists on continuing with e-mail; this
way she too has a record of assisting the student. She ends her e-mail with tips, which serves as an
indirect criticism on the student’s sloppy e-mail, but also acts as a handy checklist for future
correspondences.

Response to James Franky:

Dear Mr Franky

Thank you for contacting us for a quote. Our sincere apologies for not replying any sooner; we would
like to be of service. I have forwarded your information to the kitchen manager who will get back to
me before noon tomorrow.

Would you like us to provide drinks as well?

In the meantime, please see our vegan menu, which I have attached for your attention. Would you let
me know which option we should include in the quote? All options cost the same.

Regards
Phakathi
Similar to Dr Moloto’s response, Phakathi’s reply is friendly and helpful. There is no hint of frustration
or annoyance in Phakathi’s tone. Even though Catering Queen did nothing wrong, Phakathi chose to
apologise anyway, invoking the rule that the customer is always right. He already knows that James
Franky will be a difficult customer, but he would rather gain his business than go without it. Also,
Phakathi’s response will work towards softening Franky’s sarcastic hostility.

It is good practice to imagine how the receiver will react to your e-mail. How will they interpret the
words you used? Wallwork (2014:51–54) says it is best to gauge your language, especially when the
language you are corresponding in is not your mother tongue. He advises e-mail writers to reduce
aggressive language. Do not use phrases like “For your information”, “Do I need to remind you?” or
“This is the second time that I have written to you …” (Wallwork, 2014:53–54). These and similar
phrases come across as angry and annoyed. It also creates the impression that you feel the need to
express your own opinion on the matter. Wallwork (2014:53) suggests the following three tricks to
soften your message:

• Use contractions – instead of using a formal tone (I would prefer if you phone me back), you
settle for a slightly more informal tone (I’d prefer if you’d phone me back). A very formal tone
will create a cold distance between you and the correspondent. Of course, some business
communications require a formal tone and distance.
• Use the passive voice – it will stress the action instead of the person, in this case the
correspondent; (the quote will be sent to you as soon as possible / I will send the quote to you
as soon as possible).
• Use the indefinite article where possible – this makes the thing you refer to less direct; (a quote
will be sent to you shortly / the kitchen manager will send you the quote shortly).

If you cannot respond immediately, reply by acknowledging receipt and say when you intend on
replying.

3.6 LANGUAGE, PUNCTUATION AND ABBREVIATION

It should be clear by now that spelling and grammar matter. Many e-mail accounts now have software
that check for spelling and grammar mistakes; some even use predictive text software and can help you
finish your sentences. These kinds of software programmes make life easier and help you save time,
especially when you write in a popular language like English. However, you may not always be writing
in English. Not all languages have editing software (yet), which means that you need to check your text
for mistakes before you send it out.

Also remember that spelling and grammar software do not pick up on register or tone like a human
being can. It cannot determine if your word choice or sentence structure conveys a sarcastic meaning,
or whether you are being rude. And, if you use the incorrect words, but they are spelt correctly, the
editing software will not be able to pick up on an obvious mistake. Look at the examples below.

“When you arrive, enter the foyer and write down our mane in the register.”
“I’m sorry to hear about your bed news.”
“I won’t come into work tomorrow, seeing as its a pubic holiday.”
“I can knot sea the many miss steaks in my massage.”

All of the words used in the four example sentences above pass the spell check. At the time of writing,
our software suggested that words like “its”, “pubic” and “massage” could be incorrect and may need
replacing. The rest went undetected. Maybe these mistakes do not come across as too problematic. But
imagine your lecturer or an administrator at a firm receives a letter from you referring to your “bed
news”, or a “pubic affair”. If it is not unprofessional, it surely is embarrassing. Therefore, check your
spelling and grammar even if you have software that automatically does it for you.
Spelling and grammar are not the only aspects that can create a positive or poor impression. Punctuation
is equally important, and it actually contributes to the meaning being conveyed. By now the following
meme is quite famous: “Let’s eat grandma” as opposed to “Let’s eat, grandma”. Without proper
punctuation, the recipient of your e-mail may be left confused or they may end up doing something
contrary to what you expected. Court cases have been fought on the use or absence of commas. Often
people will leave out full stops and use commas sparingly, yet they will use exclamation marks in
abundance. Make sure about the punctuation conventions in your language and apply those accordingly.

Use abbreviations and acronyms sparingly and only when they will be familiar to the recipient of your
e-mail. Using too many abbreviations will lead to confusion. Avoid using abbreviations in shorthand;
that is best left for social chats between friends and family.

3.7 TYPES OF CONTENT

We generally do not send e-mails to colleagues and business partners willy-nilly. We are always
motivated by a specific need to communicate. E-mails are sent to inform, request, persuade or for phatic
reasons like gossiping. In the same vein, we usually reply to e-mails to either provide information, fulfil
a request, act on persuasion or partake in the gossiping. Let us look at the general principles when
creating content for your e-mail.

3.7.1 Make a request

When you need to ask something of someone by e-mail, it is best to keep things simple and to limit
yourself to one or two requests per mail. Wallwork (2014:19) warns us that if we include too many
requests simultaneously, the recipient may be less willing to assist and will either ignore your e-mail or
address only the easiest petition. Motivate your recipient to comply by

• explaining the importance of the request (but keep it brief and do not be condescending)
• providing clear instructions on what to do (and if necessary, how to do it)
• providing a deadline
• using text design features like headings or bold text to highlight certain aspects (see Wallwork,
2014:19–20)

Make sure to formulate sentences in easy-to-understand language and use more white space and less
text. Furthermore, if you have no other choice but to include three or more requests in one e-mail,
inform your recipient of the number of requests from the start and clearly distinguish between the
different requests (Wallwork, 2014:23–24).

If you have many or difficult requests, then start your e-mail with a friendly buffer. A typical buffer
would either sympathise with or compliment the recipient. Wallwork (2014:26) provides the following
examples:

• I know that you are very busy ...

• I’m sorry to bother you ...
• I’m in need of your help ...
• I have an urgent problem that needs your expertise ...

Let us look at the following example.

Susan James <jamessb@db.co.za>

 Request: student enrolment stats
To Andrea du Toit
Cc

Dear Andrea

I know you’re currently overwhelmed by queries, but I find myself in a tight spot and wouldn’t be
bothering you if I had any other choice. I’d really appreciate your help.

I have to compile a report on student enrolments in our department in order for management to
calculate cost units. Will you please provide me with the following information?

total number of students for 2019

total number of female students
total number of male students
total number of students according to language preference

I need the data in Rich Text Format.

My report is due in five working days. Will you be able to assist by Wednesday, 17 August? Will
four days be enough?

Please let me know if there is something I can do in return to lighten the load?

Regards
Susan

It is not only important to know how to make a polite request, but it is also worth knowing how to reply
to one. Your reply can have an impact on your relationship with that person.

Try not to delay a reply. But if you do reply somewhat late, start with a sincere apology. Give a brief
reason for your delay. Try not to provide information that may annoy the recipient. It is better to state
that you missed the e-mail or that you were stuck in meetings all day, than to explain you simply forgot
to reply because you were on a road trip with friends (see Wallwork, 2014:27). The sender wants to
know that they are important and that you do not consider their request a waste of time (even if you do
…). Unless you want to be known as an unpleasant human being, try to reply to the request in a friendly
and polite manner, even when you cannot fulfil the request. Look at the following example.

Hi Susan

Yes, it’s quite busy on my end, but hey, it pays the bills, right?

I’d love to assist you, but I really am swamped. However, please contact Nthombi at
xabanl@db.co.za; she’s a whiz with our stats program and will gladly assist.

Hope to see you in the tearoom soon – If I’m not swallowed whole, that is.

Andrea
 ACTIVITY 3.3

How would you reply to the following request? Think of a reply in which you comply with the
request and one in which you turn it down.

Dear Andrea

I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m in dire need of your help. I’m forced to book a flight for Larry on
the new iTravel system. I have no idea how it works. Is there any chance that you could come to my
office this afternoon and show me what to do?

Best
Sally

3.7.2 Send reminders/follow up

In reality, many people are quite tardy when it comes to responding to e-mails. It is a pity, because a
weak response rate has a proven negative result. People will learn that you are untrustworthy, which
will result in them not respecting you or the place you work for (see Eurich, 2015). It also means that
the sender of the e-mail has to do the same work twice, which causes a delay in finalising their task. If
you are a client or customer and you do not receive a response, you will most likely take your business
elsewhere. That is why responsiveness should be a priority (Eurich, 2015).

A lack of response often makes it necessary for you to follow up. Start by being diplomatic in your
reminder (Wallwork, 2014:33). Because, no matter how frustrated or mad you may be, you are still
dealing with a human being on the other side (Bradberry, 2015). The truth of the matter is that we do
not necessarily know why the recipient is not responding. It will not necessarily help your cause to be
rude or to give the recipient a dressing down because they have not responded yet. It is quite easy to
hide behind an e-mail and be mean, knowing that you will not be confronting the recipient face to face.

Try to stay friendly and even empathise with the receiver’s potential heavy workload; this will show
that you understand their situation (Wallwork, 2014:33). Continue by explaining the urgency of your
request and by reminding them that you depend on them (Wallwork, 2014:34–35). You may consider
giving the recipient a new deadline or to reduce your request to the bare essentials; you can also indicate
to the receiver what it is that they need to do in order to assist you (Wallwork, 2014:35). However, be
careful not to offend the receiver – they may think that you are insinuating that they do not know how
to do the job.

Of course, if you are the one that needs to respond to a reminder because you did not respond the first
time, then apologise and indicate when you will be able to provide the requested information. Be honest.
Do not say you will provide the sender with an answer by the end of the day if you cannot, or have no
intentions to do it.

3.7.2 Persuade someone

Sometimes it is necessary to persuade someone by e-mail. There may be many different reasons why
this is so. For instance, you have to convince your boss to allow you to work from home for a few days.
Or, you want to convince your team members to steer a project in a new direction. Maybe you are forced
by your employer to be part of a communications group like WhatsApp and now want to influence your
co-workers to cease using this group for social reasons. Ultimately, you want a reader to take action. In
order to persuade a reader to action, you must capture their attention and arouse interest. Similar
strategies used for marketing may apply here.
First of all, know your audience (Ye, 2016). Who are you writing to? Are you writing to one person or
many? Are they seniors, subordinates or of equal rank? If you fail to understand the group you are
targeting, your e-mail will not be very successful. Secondly, make sure you have done your homework.
Do not try to persuade a reader if you are not certain of your facts. Thirdly, make sure you limit your
persuasive message to one specific goal and state that goal clearly (Battons, 2018). Your reader should
not wonder what your e-mail is about; instead, explain to your reader what the purpose of the e-mail is
(Battons, 2018). The purpose of your e-mail is connected to a valid reason for your message. Ye (2016)
indicates that people will be more willing to comply with a request if an honest explanation is offered.
Furthermore, remind your reader what they stand to gain (Geuens, 2018). People tend to be more easily
persuaded if they know they will benefit from your request.

Be careful not to venture in with guns blazing. This could cause your readers to get annoyed with you
and to stop reading. Or they may respond immediately by saying “no”. This could jeopardise all future
attempts at persuading the same audience.

If writing a persuasive text is a daunting task, you may want to apply a framework used by copywriters
(see Geuens, 2018). There are many different frameworks available (e.g. AIDCA, PPPP, AFOREST),
which may be better suited to your specific needs. One of the frameworks that could work well to
persuade readers by e-mail (unrelated to marketing), is the PAS framework: Problem – Agitate – Solve.
You start by indicating the problem to your reader. You then agitate the issue by convincing the reader
just how bad the problem really is, and how much worse it could get. You end by providing a solution.
The solution is the end result of your request. Let us look at the following examples.

Example 1: To persuade your boss to work from home (PAS framework)

Dear Johnathan

I am grateful that the company is renovating our building, which has been a long time coming. And
I’m looking forward to the new kitchen and restroom facilities once renovations are done. [buffer]

The renovation team is currently working on our floor and the noise level has increased dramatically.
It is difficult to concentrate on the reports I am busy writing (four of them). With the due date looming,
I’m afraid I won’t be able to finish in time. [problem]

I’m certain you are aware of Cynthia’s recurring migraines and that Thabiso has been vomiting
occasionally since Monday due to noise pollution? I’d very much like to avoid any occupational
health and safety hazards while renovations continue on our floor for the next week and a half.
[agitate]

Will you therefore grant me the flexibility to work from home for the next few days in order to
complete my reports in time and deliver my best? [solution]

Kindest
Mo

In this example, Mo wants to work from home. He writes to his boss and presents his problem – he
cannot do his work due to disturbances caused by the ongoing renovations. He agitates the problem by
referring to two colleagues who have suffered because of the renovations. As an added measure, Mo
refers to “occupational health and safety”, which is a direct reference to legislation, suggesting that the
employer is forcing them to work in unhealthy conditions. He offers a solution, that is to work from
home. Not only does he imply that he will finish his work, but he will deliver his best; he will excel.
 Example 2: Persuading homeowners to install fibre

Dear valued members of the Modesmar Homeowners Association

You will recall that our association was recently approached by a company called FFC, a fibre
installation business. The trustees asked owners to indicate whether MHA should have the fibre
installed. At the time, the installation fee included two security cameras. However, the majority of
homeowners voted against the installation because they thought it too costly. [problem]

A lack of fibre connectivity will cost us more in the long run. The fact that MHA has suffered two
break-ins and one attempted hijacking inside the premises should be a good indication of this. Our
security system, which includes only one camera, uses old internet connections that have become
increasingly expensive without much benefit. Apart from our lacking security, the MHA consists of
no less than four owners who work from home and need good internet connectivity to earn a decent
living. [agitate]

I have approached FFC once more and asked them to reconsider extending a new deal to us. I would
therefore like the trustees to send out a new request for consideration and to present owners with the
document I have compiled. It lists the many benefits of fibre, including what we will save on
operational costs. [solution]

Best
Bogale
(Modesmar 607)

In this example, Bogale highlights the issue of fibre installation; he wants fibre but most of his fellow
homeowners do not. He agitates the problem by stressing recent criminal activity, playing on readers’
fears and their sense of financial loss. As an added measure, he refers to those owners who could benefit
in terms of their livelihood, implying that homeowners could be a little less selfish and practise ubuntu.
However, Bogale also shows that he has gone the extra mile and has done a lot of the footwork already.
Even though the ideal is for the MHA to agree to fibre installation, Bogale’s first attempt at persuasion
is to the trustees and homeowners to reconsider.

Both examples present readers with a problem. They focus on one goal and formulate relevant reasons.
It is also clear from both e-mails that the reader stands to benefit from the approval of the request. Both
e-mails are quite clear in what they want to achieve.

ACTIVITY 3.4
The time for this activity is 15 minutes.

Use the details below and write a persuasive e-mail using the PAS framework.

You teach the subject Banking Law at a university. Currently, this module (BKL111), uses a venue-
based examination for its summative assessment. You want to change the summative assessment to
a final assessment assignment. This means that students will receive the assessment when they
register for the module. There are a number of reasons why this assessment will be to students’
benefit. You write an e-mail to your head of department, asking her for support in your submission
to the Tuition Committee in your faculty who is responsible for approving these changes.

3.7.3 Give bad news

A bad-news message conveys negative or unpleasant information (like rejection, negative evaluations
and announcements with new implications), which will most likely disappoint or upset the receiver
(Nordquist, 2019). No one enjoys receiving bad news. The goal of such a letter is to encourage
acceptance and for the sender to retain a positive image. For this reason, and the fact that your
relationship with the sender of the bad news should remain intact, the bad-news letter is structured in a
certain way. Your letter should never report the bad news flat out and leave the receiver to deal with
the news on their own.

A bad-news letter generally consists of four parts:

• buffer
• reasons
• bad news
• a friendly and helpful end

The letter starts by using a buffer. The buffer is a neutral but friendly sentence or short paragraph that
does not mention the bad news yet (Naczelnik, 2018). The idea is to cushion the bad news and to prepare
the reader for what is to come (Farooq, 2015; Nordquist, 2019). Farooq (2015) points out that you
should never apologise in your buffer; instead, watch your tone and avoid using redundant sentences or
phrases.

The second part of your letter delivers the reasons for the bad news. This section is quite important,
because the reader must understand why they were rejected. If this paragraph is written poorly, the
reader will either not understand or they may become very negative very soon. Farooq (2015) says that
a well-written paragraph will help readers understand the fairness and logic behind the decision, and
that it was justified. He suggests that you start by writing positive points and work your way to the less
positive points.

Once you are happy with the buffer and the reasons, you need to deliver the blow by providing the bad
news. Because the bad news may still come as a surprise or a huge disappointment, it remains necessary
to formulate the bad news in a non-threatening tone. Make use of polite hedging and include information
on substitutes, if possible (Farooq, 2015).

Lastly, end your letter with a friendly tone and by indicating any further support or encouragement, if
necessary. However, be careful not to create false hope or expectations.

E-mails 1 and 2 below reflect the four elements as suggested in our discussion. E-mails 3 and 4 are
examples of poor letters that should be avoided.

Bad-news e-mail 1:

Thank you for nominating me as chairperson for the IOBL’s executive committee. I see this as a
positive sign that you not only trust my leadership skills but you also value my loyalty and dedication
to the organisation. [buffer]

I have recently been tasked with overseeing the establishment of BILBOA’s new head office in Dakar
(Senegal). This new development will take me to Dakar for a period of 18 months during which I will
coordinate the relocation of existing personnel and the appointment of local staff. [reasons]

As a result, I am unable to give IOBL my full attention and therefore need to decline your kind
nomination. [bad news]
This doesn’t mean that you can’t call on me when necessary or ask me to assist where possible. I’m
still here to support you in any way I can. [friendly/helpful end]

Gratefully yours

XXX

Bad-news e-mail 2:

You recently applied for a Beckworth Scholarship to continue your studies in Jamaica for a period of
six months. The selection committee was impressed by your essay expressing your outlook on
language and its impact on society as well as your eagerness to investigate this phenomenon in
Kingston. [buffer]

The Beckworth Trust sponsors four students annually to gain experience, both personally and
academically, in the West Indies by providing the necessary funds and administrative support. This
year, the Trust was overwhelmed by 2 500 applications, which has forced the Trust to employ stricter
selection criteria. [reason]

For this reason, we have to inform you that your application for 2020 was, unfortunately,
unsuccessful. [bad news]

Your application showed a lot of promise; we therefore encourage you to apply again once the new
call is distributed. We have also included information on similar scholarship opportunities for the
West Indies, which you will find at the end of this letter. [friendly end]

Kindest regards

XXX

Bad-news e-mail 3:

we don’t stock this thing

Bad-news e-mail 4:

Your application was unsuccessful. Thank you for applying.

ACTIVITY 3.5
The time for this activity is 15 minutes.

Use the structure for bad-news e-mails and write a bad-news reply for the following scenarios.

1. Nathi Impi bought tickets to ComicCon Africa (CCA) but, due to unforeseen circumstances, he
can no longer attend. They were very expensive (weekend pass with daily transport between
his hotel and the venue). He writes to the organisers asking for a refund. CCA writes back that
it is not possible.
2. Fahria Ishmail writes to her lecturer asking permission to submit her second assignment, two
weeks after the deadline. She cites her aunt’s recent funeral as the reason for the delay. The
lecturer writes back, explaining why this is not possible.
3. Jaco de Jager applied for a position as geologist at the Imoya Platinum Mine. He did not get the
position.
By now it should be obvious that a business e-mail is a valuable communication tool that should not be
underestimated or taken for granted. Used correctly, it can add great value to your endeavours; used
poorly, it can cause a lot of unnecessary damage.

3.8 SUMMARY

In this lesson, we had a look at the anatomy of an e-mail and what the different parts are meant to do.
We looked at the different points that make e-mail the ideal mode of communication, especially inside
organisations. And finally, we studied the different ways that users can create content and respond to e-
mails which they have received.

SELF-REFLECTION

It is almost impossible, in South Africa at least, not to write angry e-mails or to send scathing replies.
Have you been in a situation where you wrote an e-mail when you were mad or upset? Thinking back
to those instances, how could you have done things differently?

BIBLIOGRAPHY
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communication, edited by SC Herring, D Stein & T Virtanen. Berlin: De Gruyter:35–54.
Eurich, T. 2015. The hidden costs of ignoring email. Available online:
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Farooq, U. 2015. Bad news messages – how to write bad news messages. Available online:
https://www.businessstudynotes.com/others/business-communication/how-to-write-bad-news-
messages/ (accessed 30 September 2020).
Geuens, R. 2018. The beginner’s guide to writing highly persuasive emails. Available online:
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Naczelnik, S. 2020. Writing a business letter to deliver bad news (with examples). Available online:
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2020).
Nordquist, R. 2019. Effective bad-news messages in business writing. Available online: (accessed 30
September 2020).
Wallwork, A. 2014. Email and commercial correspondence: a guide to professional English. New
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Ye, L. 2016. 7 powerful ways to make your email more persuasive. Available online:
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