1.

Chak De India – Shahrukh Khan – 70 minute dialogue

sattar minute
sattar minute hai tumhare paas
shayad
tumhari zindagi ke sabse khaas
sattar minute
aaj tum accha khelo ya bura
yeh sattar minute tumhe
zindagi bhar yaad rahenge
toh kaise khelna hai
aaj main tumhe nahi batayunga
bas itna kahunga
ki jaayo
aur yeh sattar minute
jee bhar ke khelo
kyunki iske baad aane wali zindagi mein
chahe sahi ho ya na ho
chahe kuch rahe ya na rahe
tum haaro ya jeeto
lekin yeh sattar minute
tumse koi nahi cheen sakta
koi nahi

2. Tamasha – Ranbir Kapoor

Ek din yahan se bahut door

Dil aur Duniya ke beech
Apne hero ko ek saathi mila

Saathi ne kaha:
“Hi”
Hero ne kaha:
“HELLO”
Saathi ne kaha:
“kya haal chaal? Sab Theek?”
(winks)
Hero ne kaha:
“FINE! THANKYOU. HOW ARE YOU?”
Saathi ne kaha:
“Yaar tum aise kyun baat krte ho?”
“KAISE?”
“Aise machine wali awaaz main”
“KYA MATLAB”
“Matlab yeh ki Jo….
Arre ruko jaa kahan rahe ho”
“MAIN RUK NAHIN SAKTA, RUKUNGA TO MAR JAUNGA”
“Mar jaoge?”
“MAIN RACE MAIN BHAAG RAHA HOON”
“ohhh k ;) toh kaunsi race ha yeh”
“MAIN NAHIN JAANTA”
“Tun mahin jaante kaun si race hai yeh to bhaag kyon rahe ho”
“KYUNKI SAB BHAAG RAHE HAIN….ISLIYE MAIN BHI BHAAG RAHA HOON”
“Arrey kyun bhaag rahe hain sab? Koi ruk ke puch kyun nahin raha hai?”
“KYA”
“kyun?”
“WHO KYA HOTA HAI”
“Who kya hota hai? Arrey kyun apna kyun…tum kyun nahin jaante”
(dialed wrong number expression)
“Acha chodo jaane do! Kya farak padta hai kaunsi race hai…Jab tak jeet rahe hain…First
to aate ho na race main”
“NO”
“Second?”
“NO”
“Third!”
“NO”
“Abey 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th,….?”
(dialed wrong number expression)
“Yaani ke beech main kahin aate ho in sabke? Beech wale ho tum”
“HAAN MAIN MEDIOCRE HOON. AAM AADMI REGULAR ORDINARY”

3. Damini – Sunny Deol

Chaddha samjhao ise aise khilone bazaar mein bahut milte hain par inse
khelne ke liye jo jigar chahiye na wo duniya ke kisi baazar mein nahin
milta,mard usay lekar paida hota hai aur jab yeh dhai kilo ka haath kisi pe
padta hain na to admi uthta nahin uth jaata hai!

Aur aaj aap phir se tareekh de rahe hain us tareekh se pehle sadak pe koi
truck mujhe maar kar chala jayega aur case banega road accidient ka aap
phir se tareekh de denge aur us tareekh se pehle damini ko pagal bana ke
pagal khane phenk diya jayega…Aur is tarah na to koi sachchai ke liye ladne
wala rahega na insaaf maangne waala.

Reh Jaayegi to sirf Taarikh…aur yahi hota raha hai me Lord…TAARIKH PE

TAARIKH.. TAARIKH PE TAARIKH…TAARIKH PE TAARIKH AUR TAARIKH
PE TAARIKH MILTI RAHI HAI…Lekin insaaf nahi mila my lord insaaf nahi
mila…Mili hai to sirf ye Taarikh.

4. A Wednesday – Naseeruddin Shah

Aapke Ghar Me Cockroach Aata Hai To Aap Kya Karte Hai Rathore Sahab, Aap Usko Palte
Nahi Marte Hai. Ye Charo Cockroach Mera Ghar Ganda Kar Rahe The, Aur Aaj Mai Aapna
Ghar Saaf Karna Chahta Hu.

Mai Wo Hu Jo Aaj Bus Aur Train Me Chadne Se Darta Hai, Mai Wo Hu Jo Kaam Pe Jaata
Hai To Uski Biwi Ko Lagta Hai Ki Jung Par Jaa Raha Hai, Pata Nahi Lautega Yaa Nahi, Har
Do Ghante Baad Phone Karti Hai Ki Chai Pee Ki Nahi? Khana Khaya ki Nahi? Darasal Wo Ye
Janna Chahti Hai KI Mai Jinda Hu Yaa Nahi. Mai Wo Hu Jo Kabhi Barsaat Me Phasta
Hai,Kabhi
 Blast Me. Mai Wo Hu Jo Kabhi Kisi Ke Haath Me Tasbih Dekhkar Shak Karta Hai. Aur Mai
Wo Bhi Hu Jo AajKal Daadi Badan
Aur Topi Pahanne Se Ghabrata Hai, Business Ke Liye Dukan Kharidta Hai To Sochata Hai Ki
Naam Kya Rakhu.. Kanhi Dange Me Mera Naam Dekhkar Meri Dukaan Naa Jala De.
Jhagada Kisi Ka Bhi Ho Bewajah Marta Mai Hi Hu.. Bhid To Dekhi Hogi Naa Aapne , Bhid Me
Se Koi Ak Shakl Chun Lijiye, Mai Wo Hu. I Am Just A Stupid Comman Man , Wanting To
Clean His House.

5. Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman - Nana Patekar

Hindu ko namaskar nahi bolega,
Musalman ko salaam nahi karega,
Christian ko good morning nahi bolega …
kyun ki apan yahan language ka
lafda karne nahi aiyla
Yeh duniya banane waala apni hi duniya mein aakar besaharam ho gaya …
tu kis khet ki mooli hai?
Sunday ke baad monday, rupaye ke char ande …
khaye kisi aur ne dande,
ab raj kar rahe hai mushtande
Sadak pe tamasha karne waala aur dekhne waala …
dono ka taqdeer kharab hai
Is ulti duniya ko sar ke bal khade hokar dekhoge toh seedhi nazar aayegi
Phatte huye joote ke chedh se us paar dekhoge na,
haqeeqat nazar aayegi ..
joota bada duniya choti nazar aayegi …
kismat phatke haath mein aa jayegi
Is Bambai shehar mein jhagda karne se sar phoote na phoote …
lekin mohabbat karne se dil tootne ka guarantee

6. Haider – Shahid Kapoor

hello
Hello..
Mic testing 1,2 3 Hello…
Awaz aa rahi hai aap logo ko? hello..
hello, hello, hello, hello, hello…
UN Council Resolution no 47 of 1948

Article 2 of the geneva convention

and article 370 of the Indian constitution
bas ek sawal uthata hai bas ek..

Hum hain ke hum nahin..

hum hain to kaha hain aur aur nahi hai to kaha gaye, hum hai to kisliye aur
kaha gaye to kab?
Janaab, hum they bhi ya hum they hi nahi…

7. Om Shanti Om – Deepika Padukone

Ek chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jaano Ramesh babu; ishwar ka aashirwad hota hai
ek chutki sindoor; suhagan ke sarr ka taj hota hai ek chutki sindoor; har aurat ka khwab
hota hai ek chutki sindoor

8. Deewar – Amitabh Bachchan

“aaj ...khush to bahut hoge tum। Dekho... jo aaj tak tumhaare mandir kee seedhiyaaN
naheeN chaDha ..jisne aaj tak tumhaare saamne sar naheeN jhukaayaa...jisne aaj tak
kabhi tumhaare saamne haath nahee joDe ... woh... aaj tumhaare saamne haath
phailaaye khaDaa hai।

bahut khush hoge tum...bahut khush hoge ki aaj maiN...yahaaN aayaa...lekin tum jaante
ho ki jis waqt main yahaaN khaDaa hoon...woh aurat, jiske maathe se tumhaaree
chaukhaT ka patthar ghis gayaa, wo aurat, jispar zulm baDhe, to uskee poojaa baDhee,
wo aurat jo zindagi bhar jaltii rahee magar tumhaare mandir meN deep jalaatee
rahee ...WOH AURAT...woh aurat aaj zindagi aur maut ki sarhad par khaDee hai.

kyaa qasoor hai uskaa, kaunsaa paap, kaunsa jurm kiyaa hai usne. kyaa uskaa jurm ye
hai ki wo merii maa hai, kya uskaa jurm ye hai ki usne mujhe janam diyaa hai, kyaa
uskaa jurm ye hai ki main usse pyaar kartaa hooN. ye...ye kis jurm kee sazaa dee jaa
rahee hai use?”

9. Kal Ho Na Ho – Shahrukh Khan

Naina kaash mein tumhe bataa sakta, mein tumhe kitna chahta hoon. I love you, I love
you very very much Naina. Main aankhein band karta hoon toh tumhe dekhta hoon,
aankhein kholta hoon toh tumhe dekhna chahta hoon. Tum paas nahin hoti toh tumhe
charon taraf mehsoos karta hoon. Har pal har ghadi har waqt mere naina mere Naina ko
doondhte hain. Ise pyar kaho, paagalpan ya mere dil ki dhadkan. Mere liye ek hi baat
hai. Pyaar toh bahut log karte hain, lekin mere jaisa pyar koi nahin kar sakta, kyonki kisi
ke paas tum jo nahin ho. Main tumhe bhool nahin sakta Naina. Main tumhe bhoolna hi
nahin chahta. Tum meri ho, main tumhe zindagi bhar pyar karoonga. Marte dam tak pyar
karoonga aur uske baad bhi.

10. DDLJ – Shahrukh Khan

Toh kya hua agar maine jhooth sirf tumhe paane ke liye kaha tha? Toh kya hua agar
tumhare chehre ke siva mujhe koi aur chehra dikhayi nahi deta? Toh kya hua agar
tumhare naam ke siva mujhe koi aur naam yaad nahi rehta? Toh kya hua agar yeh
awara tumhe deewano ki tarah pyar karta hai? Toh kya hua? Pyaar sab kuch toh nahi
hota na…

11. Namak Halal – Amitabh Bachchan

I know such English that I will leave the British behind. You see sir, I can talk
English, I can walk English, I can laugh English, I can run English, because
English is such a funny language. Bhairo becomes Byron because their minds are
very narrow. In the year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the Melbourne
stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant told
Vijay Hazare "Look Vijay Hazare Sir, this is a very prestigious match and we must
consider it very prestigiously. We must take this into consideration, the
consideration that this is an important match and ultimately this consideration
 must end in a run." In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at
the Wankhede stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and they
took the same consideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, "Look Wasim Bari, we
must consider this consideration and considering that this is an important match
we must put this consideration into action and ultimately score a run." And both
of them considered the consideration and ran and both of them got out.

12. Amar Akbar Anthony – Amitabh Bachchan

“Bas, Ho gaya Pitai. Khush. Khush
Tere ko hum iska wasteich bolta tha, ki daru mat pi mat pi mat pi
Ki Daru kharab cheez hai
Tu agar daru nahin piyela hota to kya who jaira tere ko marne ko sakta
Nahin tu bolt ere to marne ko sakta
Arrey Anthony bhai tum akela hi 10-10 aadmi ko marne ko sakta hai.
Pan tum apun ka suntaich kidhar hai, kidhar suntan hai.
Dekh-dekh, dekh apna thobda dekh
dekh apna thobda aine main ja kar dekh, kitna mara hai tere ko, kitna mara
pucca idiot dikhta hai, idiot
Abhi tum idhar khada rehne ka hai, thoda dawaai kagayega, hmm, hilne ka nahin
Excuse me
Aiye hilta kai ko hai bhai khada rehne ka hai, shhh, steady, steady, hmm
Steady, Steady, Steady
Don’t mind yeah thoda jalega, lekin chilane ka nahin kya
Apun ka gussa bahur jayada hai, chilane ka nahin
Steady, shshsh thoda jalta hain na, who to jalega hi
Isliye tere ko bola hai daru nahin peene ka, daru bahut kharab cheez hai
Abhi tere ko bandage lagayega
Hmm, kal subah tak sab theek ho jayega
Fikar nahin karne ka, fikar bilkul nahin karne ka, okay
Achcha bhai, abhi apun sone ko jaata hai
Hain, tum bhi jao hum bhi jaata hai, Good night”

13. Swades – Shah rukh khan

Main nahin manta ki humara desh dunia ka sabse mahaan desh hai…lekin yeh
zarur manta hun ki hum mein kaabliyat hai, taaqat hai, apne desh ko mahaan
banaane ki.

Yahan par jaati ke aadhar par bhed bhaav kiya jata hai…Hum log sirf aapas
main ladte rehte hain, jab ki hume ladna chahiye ashiksha ke khilaaf, bhadti
aabadi, bhrastachar ke khilaaf.

Hum Sarkar ki taraf ungli uthate hain aur who kissi aur ki taraf. Hum sub ek
doosre ko dosh de rahe hain jab ki sachchai yeh hai ki hum sab hi doshi hain.”

14. Sholay – Gabbar

Gabbar--hoon. Kitne Admi the ?

1st person--Sardar Do Admi the.
Gabbar--Do Admi....shuor ke bachche !!!
O Do The,Aur tum teen !!
phir bhi wapas aa gaye ? Khaali Haath ?
Kya samajh kar aaye the ?
Ke Sardar Bahat Khush hoga ?
sabasi daiga, kyon! Dhikkar hain !!

Are o Sambha !Kitna inaam rakkhe hain

Sarkar hum par ?
Sambha---Pure pachas hazaar.
Gabbar--Suna ? pure pachas hazaar.
Aur ye Inaam isi liye hain ke
yahase pachas pachas kosh duur
gaome jab Bachcha raat ko rota hain
to maa kehti hay Bete soja soja nahi to
Gabbar Singh Aa jayega,
Aur ye teen Haramzaade !!
Ye Gabbar Singh ka naam
Pura mitti me milai diye ?
Iska saza milegi, barabar milegi.
Kitne goli hai iska andar ?
2nd person--Ha!

Gabbar--Kitni goli hai ?

2nd person---chhe Sardar!
Gabbar--Chhe,chhe goli.
Chhe goli hai iska andar.
Chhe goli aur Admi teen ?
Bahat Na-insafi hai ye !
(SOUND OF GUN 3 TIMES)
Ab thik hai, Ha ab thik hai.
Ab iske teen khano me goli hai
Teen khali.Ab hum isko ghumai diye,
Ab kaha goli hai kaha nahi.
Humko nahi pata !
Humko kuch nahi pata

He...(Laugh)
Is pistol me teen zindegi
teen maut band hai
Dekhe kisse kya milta hai,
(targetting pistol)
1st person-Ha !!
Bach gaye sala
(targetting pistol)
2nd person-- Ha !!
Gabbar--Ye bhi bach gaya !
Tera kya hoga Kaliya ?
Kaliya--S-S-Sardar Maine aapka namak
khaya Sardar !!
(targetting pistol)
Ab... Goli khaa !!
kaliya--Ah.AHH.
Gabbar-- kamaal ho gaya !!
 Teeno bach gaye!
ye bhi hahahaha...(laugh)
teeno haramzadoko golise
..hahahahaha....(laugh)
hahahahaha...hahaha...hahaha..

1----hahahahahaha.....
2----hahahahahaha....
3---hahahahaha.....
Gabbar--hahahahahahahaha..
..teeno bach gaye.
ALL--hahahahahahaha.............
.............................
(3 shot sounds from pistol.........
.........

Gabbar--JO DAR GAYA, SAMJHO MAR GAYA !!

15. Raanjhana – Dhanush

बस इतनी हि कहानी थी मेरी..
एक लडकी थी जो बगल मे बैठी थी, एक कु छ डॉक्टर जो अभी भी इस उम्मीद मे थे कि शायद ये मुर्दा
फिर जाग पडे..
एक दोस्त था, जो पागल था.. एक और लडकी थी जिसने अपना सब कु छ हार दिया था मुझपे..
मेरी मा थी, बाप था, बनारस कि गलिया थी, और ये एक हमारा शरीर था जो हमे छोड चुका था.

ये मेरा सीना जिसमे अभीभी आग बाकी थी..

हम उठ सकते थे, पर किसके लिये? म चीख सकते थे, पर किसके लिये?
मेरा प्यार झोया, बनारस कि गलिया, बिंदिया, मुरारी, सब मुझसे छू ट रहा था.

मेरे सीने कि आग या तो मुझे जिंदा कर सकती थी या मुझे मार सकती थी.

पर साला अब उठे कौन? कौन फिरसे मेहनत करे दिल लगाने को.. दिल तुडवाने को..
अबे कोई तो आवाज दे के रोक लो!
ये जो लडकी मुर्दा सी आखे लिये बैठी ही बगल मे, आज भी हा बोल दे तो महादेव कि कसम वापस आ
जाए!
पर नही, अब साला मूड नही. आखे मुंद लेने मे हि सुख है, सो जाने मे हि भलाई है.

पर उठें गे किसी दिन.. उसी गंगा किनारे डमरू बाजाने को.. उन्ही बनारस के गलियो मे दौड जाने को,
किसी झोया के इश्क मे फिर से पड जाने को..!’