COMMUNICATION STYLES & LANGUAGE IN COMMUNICATION

Communication Styles

Passive Communication is a style in which individuals have developed a pattern of avoiding expressing
their opinions or feelings, protecting their rights, and identifying and meeting their needs. Passive
communication is usually born of low self-esteem. These individuals believe: “I’m not worth taking care
of.”

Aggressive Communication is a style in which individuals express their feelings and opinions and
advocate for their needs in a way that violates the rights of others. Thus, aggressive communicators are
verbally and/or physically abusive.

Aggressive communication is born of low self-esteem (often caused by past physical and/or emotional
abuse), unhealed emotional wounds, and feelings of powerlessness.

Passive-Aggressive Communication is a style in which individuals appear passive on the surface but are
really acting out anger in a subtle, indirect, or behind-the-scenes way. Prisoners of War (POWs) often act
in passive-aggressive ways to deal with an overwhelming lack of power

POWs may try to secretly sabotage the prison, make fun of the enemy, or quietly disrupt the system
while smiling and appearing cooperative.

Assertive Communication is a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and
firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive
communication is born of high self-esteem.

These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are
strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.

http://www.serinityonlinetherapy.com/assertiveness.htm: Assertiveness and the Four Styles of Com

Levels of Communication

Intrapersonal – thoughts, self-talk,

awareness of attitudes and feelings.

Interpersonal – dyadic [two or few]

Group - 3 or more people

 Public - 1 person communicating face to face with an audience

Mass Communication – use of some form of technology to reach large audiences which cannot
be grouped in one place

(Read about the characteristics of the different levels)

Non-Verbal Communication

The process of sending messages without the use of words.

Examples: gestures, eye-contact, body language, facial expression, posture, clothes, hairstyles, art,
architecture, features of speech etc.

Non-verbal communication includes all behaviours, attributes, and objects of human, other than words,
that communicate messages and have shared social meaning (Morreale, Spitzberg, & Barge, 2001)

Kinesis: The Science of Non-verbal Communication

Ambulation

Touching

Eye contact

Posturing

Tics

Sub-vocals

Distancing

Non-Verbal…

Gesturing

Vocalism/Inflection

The environment

Non-verbal Communication can also be in appearance & other cues such as:

clothes, hair, jewelry, vehicle, cosmetics, automobiles, location and style of residences.

Some Non-verbal Fields of Communication :

Kinesics – body language [facial expressions, gestures, movements]

Proxemics – the use and interpretation of space [posture, positioning, physical contact]
 Para-linguistics – feedback sounds of surprise, agreement, annoyance etc.

(Evans 1989)

Studies done in Nonverbal Communication:

Object Communication – clothes etc.

Haptics – the study of touching [handshakes, high-fives, kissing, slapping the shoulder etc.]

Oculesics – study of the role of the eye in communication [eye contact, eye lowering etc.]

Non-Verbal…

Vocalics – study of non-verbal cues in the voice [tone, pitch, etc.]

Semiotics – study of signs & symbols

Chronemics – use of time (intentional/unintentional)

Functions of Non-verbal Communication

Word substitution - emblem

Complements & accents - illustrator

Regulation of instruction - regulator

Contradictions – mixed message

(Morreale, Spitzberg, & Barge, 2001)

Verbal Communication

The communication mode which we rely on most often to carry meaning from one person to another.
However, there are significant difficulties in sole reliance on this mode of communication.

There are many examples of misunderstandings among people who rely on words to carry meaning.

Words in themselves do not have meaning. People have meaning

Words are tools that are used to try and convey meaning that is idiosyncratic to one person into the
idiosyncratic meaning system of the other person

Difficulties With The Use of Words

- We attach to them different experiential and emotional connotations.

- Words are not always associated with similar experiences or similar feelings on the part of the
listener and speaker.
- The use of clichés.
- The use of specialized vocabularies.
- The use of jargon.

It is often said that words have meaning only in context; it can be better said that words only have
meaning when they are associated with people in context (University of San Francisco).

Communication Barriers

Communication can be hindered or coloured by certain types of behaviours.

Interruption – Cuts people off before they are finished speaking.

Negating – discrediting what someone says.

Ignoring – not paying attention; controlling the communication process; disregarding the other
persons contribution.

Sarcasm – Mockingly supportive.

Accusing – attributing a behaviour to someone without proof.

Insulting/Name Calling – aggressive personal attacks that create hostility and interfere with the
communication process.

Globalization – Generalizing about a persons behaviour/making blanket statements.

Judging – when someone assumes the right to decide if others are right or wrong.

Blaming – ascribing responsibility of an incident/event to someone without proper

investigation.

Stating Opinions as Facts – stating a personal opinion/belief as the absolute truth.

Expecting/Mind Reading – assuming that thoughts and feelings are visible to others.
 Nature of Language

Language is a system of symbols: “Spoken words are the symbols of mental experience and written
words are the symbols of spoken words” (Aristotle).

Symbol: Something that stands for or represents something else, either by association or convention
(Pearson & Nelson 1991).

Symbols are arbitrary i.e. there is not necessarily any relationship between the word and the thing it is
used to represent except at the time of representation. Words symbolize events, people, and ideas, by
agreement among the people who use them and by conventional use.

The advantage of viewing language as a system of arbitrary symbols is that it alerts us to the dangers of
abstractions and the assumptions people make about what words mean. Words like “bad”, “good”,
“fear”, “love” are abstract and may no be easy to connect to concrete reality.

Refer to Ogden & Richards Triangle of meaning

Symbolism: We name and label things in our environment by observing them. We identify certain
characteristics or qualities about them and then classify them in one group or another, e.g. table, chair,
bag. This allows us to reduce the clutter in our brains that results from the hundreds of stimuli that
come at us daily by placing things in categories.

Though symbols provide an important function for language they may also create confusion if
specifications are ignored. For example the “duffle bag” or the “mahogany table” with six legs, will help
to clarify for the hearer what bag or table you are referring to.

One should never assume that another person means exactly what one means even when he/she uses
the same words. Example: “enough” may mean different amounts to different people.

Language as performing actions: “Speech Acts” – an integral part of the activity that will render the
activity incomplete or not having taken place if not said e.g. I accept"

Semantics

“The study or science of meaning in language forms” (Pearson & Nelson 1991). It studies the ways in
which individuals use language to respond to certain meaningful notions.

Of particular interest is how the relationships between words and meaning change over time. Words
such as “gay” and “dog” have different meanings to what they specifically meant some years ago .

Syntactics:

The study of how we put words together to form phrases and sentences.

We generally use groups of words, not individual words, to express our thoughts. Language
involves the combination of words by rules which organize thoughts into meaningful units.
The same words organized in a different way can mean different things.

“I am going to school today” is very different from, “am I going to school today?”.

Subculture Influence on Language

Subculture influence on language: Several cultures may exist within the wider cultural group. These sub-
groups may be differentiated by social status, age, ethnic background, religion etc. each group has its
own way of communicating which is distinctive from the others. For example, the use of special words
and phrases.

Language is shaped by our culture, Society, community, attitudes, values experiences etc.

- Cultural influence

- Sub-cultural influence

- Individual influence (denotative, connotative)

- Influence of the situation or setting.

Self-Concept & Language

A person’s self-concept consists of all the attitudes and beliefs about himself/herself – ones ability.
Character, attitudes, traits, appearance, aims and deeds. These determine what the person thinks
he/she is, what he/she does, what he/she will become.

Self-concept is formed through interactions with people, the way others react towards us and the
appraisals they make of our efforts.

An analysis of the “Self”: George Mead (1934)

“I” – Impulsive and unpredictable

“Me” – Regulatory (generalised other)

Ideas of self:

Modern Self – True and stable

Multiple self/Postmodern self

Self-concept & Language

The Self:

Unique

Apart from

Implied others

Objectified

Identified by others

Determined through relationships

Self-concept & Language

Perceived through others

Shaped by significant others

Measured with generalised others (standards)