Building Confidence: An Imperative Skill
Building Confidence: An Imperative Skill
Building Confidence: An Imperative Skill
An Imperative Skill
Each person’s
talents are enduring
and unique
Each person’s greatest
potential for growth Is in
the area of his or her
greatest strength
Strength
Definition of Strength:
Consistent near perfect performance in an activity
A person cannot have a strength without having the requisite talent. You
may develop the knowledge and skills to get by, but without the talent
you won’t be able to achieve consistent, near perfect performance.
The key to building a strength is to first identify your dominant talents, then
refine them with knowledge and skills.
Example: If you sign up for classes on leadership or empathy or
assertiveness or public speaking, you will not see dramatic improvement
unless you have the natural talent for one of these. This is diverting your
energy toward damage control (fixing weaknesses) and not toward real
development.
Talent
Naturally reoccurring patterns of
thought, feeling or behavior that
can be productively applied
Knowledge
Facts and lessons learned
Strengths
Skills
The steps of an activity or ability to
conduct an activity
Source: Buckingham, M. & Clifton, D. Now Discover Your Strengths, Free Press, NY 2001
Unfortunately, most of us have little sense of our talents and strengths, much
less the ability to build our lives around them. Instead, guided by our
parents, by our teachers, by our managers, and by psychology's fascination
with pathology, we become experts in our weaknesses and spend our lives
trying to repair these flaws, while our strengths lie dormant and neglected.
How do I discover my talents?
1. Monitor your spontaneous, top-of-mind reactions to the
situations you encounter.
2. Also monitor these 3 things:
Yearnings – activities you are drawn to naturally,
particularly at a young age. You may not heed the desire
to cultivate them because you are busy doing other
things, but they will keep “calling out” to you.
Rapid Learning – An ability to rapidly learn a new skill will
give us clues to a talent’s presence.
Satisfactions – Since it “feels good” to use a talent, if doing
something makes you feel really good or satisfied, it may
be a natural talent. This shouldn’t be confused with the
idea that “if it feels good, do it”. Obviously this applies to
productive behaviors only, as the definition of talent
implies.
How do I discover my talents?
http://richardstep.com/richardstep-strengths-
weaknesses-aptitude-test/
Obstacles to Building One’s Strengths
Fear of weakness –
Inherent in our upbringing. If a child comes home with 8 A’s and 1
C, what grade gets the most attention? While it may be necessary
to manage around our weaknesses if they interfere with our
strengths, focusing only on weaknesses will not help us prevent
failure. It will not help us reach excellence. Excellence is reached
only by understanding and cultivating strengths.
Obstacles to Building One’s Strengths
Fear of failure -
Some failures are easy to handle (when it’s not something we are
good at), but when we fail while doing something that plays to our
strengths, that can be difficult to handle. The process of “act, learn,
refine, act, learn, refine…” is the essence of strong living.
Delusion, or not realizing you are failing, is one danger. Denial, or finding
reasons why your failures have nothing to do with you, is another danger.
Delusion and denial together are a lethal combination.
Obstacles to Building One’s Strengths
Overconfidence
Optimal confidence
Lack of confidence
Optimal Confidence, Under confidence &
Overconfidence
The inverted-U
illustrating the
confidence-
performance
relationship
Building Self–Confidence
Act confidently
• Use game-pressure simulations.
• Instructors-coaches should display confidence.
• Teach athletes to display confidence.
Imagery
• Imagine yourself as confident and successful.
Building Self–Confidence
Prepare
• Develop performance plans and routines; plans give you
confidence because
Negative Positive