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    Finding Joy
    Finding Joy
    Finding Joy
    Ebook96 pages31 minutes

    Finding Joy

    By Carla McMann

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    After the suicide of her sister, Carla’s world turned upside down. Having contemplated the act herself for years, the tragic incident drastically altered her life perspective. She kept a journal for her sister, which is what you are now holding in your hands. Carla’s poems reflect the raw authenticity of grief; they are unfiltered and unapologetic, jagged and oftentimes vulgar. But as you explore the passages of her journey to the center of her sorrow, you just may discover the very joy that had been there from the start, and never left. Her words will reach into your core, break your heart, and make you whole again.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCarla McMann
    Release dateJun 7, 2022
    ISBN9781546331827
    Finding Joy

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    Reviews for Finding Joy

    5/5

    9 ratings3 reviews

    What did you think?

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    Review must be at least 10 words

    • 5/5
      5 Stars! Just Wow! I really loved how this story came together! A more detailed review to come!

      ARC provided by author for an honest review.

    • 5/5
      You know what gets me hot? Smart writing. And this book? Is written brilliantly. The themes woven throughout, the banter, the wittiness. I seriously swooned. Remembering Joy was wonderful. Finding Joy is amazing. You can see the growth of Jenni Moen's writing ability so well. That's saying a lot since I was someone that was jumping up and down yelling about how great her writing was in her first book and it's gotten even better!

      Ok, let's talk about the book.

      If you read Remembering Joy, you know where we start (and if you haven't, what the hell are you doing here? Go read it! Go now and come back when you have. Scoot!)

      So, this book is about Adam and Alexis finding out if they really "work". Can they make it? Can they pull through after all the history and pain that is between them? Of course I was screaming "they have to!!!" But you have to read it to find out if they can :)

      The real world is settling in, there are outside factors encroaching on their lives and now they have to deal with the reality of friends and family that don't understand how these two people could possibly be good for each other. There are gauntlets thrown and mazes that have to be navigated and it's all written so beautifully.

      What I loved, loved, loved was that this was real feeling. Adam and Alexis had to grow in their relationship. They needed to figure out how to live together, and most certainly how to communicate. There is a scene that had me just well, swooning over the brilliant character that is Adam. When you read the boat scene, ping me and tell me if that was not one of the most amazing scenes you have ever written. I freaking LOVED it. I told my husband that any time we need to talk something through, we are now renting a row boat. The boat also cemented my undying love for Adam. He is just such a calming force in Allie's life. His personality and his love for Allie just make me... sigh. He is awesomesauce.

      This book is certainly not all puppy dogs and rainbows. It's emotional, riveting and heart wrenching. It's happy, it's sad, it's everything in between. In then end you will be so thankful that you read it and so thankful that Jenni Moen created such an amazing story. I promise.

    • 5/5
      I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review. Review to follow as part of the blog tour.

    Book preview

    Finding Joy - Carla McMann

    a word of thanks:

    to my family and friends,

    to everyone who challenged my sense of worth,

    and to you

    for helping my dreams come true

    the reality

    it’s not like the movies.

    there’s no orchestra

    playing in somber keys

    as you weep.

    no angelic visitations,

    no communing with spirits

    as you sleep.

    no reversing time,

    no bringing back the dead

    with true love’s kiss.

    no sense of closure.

    no goodbye.

    not even an answer

    to your

    why?

    just a phantom limb

    you’ll always miss.

    the viewing

    cold anticipation

    knocks in your heart

    dread weighs heavy in your veins

    yet you force yourself to look

    to confirm the knowledge

    you don’t want to accept

    bloated and leathered

    by embalming fluid

    the corpse in the casket

    looks more like a mannequin

    than the person you knew

    a moment

    half hopeful,

    half desperate

    creeps over you

    and you silently ask

    who is that?

    (surely this is a fucking hoax

    a poorly made replica

    she paid the funeral home

    to create

    so that she could escape

    to an island somewhere

    and sip mojitos

    and not have to say sorry

    or goodbye)

    so if that isn’t you,

    where the fuck are you?

    looking down at me from heaven

    screaming up at me from hell

    recycled into a new body

    never to remember me again

    except perhaps in dreams

    or are you simply no more?

    is there such a thing

    as peace, as rest

    an eternal nothingness

    and is that supposed to be mercy?

    that your light was extinguished?

    surely not

    i can still feel it

    you haven’t gone,

    have you?

    you are

    there, here

    nowhere, everywhere

    invisible

    yet tangible

    as the wind

    how the fuck

    could you do this

    to me?

    to everybody?

    this is a fucking hoax.

    right?

    (please.)

    but your weary eyes

    and the corpse in the casket

    whisper without words

    that

    this

    is

    not

    a

    hoax.

    never again

    i wanted to touch it.

    her blood.

    the puddle of it in the soil.

    the place where she did it.

    taste it, even.

    i just wanted to feel

    some part of her again.

    i wanted to wash her hair

    hold her hand

    make her laugh.

    i wanted to go back in time

    take the gun from her hand

    hold her in my arms

    and never let go.

    now that i could never

    ever

    have her again

    she was all i wanted.

    the almost comic tragedy

    how ironic

    that people bring flowers

    to a funeral

    as if we aren’t

    already painfully reminded

    that all beautiful things

    eventually die.

    anywhere but here

    all

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