Word Remedies
By Jane O'Shea
()
About this ebook
Word Remedies help us to hear ourselves above the chatter and bustle of our daily lives. These words help to make sense of our messy inner landscapes, help to untangle the complexities of our relationships, and they reflect both our wonder at the world around us and our worry about what is happening to it.
With Word Remedies, we can begin unfamiliar and sometimes overdue conversations with ourselves and with others.
Word Remedies are soothing, provocative, and healing.
This book is a collection of 259 word remedies. 85 are included in my first book Follow Yourself Home, 110 are in my second book In Your Smallest Pocket, and the last 64 haven't been published before.
Jane O'Shea
Jane lives in Wellington, New Zealand with her husband Peter. She spends her days tending her garden, walking her dog, and writing. She still sometimes works as a mediator, facilitator, and communications coach and presenter. She has written two other books: In Your Smallest Pocket and Word Remedies. For more information and for book purchases, go to her website: www.wordremedies.co.nz
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Word Remedies - Jane O'Shea
PREFACE
––––––––
Word Remedies help us to hear ourselves above the chatter and bustle of our daily lives. These words help to make sense of our messy inner landscapes, help to untangle the complexities of our relationships, and they reflect both our wonder at the world around us and our worry about what is happening to it.
With Word Remedies, we can begin unfamiliar and sometimes overdue conversations with ourselves and with others.
Word Remedies are soothing, provocative, and healing.
INTRODUCTION
––––––––
One day it happened. I couldn’t wait any longer. Out of nowhere the thought hit me you are halfway through your life and it’s time to get on with it
. I knew exactly what I was talking to myself about. Writing.
Realising that I couldn’t hide from myself any longer, I rearranged my schedule so that I could have one morning a week to start doing the thing I’d been putting off for as long as I could remember. Thursday morning was it.
The first Thursday morning arrived with no distractions, no interruptions and to my great alarm, no words. With pen and paper, I first sat at my desk, then in my garden, then by the river, then tried walking through the forest – but nothing. By lunchtime I was agitated. Had this life-long dream to write been a delusion.
The next Thursday arrived and I pulled on my big-girl pants to give it another go. But by the end of morning, just like the first week, I had nothing but a few pages of crossed-out words. I was very unhappy and called myself a few choice words.
Deciding there had to be a better way, I called a writer friend and asked for help. He gave me two great pieces of writing advice.
First, to write only about what was important to me – what I felt, experienced, thought. So I starting writing about self-doubt and fear, and about the messiness of relationships. To write about what was right there, right then.
Second, he taught me to bear the first awful drafts, explaining that writing was a big messy word-vomit followed by editing, editing, editing.
So the next Thursday I had a huge word vomit – pages and pages of it. This gave me enough material to edit away for many Thursdays to come.
Somewhere along the way I have learnt to endure all the bad writing that comes out of me. I’ve also learnt to discipline myself to edit for as long as it takes, and to be unafraid of discarding something no matter how long I have worked on it.
That was 2003. As you will see, I have distracted myself over and over since I started this writing lark 18 years ago.
This book is a collection of 259 word remedies. 85 are included in my first book Follow Yourself Home, 110 are in my second book In Your Smallest Pocket, and the last 64 haven’t been published before.
I have written about what has meaning for me, and what I have observed in others. Writing is my most challenging, and at the same time, most rewarding endeavour. The plan is to keep writing for the rest of my life as there are still a few books up my sleeve. Though judging from past experience, I’m sure to wobble off course from time to time.
Writing this book has been remedial for me. I hope that reading it will be the same for you.
STARTING
January 2003 - February 2004
––––––––
A TIME WHEN
––––––––
Words and phrases keep popping into my head, reminding me that I have always wanted to be a writer. I realise that I’m half way through my life and it’s time to get on with it. All those things I would do someday ... that day was now.
I’d given a copy of my very first poem to a friend and noticed it stuck on his fridge. He tells me that he reads it often and it helps. I’m dumbfounded. Maybe I can do this, maybe it’s time to give it a serious go. Maybe.
THAT SOLID PLACE
––––––––
I am no longer content
to let anyone else’s opinion of me
mean more than my opinion of myself
––––––––
I am no longer content
to give up my own true
wants, needs, thoughts and opinions
because someone else
believes something different
––––––––
I am no longer content
to let my mind get caught in those old traps
that take me to that old place
that does me no good
––––––––
To go there
leaves me collapsed
leaves me lost
leaves me confused
leaves me exhausted
––––––––
I own and treasure that solid place inside of me
and nurture it and cradle it
and won’t give it up
for any reason
at any time
for anyone
––––––––
It is mine and I need this
more than I need anything else
more than I need love
more than I need acceptance
more than I need validation
––––––––
I need me to believe in me
––––––––
January 2003 (1)
––––––––
THE STILL SILENT TREES
––––––––
All you need do is breathe out
and everything else takes care of itself
––––––––
With each breath
the air, christened by the silent trees
enters you warmed and loved
then is released into a waiting world
––––––––
From your first breath at birth
rhythmed and measured
until the last breath of your surrender
––––––––
And each breath in between
announcing your blessed place
––––––––
Breath after breath
connecting you to everything
in this lively sea of air
––––––––
February 2003 (2)
ON OUR KNEES
––––––––
Marriage is sacred
Not because it is sanctified by God
but because it brings us to our knees
––––––––
Kneeling on the cold wooden floor
we are asking for blessings
we are asking for answers
How to love
How to be loved
––––––––
A yearning heart
sitting before the altar of love
candles lit in worship
––––––––
A screaming heart
standing before the vast despair
arms raised, raging
––––––––
A silent heart
kneeling before itself
eyes closed in hope
––––––––
All asking
How to love
How to be loved
––––––––
March 2003 (3)
THE WHOLE OF MY LIFE
––––––––
For the whole of my life
I have hidden myself
believing that I am not good enough
––––––––
For the whole of my life
I have stood behind someone else
complaining they are in my way
––––––––
For the whole of my life
I have denied my creative spirit
by spending my time
doing every thing else
––––––––
Now, I can stand on the mountain of my life
and appreciate all that I am
Now, I walk beside the seemingly infinite ocean
and watch as the river empties
itself into that great expanse
Embracing the creative emptiness within me
––––––––
And now
I honour my creative spirit
to breathe
to create
and to celebrate
––––––––
July 2003 (4)
A DIVINE SWEETNESS
––––––––
I woke this morning
to a divine sweetness
in my mouth
––––––––
In the night
someone had forgiven me
––––––––
Or perhaps it was I
who had forgiven
––––––––
July 2003 (5)
THE MARRIAGE VOWS
––––––––
I will hurt you, this I can promise
for if I don’t, then this is not love
––––––––
I want you rough and raw
not some smooth and shiny version
that may suit me better
And I will not always change for you
We will not always fit
This I can promise
––––––––
Sometimes when you come to me small and fragile
I will fail you
This too I can promise
Forgive me
––––––––
You will know my fury
You will know my withdrawal
I will blame you
This I can promise
Again - forgive me
––––––––
In the sometimes conflict and confusion
I will not dull myself
so we can live in numbed compliance
I promise to stay present and alive with you
––––––––
And yes, there will be love and lust, laughter and joy
that’s the