PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS Personal effectiveness means making use of all the personal resources –

talents, skills, energy and time, to enable you to achieve life goals. Your knowledge of yourself and
how you manage yourself impacts directly on your personal effectiveness. Being self-aware, making
the most of your strengths, learning new skills and techniques and behavioral flexibility are all keys to
improving your personal performance. Our personal effectiveness depends on our innate
characteristics – talent and experience accumulated in the process of personal development.

Experience includes knowledge and skills that we acquire in the process of cognitive and practical
activities.

Knowledge is required for setting goals, defining an action plan to achieve them and risk assessment.
Skills also determine whether real actions are performed in accordance with the plan. If the same ability
is used many times in the same situation, then it becomes a habit that runs automatically,
subconsciously.

Here are some skills that will greatly increase the efficiency of any person who
owns them:
1. Determination. It allows you to focus only on achieving a specific goal without being distracted by less
important things or spontaneous desires. It may be developed with the help of self-discipline exercise.

2. Self-confidence. It appears in the process of personal development, as a result of getting aware of

3. Persistence. It makes you keep moving forward regardless of emerging obstacles – problems, laziness,
bad emotional state, etc. It reduces the costs of overcoming obstacles. It can also be developed with the
help of self-discipline exercise.

4. Managing stress. It helps combat stress that arises in daily life from the environment and other
people. Stress arises from the uncertainty in an unknown situation when a lack of information creates
the risk of negative consequences of your actions. It increases efficiency in the actively changing
environment.

5. Problem-solving skills. They help cope with the problems encountered with a lack of experience. It
increases efficiency by adopting new ways of achieving goals when obtaining a new experience.

6. Creativity. It allows you to find extraordinary ways to carry out a specific action that no one has tried
to use. It can lead to a decrease or an increase of costs, but usually the speed of action is greatly
increased when using creative tools.

7. Generating ideas. It helps you achieve goals using new, original, unconventional ideas. Idea is a
mental image of an object formed by the human mind, which can be changed before being
implemented in the real world. For generating ideas, you can use a method of mental maps, which
allows you to materialize, visualize and scrutinize all your ideas, which in turn contributes to the
emergence of new ideas. These are just some, but the most important personal effectiveness skills
which make the achievement of any goal easier and less costly.

ASPECTS OF THE SELF The self-concept is represented by several aspects of the self. It is conceived as
collection of multiple, context-dependent selves. This construct believes that context activates particular
regions of self-knowledge and self-relevant feedback affects self-evaluations.

A deeper look on the different aspects of self can identify specific areas for self-regulation, stability and
improvement. In a nutshell, an individual is composed of three basics, but very different aspects of the
self. They are the physical or tangible aspects as they relate to the body, the intellectual and conscious
aspects as they relate to the mind, and the emotional and intuitive aspects as they relate to the spirit.

All three aspects of the self-work together in perfect harmony when attention is paid to all three
simultaneously. Many individuals put a strong emphasis on the physical aspect of the self. The body is
tangible, obvious, and we respond to it easily. More time and money are spent on enhancing the
physical component than either of the other two aspects. This does not mean, however, that the body is
healthy or strong. The body provides a place to house the spirit (often experienced as feelings) and the
mind (often experienced as thought).

It may be important to some that their mind can be prominent and well educated. The mind is
important, as it is the part of the self that directs the other two aspects. The mind learns what to do and
communicates the information to the body and the feelings. What the mind believes, the body
manifests or acts on, and the emotions feel, or respond with.

People store both healthy and destructive thoughts and beliefs and responds to life's circumstances in
the most prominent manner. The mind provides access creativity and serenity which are necessary for
such processes as prayer, forgiveness, acceptance, and passion.

The human emotions are the most feared aspect of the self, as individuals are reluctant and unprepared
to manage them. Managing feelings is like trying to hold water in the palm of your hand. They are
illusive and deceptive. A decision made under emotional stress and strain usually impacts emotions
negatively. Negative emotions that are not managed are stored and repressed.

Repression is destructive to a content self since all feelings, not only negative ones are stored away.
Accessing feelings when they are needed now becomes difficult, leaving the individual numb and
hopeless. For instance, a girl realizes that she is giving much attention on the physical aspects and less
attention on her intellectual self. In this way, she can discover how much money and time spent
maintaining her physique and its consequences in her grades. By this honest evaluation of herself, she
can plan effective actions to improve her study habits. She can start seeking for help and for related
books to read or browse articles to help her improve.

Pacquiao often speaks of his debt to his maternal uncle, Sardo Mejia, who introduced him to boxing
after he dropped out of school. It was this moment that would spark an unforeseen passion and drive in
Pacquiao to be one of the best boxers in the entire world. According to his autobiography, he describes
watching Mike Tyson’s shocking defeat to James “Buster” Douglas in 1990 on television with his uncle
as an experience that “changed [his] life forever.” In his hometown, he set up an open-for-all boxing
match and beat every opponent who came. He was well on the road of transforming himself from a
lanky school dropout to a junior boxing champion.

Despite his success, his family was still living in extreme poverty and hunger. They became so
desperate to the point that his father had to kill his pet dog for dinner.

Pacquiao could not forgive his father for what he did so he left home, slept on cardboard
boxes, and sold bread on the streets just to make a meager living. At that point, he also used boxing
and won matches for $2 each, as a means of escaping poverty.

He soon moved to Manila and continued winning several boxing matches, but given the
increased standards of living, he wasn’t making enough to survive. He soon got a job at a local gym
doing gardening, cleaning and construction while boxing on the side. He trained crazily all day and all
night when possible, waking up the earliest and leaving the gym at the latest possible time.

Early on, his perseverance and determination to be a part of the boxing world swayed him to
cheat and add on some weights to meet the featherweight class requirements. As the fights got more
serious, Pacquiao started getting more famous as well. He would beat fighters from South Korea, Japan
and Thailand and at the very young age of 19, he won his first World Champion title by beating Chatchai
Sasakul, the reigning World Boxing Council (WBC) World Flyweight Champion at that time.

The turning point for Pacquiao came when he won against world-class featherweight boxer
Marco Antonio Barrera at the Alamodome in Texas with a TKO. After that fight, he was recognized
internationally as a force to be reckoned with. Today, at 37, he is one of the most respected boxers.
Despite his loss during the Mayweather match, he still has won the hearts of many boxing fans both in
the Philippines and worldwide. His one-of-a-kind story will continue to inspire and it will always portray
the journey of what millions of Filipinos continue to aspire for.

LIVING MINDFULLY Living mindfully is like being an artist: you need the right tools to practice
your craft, and you need to constantly refine your technique to achieve your creative potential. In the
same way, using the present moment tools below will help you to hone a consistent mindfulness
practice that will in time lead to a more aware, compassionate and fulfilling way of life.

1: Breathe Mindfully. Use your breath as an anchor to still your mind and bring your focus back
to the present moment.

2: Listen Deeply. Listen with intention; let others fully express themselves and focus on
understanding how they think and feel.

3: Cultivate Insight. See life as it is, allowing each experience to be an opportunity for learning.

4: Practice Compassion. Consider the thoughts and feelings of others and let tenderness,
kindness and empathy be your guides.

5: Limit Reactivity. Observe rather than be controlled by your emotions. Pause, breathe, and
choose a skillful response based on thoughtful speech and nonviolence under every condition.
 6: Express Gratitude. Practice gratitude daily and expand it outward, appreciating everyone and
everything you encounter.

7: Nurture Mutual Respect. Appreciate our common humanity and value different perspectives
as well as your own.

8: Build Integrity. Cultivate constructive values and consistently act from respect, honesty and
kindness.

9: Foster Leadership. Engage fully in life and in community. Share your unique talents and
generosity.

“Life with the Wright Family”

One day the Wright family decided to take a vacation. The first thing they had to decide was
who would be left at home since there was not enough room in the Wright family car for all of them.
Mr. Wright decided that Aunt Linda Wright would be the one left at home. Of course, this made Aunt
Linda Wright so mad that she left the house immediately yelling "It will be a right cold day before I
return".

The Wright family now bundled up the children, Tommy Wright, Susan Wright, Timmy Wright
and Shelly Wright and got in the car and left. Unfortunately, as they turned out of the driveway
someone had left a trash can in the street so they had to turn right around and stop the car.

They told Tommy Wright to get out of the car and move the trash can so they could get going.
Tommy took so long that they almost left him in the street. Once the Wright family got on the road,
Mother Wright wondered if she had left the stove on. Father Wright told her not to worry he had
checked the stove and she had not left it on. As they turned right at the corner, everyone started to
think about other things that they might have left undone.

No need to worry now, they were off on a right fine vacation. When they arrived at the gas
station, Father Wright put gas in the car and then discovered that he had left his wallet at home. So,
Timmy Wright ran home to get the money that was left behind.

After Timmy had left, Susan Wright started to feel sick. She left the car saying that she had to
throw up. This of course got Mother Wright's attention and she left the car in a hurry. Shelly Wright
wanted to watch Susan get sick, so she left the car too. Father Wright was left with Tommy Wright who
was playing a game in the backseat. With all of this going on, Father Wright decided that this was not
the right time to take a vacation, so he gathered up all of the family and left the gas station as quickly as
he could. When he arrived home, he turned left into the driveway and said "I wish the Wright family had
never left the house today! Right?

Tell the students to get a small item from their own bag, for example, a key, an ID, or a small
wrapped candy. c. Tell the group that you are going to read them a story and every time they hear any
word that sounds like “right”, they are to pass the item in their hand to the person on their right, and
every time they hear the word “left”, they should pass the item to the left.
 d. Start reading the story slowly. After a few passes, stop reading the story and ask them how
they are doing. Check to see that everyone has one item in his/her hand.

e. Now continue to read the story, getting faster as you go. Stop the story a couple of more
times to check on how they are doing.

f. After reading the story, tell the students to return the item in their hand to the owner. Ask the
following questions:

How much of the story can you remember? a. What does this activity tell us about
communication? b. What does this activity tell us about listening skills? g. Tell them that during this
activity, the idea was not to get too distracted by the “rights” and “lefts” and stay focused on what was
happening in the story. Similarly, in our everyday lives, we often have tasks that pull us in many
directions, but we should always remember what is important - the health of young people.

THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF LATE ADOLESCENCE

Physical Development  Most girls have completed the physical changes related to puberty by
age 15. Boys are still maturing and gaining strength, muscle mass, and height and are completing the
development of sexual traits.

Emotional Development  May stress over school and test scores.  Is self-involved (may have
high expectations and low self-concept).  Seeks privacy and time alone.  Is concerned about physical
and sexual attractiveness.  May complain that parents prevent him or her from doing things
independently.  Starts to want both physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.  Experiences of
intimate relationships

Social Development  shifts in relationship with parents from dependency and subordination to
one that reflects the adolescent’s increasing maturity and responsibilities in the family and the
community,  Is more and more aware of social behaviors of friends.  Seeks friends that share the same
beliefs, values, and interests.  Friends become more important.  Starts to have more intellectual
interests.  Explores romantic and sexual behaviors with others.  May be influenced by peers to try
risky behaviors (alcohol, tobacco, sex).

Mental Development  Becomes better able to set goals and think in terms of the future.  Has
a better understanding of complex problems and issues.

THE COURAGE TO BE IMPERFECT

By Timothy D. Evans, Ph.D.

Encouragement is the key ingredient for improving your relationships with others. It is the single
most important skill necessary for getting along with others – so important that the lack of it could be
considered the primary cause of conflict and misbehavior. Encouragement develops a person’s
psychological hardiness and social interest. Encouragement is the lifeblood of a relationship. And yet this
simple concept is often very hard to put into practice. Encouragement is not a new idea. Its spiritual
connotation dates back to the Bible in Hebrews 3:11 which states, “Encourage one another daily.”
Encouragement, as a psychological idea, was developed by psychiatrist Alfred Adler in the early 20th
century and continued to evolve through the work of Adler’s follower Rudolph Dreikurs. However, even
today, relatively few educators, parents, psychologists, leaders or couples have utilized this valuable
concept. Most of the time, people mistakenly use a technique like praise in an effort to “encourage”
others.

Half the job of encouragement lies in avoiding discouraging words and actions. When children or
adults misbehave, it is usually because they are discouraged. Instead of building them up, we tear them
down; instead of recognizing their efforts and improvements, we point out mistakes; instead of allowing
them to belong through shared decision-making and meaningful contributions, we isolate and label
them. Most of us are skilled discouragers. We have learned how to bribe, reward and, when that fails, to
punish, criticize, nag, threaten, interrogate and emotionally withdraw. We do this as an attempt to
control those we love, bolstered by the mistaken belief that we are responsible for the behavior of
everyone around us, especially our spouses and children. These attempts to control behavior create
atmospheres of tension and conflict in many houses. Most commonly, we discourage in five general
ways:  We set standards that are too high for others to meet because we are overly ambitious.  We
focus on mistakes as a way to motivate change or improved behavior.  We make constant comparisons
(self to others, siblings to one another).  We automatically give a negative spin to the actions of others.
 We dominate others by being overly helpful, implying that they are unable to do it as well.
Encouragement is not a technique nor is it a special language used to gain compliance. Encouragement
conveys the idea that all human beings are worthwhile, simply because they exist. In one sentence, Mr.
Rogers does more for a child’s sense of adequacy than a hundred instances of praise when he says, “I
like you just the way you are.” Not I like you when you do it well enough, fast enough and get it all
correct. Encouragement develops children’s psychological hardiness -- their ability to function and
recover when things aren’t going their way. Encouragement enhances a feeling of belonging which leads
to greater social interest. Social interest is the tendency for people to unite themselves with other
human beings and to accomplish their tasks in cooperation with others. The Junior League mission of
“developing the potential of women and improving communities through the effective action and
leadership of trained volunteers” is rooted in the idea of social interest.

The first step to becoming an encouraging person is to learn to distinguish encouragement from
discouragement. As a rule, ask yourself: Whatever I say or do, will it bring me closer together or farther
apart from this person? We all have the power to be more encouraging people. The choice as always is
yours.