Confidence Building

“Somehow I can’t believe that there are any
heights that can’t be scaled by a man who
knows the secrets of making dreams
come true.
This special secret, can be summarized in
the four C’s
Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, Constancy
and the greatest of all is Confidence
When you believe in a thing, believe in it all
the way, implicitly and unquestionably.”
Walt Disney
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

John D. Rockefeller: A Story
• A businessman deep in debt and could see no way out
• Creditors closing in on him. Suppliers demanding payments
• Sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could
save his company from bankruptcy
• An Old man appeared. “I can see that something is troubling you,”
• After listening to the executive’s woes, “I believe I can help you.”
• Asked his name, wrote out a cheque, and pushed it into his hand
saying, “Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today,
and you can pay me back at that time.”
• Turned and disappeared quickly as he had come
• Executive saw a cheque for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller,
then one of the richest men in the world!
• “I can erase my money worries in an instant!”
• Put the uncashed cheque in his safe. Just knowing it was there might
give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he
thought.
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• Renewed optimism, negotiated better deals, closed big sales deals.
Within a few months, he was out of debt & making money once again
• Exactly one year later, Returned to the park with the uncashed
cheque. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as
the executive was about to hand back the cheque, a nurse came
running up and grabbed the old man.
• “I’m so glad I caught him!” she cried. He’s always escaping from the
rest home and telling people he’s John D. Rockefeller.”
• And she led the old man away by the arm.
• The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he’d
been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half
a million dollars behind him.
• Suddenly, he realized that it wasn’t the money, real or imagined, that
had turned his life around. It was his newfound self-confidence that
gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Preparing Yourself for Success!
 From the quietly confident doctor whose advice we rely on, to the
charismatic confidence of an inspiring speaker, self-confident
people have qualities that everyone admires
 Extremely important in almost every aspect of lives, yet so many
people struggle to find it. Sadly, People who lack it can find it
difficult to become successful.
 People are reluctant to back a project pitched by nervous,
fumbling, and overly apologetic.
 Persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his head
high, and who readily admits when he does not know something.
 Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience,
peers, bosses, customers, and friends.
 And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in
which a self-confident person finds success.
 The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and
built on. And, it’s well-worth the effort!Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• Self confidence is the
difference between
feeling unstoppable and
feeling scared.
• Your perception of
yourself has an
enormous impact on
how others perceive
you.

Self-confidence is a
term used to
describe how
secure a person is
in his own
decisions and
actions and how
free he is from
doubt.

• The state of mind
characterized by one's
reliance on himself.
• It is a feeling of self-
sufficiency; such assurance
as leads to a feeling of
security.

Main causes
for
lack of
self-confidence

Negative
life
experiencesCONFIDENCE
We often develop feelings of inferiority
and lack of self confidence through
various negative life experiences at
home, school, on the job, etc.

Loss of a
family member or
close friend
Self confidence can diminish when
confronted with tragic life situations
like death of a very close family
members or breaking up of relationship
with a very close friend.

Self
Criticism
Criticizing yourself and
your abilities and blame
yourself for your failures
and disappointment.

External
Pressure
Experiencing too much pressure
from your parents and/or peers to
meet the demands and
expectations that they set out for
you deprives you of the opportunity
to develop your own identity,
independence and autonomy.

Believing that because you have failed before, you will fail again.
Fear sets in which depletes self-confidence.

I've missed more
than 9000 shots in
my career. I've lost
almost
300 games. 26 times,
I've been trusted
to take the game
winning shot and missed.
“
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

I've failed over and
over and over again
in my life. And that
is why I succeed.
“
Michael Jordan
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Identify the person
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• 1832 - lost his job & defeated in legislature
• 1833 - failed in business
• 1835 - sweetheart died
• 1836 - had a nervous breakdown
• 1838 - defeated for Speaker of the U.S.
House
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

• 1843 - defeated for nomination for Congress
• 1848 - lost re-nomination
• 1854 - defeated for U.S. Senate
• 1856 - defeated for nomination Vice
President
•1858 - again defeated for U.S. Senate
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

In 1860 he was
elected President
of USA
Abraham Lincoln
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Sometimes hardships and
reversals can bring out the
best in us
They can be blessings
in disguise!

I have not failed. I've
just found 10,000 ways
that won't work.
Thomas Alva Edison
“ “

Holding you Back
No one is immune
to these effects of
insecurity at work,
but they don't have
to hold you back.

Overcoming the
Feeling of Insecurity
• Insecurity affects every
human being in many different
ways.
• Overcoming this self-doubt
starts with:
– Assess your abilities,
shortcomings and weaknesses,
and try to correct them.

mäträ-sparçäs tu kaunteya
çétoñëa-sukha-duùkha-däù
ägamäpäyino ’nityäs
täàs titikñasva bhärata
REF. Bg 2.14

TRANSLATION
O son of Kunté, the nonpermanent
appearance of happiness and distress, and
their disappearance in due course, are like
the appearance and disappearance of
winter and summer seasons. They arise
from sense perception,
O scion of Bharata, and one must learn to
tolerate them without being disturbed.

How confident are youHow confident are you ??
– Do what you believe to be
right, even if criticized for it
– Willing to take risks
– Admit your mistakes and
learn from them
– Extol your virtues as often &
to as many as possible
– Accept compliments
graciously.
– Govern your behavior based
on what others think
– Stay in your comfort zone
– Work hard to cover up your
mistakes
– Wait for others to congratulate
you
– Dismiss compliments rudely.
High Self
Confidence Low Self Confidence
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Confidence Asessment
• Write up an accomplishment.
• 50-150 words.
What happened
 What you did to make it happen
Resources, Constraints &
Results: people, money, time,
environment…
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Self-Confidence Components
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Self Efficacy
• Bandura put forward the notion that as people become
competent in particular skills and situations they develop a
feeling of self efficacy.
• Self efficacy is different from self confidence. Someone may be
generally self confident but when it came doing something which they
weren’t particularly good at, they may have low self efficacy in that
situation.
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Our expectations of whether or not
self confidence is going to be high or
low may determine
the activity we choose,
the amount of effort we put into it
and
Bandura proposed that people with high self
efficacy
a) Seek challenges, apply effort and persist
b) Attribute success to effort and ability
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Factors Affecting Self Efficacy
1. Performance Accomplishments –
• These probably have the strongest influence on
self confidence.
• If success has been experienced in the past, then
feelings of self confidence are likely to be high
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

2. Vicarious Experiences – This refers to what we
have observed before. If we watch others perform
and be successful, then we are more likely to
experience high self efficacy.
3. Verbal Persuasion – If we are encouraged to try
a particular activity, our confidence in that situation
may increase.
4. Emotional Arousal – Our perceptions of how
aroused we are can effect our confidence in a
particular situation.
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Performance
Efficacy Expectations
Behaviour patterns
Choice
Effort
Persistence
Performance
Accomplishments
Emotional arousal
Vicarious Experiences
Verbal Persuasion
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Healthy self-esteem is a one’s
armor against the challenges
of the world.
As an adult, you know
that every person is
unique and special;
don’t ever forget this
Self Esteem
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Balancing self confidenceBalancing self confidence
Under-confident, avoid taking
risks and stretching himself –
might not even try at all.
Over-confident, may take on
too much risk, stretch himself
beyond his capabilities and fail
badly.
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Building Self-Confidence
So how do you build this sense of balanced
self-confidence?
No quick fix, or five-minute solution.
Building self-confidence is readily achievable,
just as long as you have the focus and
determination.
The things you’ll do to build self-confidence will
also build success – after all, your confidence
will come from real, solid achievement. No-one
can take this away from you!
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Preparing for Your Journey
 Getting yourself ready for your journey to
self-confidence.
You need to take stockof
where you are,
what are yourstrengths,
where you want to go,
Right mindset foryourjourney, and
commit yourself to starting it and staying
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Look at What You've Already Achieved
Think about your life so far, and list the ten best
things you've achieved in an "Achievement Log."
Perhaps you came top in an important test or
exam, played a key role in an important team,
produced the best sales figures in a period, did
something that made a key difference in someone
else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for
your business.
Put these into a smartly formatted document,
which you can look at often.
And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying
the success you’ve already had!
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Think About Your Strengths
Next, use a technique like SWOT
Analysis to take a look at who and
where you are.
What your friends would consider to be
your strengths and weaknesses.
Think about the opportunities and threats
Enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your
strengths!
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Think About What's Important to You, and
Where you Want to Go
Next, think about the things that are really
important to you, and what you want to
achieve with your life.
Setting and achieving goals is a key part of
this, and real self-confidence comes from
this.
Goal setting is the process you use to set
yourself targets, and measure your
successful hitting of those targets.
Set goals that exploit your strengths,
minimize your weaknesses, realize your
opportunities, and control the threats you
face. Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Start Managing Your Mind
At this stage, you need to start
managing yourmind.
Learn to pick up and defeat the
negative self-talk which can destroy
yourconfidence.
Further use and create strong mental
images of what you'll feel andProf. Pardeep Kumar

And Then Commit Yourself to Success!
Make a clear and unequivocal promise to
yourself that you are absolutely committed
to your journey, and that you will do all in
yourpowerto achieve it.
If you find doubts, write them down and
challenge them calmly and rationally. If
they dissolve underscrutiny, that’s great.
However if they are based on genuine risks,
make sure you set additional goals toProf. Pardeep Kumar

How to Increase
Your Self-
Confidence

Some Important Points to
Increase Self Confidence
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence
are beyond your control, there are a number of things you
can consciously do to increase self confidence.
 By using these strategies you can get the mental edge
you need to reach your potential.
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Tolerate
reversals with a
positive
frame of mind
1

• Finding a cocoon of a butterfly.
• Small opening appeared; sat and watched struggle
to force its body through that little hole.
• No progress. It appeared as if it had gone as far as
it could.
• Decision to help with a pair of scissors, snipping
off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
• Butterfly emerged easily.
• Swollen body and small, wrinkled wings.
• Continued to watch expecting the wings would
enlarge and expand to be able to support the body,.
• Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the
rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body
and wrinkled wings. It never was able to fly.

• Struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny
opening was God's way of forcing fluid from the body of
the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for
flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
• Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If God allowed us to go through our life without any
obstacles, we would not be as strong as what we could
have been

Avoid individuals who
suck your energy and
diminish your confidence

Pessimists
drag you down, as do
whiners
and
critics

Cultivate friendship with a
person who is closest to you

• One night, a man had a dream of Walking on a beach with the Lord.
• Two sets of footprints on the vast stretches of sand which he had
crossed.
• One set of footprints, as his own; the other set, as the Lord's.
• Scenes from his life flashed across his mind's eye, as he recalled his
past.
• The spreads of sand behind him seemed to symbolise the life he had
lived till then.
• At certain places, there was only one set of footprints on the sand.
• He thought, "These were those critical moments in my life, when I was
in the depths of despair- all alone!"
• And the thought struck him that the single set of footprints signified
that even the Lord had forsaken him, when he needed Him the most.
• "Where were you. Lord?" he questioned. "How could you have
abandoned me during my most troubled times?"
• "Look closely, my child," the Lord replied. "I love you and I would never
leave you."
• Looking back once again, the man realized that the single set of
footprints were not his own, but the Lord's.
• "My precious child, during times of trial and suffering, you see only one
set of footprints because that was when I carried you!"

Dwell on your
strengths &
not on your
weaknesses
3

Take risks:
– Playing to your strengths is a
smart tactic but not if it
means you hesitate to take
on new challenges.
– Many people don't know
what they are capable of
until they are truly tested.
– Failure can be very useful for
building confidence.
4

Get feedback when you need
it:
– Ask someone who cares about
your development as well as
the quality of your performance
to tell you what she thinks.
– Be sure to pick the right
person.
5

Take a breakTake a break
• Take some time off to refresh, reflect, and enjoy
– Find time to exercise regularly – go for a run, hike,
swim, …
– Have a nice meal with friends/loved ones
– Go shopping – buy that pair of shoes you’ve been
wanting, that tennis racket, …
– Pamper yourself – get your nails done, have a massage,
…
6
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Dress Sharp
 Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the
way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your
physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good,
it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other
people. Improvements can be made by bathing and shaving
frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the
7
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a
person feels about herself is to
examine her walk. Is it slow? tired?
painful? Or is it energetic and
purposeful?
•People with confidence walk quickly.
They have places to go, people to
see, and important work to do.
•Increase your self confidence by
putting some pep in your step.
•Walking 25% faster will make to you
look and feel more important.
8
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Good Posture
People with slumped shoulders
and lethargic movements
display a lack of self
confidence.
They aren’t enthusiastic about
what they’re doing and don’t
consider themselves important.
By practicing good posture,
you’ll automatically feel more
confident.
Stand up straight, keep your
head up, and make eye
contact. You’ll make a positive
9
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to
build confidence is listening
to a motivational speech.
Unfortunately, opportunities
to listen to a great speaker
are few and far between.
You can fill this need by
creating a personal
commercial. Write a 30-60
second speech that
highlights your strengths and
goals. Then recite it in front
10
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Speak up
During group discussions many people never
speak up because they’re afraid that people
will judge them for saying something stupid.
Generally, people are much more accepting
than we imagine.
By making an effort to speak up at least once
in every group discussion, you’ll become a
better public speaker, more confident in your
11
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Work out
Along the same lines as
personal appearance,
physical fitness has a huge
effect on self confidence. If
you’re out of shape, you’ll
feel insecure, unattractive,
and less energetic.
By working out, you improve
your physcial appearance,
energize yourself, and
accomplish something
positive.
 Having the discipline to
12
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Keep on Sharpening Your Skills13
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Focus on Contribution
Too often we get caught up in
our own desires. We focus too
much on ourselves and not
enough on the needs of others
 Concentrate on the
contribution you’re making to
the rest of the world, you won’t
worry as much about you own
flaws. This will increase self
confidence and allow you to
contribute with maximum
efficiency.
The more you contribute to the
14
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Sit in the front row
People constantly strive to sit at the
back of the room.
Most people prefer the back because
they’re afraid of being noticed. This
reflects a lack of self confidence.
 By deciding to sit in the front row, you
can get over this irrational fear and
build your self confidence.
You’ll also be more visible to the
important people talking from the front
15
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Preparation:
Practice will help you
to develop
–Aptitude,
–Positive attitude and
–New skills.
–So Practice,
Practice &
PRACTICE
16

Stick to your PrinciplesStick to your Principles
• Know your principles
– Live the your Golden Rule
– Live your passion
• Then actually live them
• If you don’t have something you believe in, you
don’t have anything. If you don’t stand for
something, you will fall for anything.
17
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

The Imposter SyndromeThe Imposter Syndrome
• Regardless of success achieved or proof
of competence, you are sometimes
convinced that you do not deserve it
– Proof is dismissed as luck, timing, or a result
of deceiving others
18
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

In closing … Believe in yourselfIn closing … Believe in yourself
No one will believe in you until you believe in
yourself
“Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Sun
Tzu
Think about what is important to you
and where you want to go … and then
Just go for it !
And, smile often 
19
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

"My mother drew a distinction between
achievement and success.
She said that achievement is the
knowledge that you have worked hard
and done the best that is in you.
Success is being praised by others ...
Always aim for achievement and
forget about success.”
Helen Hayes, Actress
Prof. Pardeep Kumar

Confidence Building

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